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2007 Week Twelve Recap

Posted on November 28, 2007 by Post Mortem

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View the Week 12 Game Center

In week 12 action:

Kramerica continued their late season playoff push with a 20-point over division-leading SaaBB. This is Kramerica’s first win ever over SaaBB in 6 attempts.
Hedfullalicker defeated CSPJ to place both teams squarely in the thick of the race for the final wild card spot(s). Hed leads the all-time series, 6-3 and has now beaten CSPJ 4 straight times.
Camel Toe picked up a big win, dropping DDT by 35. These two split their season series.
The Jedi Masters defeated Double D in the game of the week. A single TD by Willie Parker would’ve turned this game around for Double D. As it turns out though, TJM locked up the West Division with the win. Double D, on the other hand, has sewn up the #4 playoff seed as the top wild card. TJM swept the season series and is 6-2 against DD in their career matchups.
Post Mortem earned a season sweep of Tappa Kegga Day with an 18-point win. PM has won four straight over TKD and leads the career series, 7-3.
SIAP took a big step toward winning the Central Division crown with a win over Winning Beer Money. The two teams split their season series, and WBM leads the series all-time, 9-5, but SIAP now has a game lead in the division.
In the most meaningless game of the week, The Hip improved to 4-8 with a win over 2-10 Turd Ferguson. The win ended a 3-game series win streak for Turd, who still leads the matchup all-time, 7-4.

Records and Milestones – Jedi Masters edition

The Jedi Masters’ 11 wins are now tied for the 3rd most in a single season in PFFL history. Only two teams have won 12 — TKD and Post Mortem in 1997.
The Jedi’s 10-game winning streak is the 2nd longest in PFFL history. Only TKD had a longer run of success, winning 11 straight from weeks 2-12 in 1997.
The Jedi Masters won their 5th division title. No other team in PFFL history has won more than 3, and only two teams (DDT and TKD) have accomplished that feat. Note: SaaBB could nab their third and either WBM or SIAP will get a third this season.

PFFL Survivor

Turd Ferguson’s remarkable run came to an end this week as they were the final team eliminated from PFFL Survivor. The Jedi Masters roll into the finals, scoring 105+. SaaBB scored 82.42 and Turd came in only 0.33 points behind. SaaBB and TJM will now square off in a two-week battle for $100 of Survivor cash, with the runner-up getting $40.

Division Races:

East: Either SaaBB or Kramerica will win this division. SaaBB can lock it up with a win over DDT this week. If SaaBB loses and Kramerica beats Camel Toe, this division race will come down to either whoever wins in week 14, or the total points race.

Central: Either SIAP or WBM will win this division. If WBM beats The Hip and SIAP loses to Turd this week, WBM will be in the driver’s seat. SIAP can lock it up by winning their last two games.

West: The Jedi Masters have the division (and #1 seed) sewn up. They have absolutely no motivation to defeat Post Mortem this week, so they should probably rest their best players.

Wild Card Race (remember, this is all completely unofficial):

SIAP is in the playoffs, even if they fail to win the Central
Because neither TKD or Hedfullalicker can overtake them in the West and they own head-to-head tiebreakers over both CSPJ and DDT, I’m 98% certain that Post Mortem is in the playoffs as well.
Winning Beer Money looks to have the points advantage (in addition to some head-to-head tiebreakers) to have a postseason spot locked up as well
SaaBB is also in. One of TKD or Hedfullalicker is going to lose next week, and SaaBB can’t finish lower than DDT or CSPJ in the East.
That leaves two playoff spots available, with Kramerica (6-6) in the best position to claim one of them.
Tappa Kegga Day and Hedfullalicker play each other in week 1. If TKD loses, they can kiss the postseason goodbye since they would be locked into 5th place in the West. If Hedfullalicker loses, they might still have a faint whisper of hope in week 14′s game against SaaBB.
DDT holds the tiebreak advantage over CSPJ and Hedfullalicker, but loses out to TKD. DDT’s ideal scenario is a two wins + a Hed win over TKD.
CSPJ is stuck behind DDT, so probably need 2 wins, a DDT loss, and a TKD win over Hedfullalicker this week (CSPJ vs TKD in week 14)
The Hip is not mathematically eliminated, but has zero tiebreakers in their favor. They need a miracle.
Camel Toe and Turd Ferguson are out, since it’s going to take at least 6 wins to play in week 15.

Season High Points

The Jedi Masters look to be in complete control of the season high point race. Their 1330.04 point total is over 120 better than both Double D and WBM.

In recap babe news, Christina Aguilera is pregnant and like all hot chicks in Hollywood before her, chose this time to get naked for the camera.

Categories: Recap | Tags: Christina Aguilera, Recap

2007 Week Eleven Recap

Posted on November 23, 2007 by Post Mortem

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View the Week 11 GameCenter

In Week 11 Action:

Kramerica improved to 5-6 (and 3-3 in the division) with a 4-point win over DDT. The win gives Kramerica a season sweep of DDT and a big tiebreaker advantage for the wild card race.
CSPJ continued to roll, winning a third straight game to improve to 5-6. SaaBB, on the other hand, dropped to 7-4 and lost their first division game of the year.
The Jedi Masters continued to dominate, blowing out Camel Toe by 70. The Jedis lead this series 2-0.
Double D got back on the winning track with a 19-point win over Tappa Kegga Day. TKD is 5-6. They are 5-0 outside the division and 0-6 within the division. Weird. Double D’s season sweep of TKD improves their all-time matchup record to 7-1.
Post Mortem continues to struggle, falling to Hedfullalicker by 21. PM falls to 6-5, while Hed improves to 4-7. Post still leads the all-time series, 11-5.
SIAP fell to 7-4 following a loss to The Hip, by over 35 points. This was The Hip’s first division win of the year, improving their overall record to 3-7. SIAP still leads the career matchup 10-5.
Winning Beer Money seems to have righted the ship, winning a second straight game and improving to 7-4. The win over Turd gives WBM a season sweep of their rivals and improves their all-time advantage to 10-2.

Records & Milestones

The Jedi Masters’ 10 wins are already tied for 10th most wins in a regular season. 12 is the record shared by TKD and Post Mortem (who both did it way back in 1997).
The Jedis’ current 9-game winning streak is tied for the 2nd longest single-season victory run. TKD’s 11 game stretch in 1997 is the record.

PFFL Survivor

Tappa Kegga Day was knocked out of the final grouping this week, despite a respectable 81.95 points. The Jedi Masters, SaaBB and Turd Ferguson are now battling it out for the right to compete in the two-week finals!

Playoff Chase

SaaBB continues to lead the East by 2 games and would lock up the division crown with a win this week.
WBM and SIAP are tied in the Central with matching 7-4 records. SIAP needs to beat WBM this week if they intend to make a run at the division championship.
The Jedi Masters continue to lead the West, but their 10-1 mark is only one better than Double D. If Double D wants to win the division, they best defeat TJM this week.
Double D has already joined The Jedi Masters as playoff qualifiers. The non-division champ from among these two is all but guaranteed of being the #4 seed.
WBM, SIAP and SaaBB all have 7 wins and can likely start printing playoff tickets if they add one more win.
Post Mortem is still in ok shape at 6-5, and could make a strong tiebreaker case with a win over 5-6 TKD this week.
At 5-6, TKD, Kramerica, DDT and CSPJ are currently the contenders for the final two playoff spots (and the final two out-of-the-playoff spots)
Hedfullalicker is still alive at 4-7, but must win their next two games against 5-6 CSPJ and TKD.
The Hip (3-8), Camel Toe (2-9) and Turd (2-9) aren’t mathematically eliminated, but probably will be after week 12 (even if they win)

Heather Graham is this week’s hastily selected recap babe (Hey, it’s a holiday). She’s always been a personal fave, so maybe she’ll bring me some luck in my personal playoff run.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Categories: Recap | Tags: Heather Graham, Recap

2007 Week Ten Recap

Posted on November 14, 2007 by Post Mortem

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View the Week 10 GameCenter

In week 10 action:

Don’t look now, but CSPJ has a winning streak going. CSPJ improved to 4-6 overall (and 3-4 in division play) with a victory over Kramerica. The season series resulted in a split with one win each, but CSPJ now leads the all-time series 4-3.
SaaBB improved to 7-3 with their second straight win, this one over Camel Toe. The season sweep of Camel Toe adds to SaaBB’s already impressive undefeated division play mark (5-0).
DDT got back to .500 with a high-point win this week over The Hip (who scored over 100 but dropped to 2-8). This is DDT’s third straight victory in a career matchup that is tied at 6 wins a piece.
Winning Beer Money got back on the winning track, handing Double D only their second loss of the year. This marks WBM’s first victory over DD since their inaugural matchup in week 6 of the 2003 season. Double D had won the previous four (including a 2003 playoff matchup).
The Jedi Masters cruised to their 8th straight win, 104.11 – 77.31 over slump-busting Tappa Kegga Day. TKD is now 0-5 in West division play, and 5-0 in non-division action. TJM has the league’s best record at 9-1. TJM has won five straight over TKD (including a season sweep this year), and leads the career series, 8-6.
Post Mortem continues to struggle, dropping a close matchup to a Turd Ferguson team that notched only its second victory of the year. Turd has now beaten PM in two straight meetings, but PM still leads the all-time matchup, 7-6.
SIAP improved to 7-3, handing Hedfullalicker their 3rd straight loss by a mere 0.8 points. These two teams had not met since 2001, and despite both teams status as charter PFFL members, this was only their 7th meeting (only the 6th in the regular season). SIAP leads that matchup, 4-3.

Records and Milestones

Turd Ferguson’s victory this week stopped their losing streak at 7 games, the fourth longest losing streak in one season ever.
The Jedi Masters’ eight (and counting) game win streak is tied for the 3rd longest win streak in a single season.
Kramerica’s loss this week was their 50th ever in the regular season. It has only taken them 80 games to hit this milestone. NO team in league history has ever lost this many regular season games this quickly (it took WNFL 93 games to do it, while SIAP took an amazing 116).

PFFL Survivor

The Jedi Masters held immunity coming in and were guaranteed a spot in the final four. Turns out, they didn’t need it. They were the only team still alive in Survivor to score over 100 this week. Their division mates Double D were not quite so lucky. A week after being saved by immunity themselves, the Brady-less DD squad was booted from the island with a miserable 52.93 point showing. Your Survivor Final Four are The Jedi Masters, Turd Ferguson, SaaBB and Tappa Kegga Day. Turd is the surprise of the bunch, sitting at a measly 2-8, but surviving all season long. Let’s take a long at some of Turd’s close calls:

In week 1, they scored 53.2. Luckily for them, Kramerica scored 52.92.
In week 7, they scored 76.63, but DDT scored only 73.58.
In week 9, they scored an impressive 98.96. Double D scored 95.25 but was saved by immunity. Winning Beer Money was eliminated with 98.82 points.

The Jedi Masters have only scored fewer than 86 points once all season: a 63.49 point week in week 5. SaaBB was saved by immunity back in week 8 when they scored 54.66, but has scored more than 67 every other week. Tappa Kegga Day’s lowest scoring output was 77.31 and that happened this week. Should make for an interesting final 4 weeks of Survivor. A few reminders:

No more immunity — lowest score in weeks 11 and 12 is eliminated
The two remaining teams after week 12 will enter a two-week cumulative score battle over weeks 13-14 for the title
The Survivor champ gets $100, the runner-up gets $40

Playoff Races

The Jedi Masters, at 9-1, became the first team to clinch a playoff berth this week.
Double D is in with one more win or a loss by both Kramerica and CSPJ
As things stand today, a .500 record gets you in the playoffs. This is good news for SIAP and SaaBB, who already have 7 wins.
Turd Ferguson, The Hip, and Camel Toe are all one loss away from almost certain elimination
SIAP, SaaBB and Kramerica have the easiest remaining schedules. Camel Toe, unfortunately for them, has the toughest.

Key Week 11 Matchups

Double D seeks a playoff clinching win against Tappa Kegga Day (who seeks their first division win)
SaaBB could probably lock up the division title in the East with a win over CSPJ and a DDT loss to Kramerica
Post Mortem looks for a season sweep of Hedfullalicker, a win that would keep PM’s division hopes on life support and all but lock up a playoff spot
Winning Beer Money faces a Turd Ferguson team trying to play spoiler
DDT can put some distance between themselves and Kramerica in the wild card hunt

When you have the best record and the most points in the league, you can suggest recap girls. That’s what Jedi Masters GM Joel Walker did this week with one Sarah Michelle Gellar. She’s not killing vampires on TV anymore, but apparently has a gazillion movies coming out in the next year. What’s the deal with those gloves?

Categories: Recap | Tags: Recap, Sarah Michelle Gellar

2007 Week Nine Recap

Posted on November 8, 2007 by Post Mortem

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View the Week 9 GameCenter

In week 9 action:

SIAP snuck by Kramerica by 3 points, extending their series lead over KI to 6-0.
SaaBB beat Turd Ferguson by 0.52 points to improve to 6-3. This was their first meeting since 2004 and the series is now tied at 4 wins each.
CSPJ earned a season sweep of Camel Toe with a 45 point win. CSPJ now leads this career matchup, 3-1.
Post Mortem beat DDT in the ugliest game of the week. The combined 104 points were lower than three other teams scored by themselves. Post Mortem leads this series, 4-3.
Double D used a 15 point win to gain a season sweep over Hedfullalicker. DD leads the all-time matchup 2-1.
The Jedi Masters turned in a historically dominant performance (more on that later) against The Hip. The Hip still leads the career series, 5-3, but has been outscored by the Jedis, 833.5 – 722.82 in those eight meetings.
Tappa Kegga Day continued their resurgence, running their win streak to 5 games with a win over Winning Beer Money (who has lost three straight). TKD owns the career series, 9-6, and has won the last three in a row.

Records and Milestones

The Jedi Masters scored 159.84 points this week, which is the 7th highest point total in PFFL history.
The 123.34 point victory margin for the Jedis in their win over The Hip is far and away the largest victory margin ever seen in PFFL. Post Mortem (twice) and Turd Ferguson were the only other teams to ever beat an opponent by 90+, but congratulations are in order for The Jedi Masters, who were the first to win by more than 100.
SaaBB’s 0.52 point win over Turd Ferguson is the 6th closest game in league history
The Jedi Masters current 7 game win streak is tied for 7th longest in a single season.
Turd Ferguson’s 7 game losing streak is now all alone in 4th place on the single season loss streak list.
The Jedi Masters’ high point week is their 8th ever, tied with Double D for 9th most career high point weeks.
Adrian Peterson’s ridiculous 50.5 point day is the best ever single game performance by a starter in the PFFL stats era.

PFFL Survivor

For the second week in a row, immunity came into play. Double D had the lowest point total of the 6 remaining survivors at 95.25, but used the immunity they won in week 8 to earn a continuation of their stay. That was bad news for Winning Beer Money, whose 98.82 got them ousted. The Jedi Masters take immunity into week 10 (the final immunity of the season) and have guaranteed themselves a spot in the final four. Tappa Kegga Day, SaaBB, Turd Ferguson (!!!!) and Double D will battle it out next week to see who gets the other three spots.

Division Race Update

SaaBB’s close win this week allowed them to maintain a 2-game lead over their rivals in the East. That is the biggest advantage for any of the division leaders. Kramerica and DDT both sit at 4-5 with must-win games against SaaBB in weeks 12 and 13.
In the Central, SIAP has taken advantage of WBM’s losing streak to take a 1-game lead. Winning Beer Money still holds a huge advantage, with a perfect 3-0 division record and a game against SIAP in week 12 that would give them the tiebreaker. This is clearly a two-team race as The Hip and Turd have only managed to win 3 games combined.
The most competitive division race is out West. The Jedi Masters and Double D share matching 8-1 marks. TJM beat Double D in their first meeting. DD gets their shot at the division lead in the week 12 rematch. Meanwhile, Post Mortem is still lurking two games back with a head-to-head win over TJM earlier this year (but two losses to DD). And Tappa Kegga Day isn’t dead yet. Their 5-4 record has them in the discussion, but given that they’ve only managed to win games outside the division, they’ve got a serious uphill climb. Hedfullalicker can’t win the division.

Wild Card Race

The Jedi Masters and Double D each have a magic number of 2, but since Kramerica and DDT play head-to-head, all these two need is one more win to lock up a postseason spot.
At 6-3, SIAP, Post Mortem and SaaBB are all in great shape for playoff spots
Tappa Kegga Day and Winning Beer Money, at 5-4, need to simply stay hot to hold onto their playoff positions.
Kramerica and DDT would be your last team in and first team out, respectively, if the season ended today. It doesn’t, and they meet head-to-head in week 11, so this battle could get interesting.
Currently outside the playoff picture, but with five games to make a run, sit Hedfullalicker and CSPJ at 3-6.
The Hip, Camel Toe and Turd Ferguson don’t have much time left to make something happen playoff-wise

This week’s recap babe is an old fave. Next Door Nikki, famous for absolutely nothing beyond her ridiculous boobs and paw-print tattooed backside. I’m both hungry for a peanut butter cup (earlier pic) and kinda confused about whether to be attracted given the extra human she’s carrying around in the last picture here…

Categories: Recap | Tags: Next Door Nikki, Recap

2007 Week Eight Recap

Posted on November 8, 2007 by Post Mortem

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View the Week 8 GameCenter

In week 8 action:

Kramerica improved to .500 with a 40-point win over reeling Winning Beer Money. Kramerica now holds the all-time series lead, 5-4.
The Hip picked up their second win of the year, dropping SaaBB to 5-3 in the process. The 37-point win evens the career matchup at 8 wins each.
DDT improved to 4-4 with a 16-point win over CSPJ. The win gives DDT the season sweep over CSPJ, and a 3-2 advantage all-time.
Camel Toe picked up their second win of the year, extending Turd Ferguson’s losing streak to 6. This new series is tied at one win a piece.
Double D picked up their fifth straight win, and 2nd in 3 weeks over Post Mortem. DD continues to dominate the historical matchup, 8-2.
The Jedi Masters won their sixth straight, dropping Hedfullalicker by 10. The win gives TJM a season sweep of Hedfull, and a 7-6 series lead.
Tappa Kegga Day won their fourth straight, beating arch-rival SIAP by 32. SIAP still leads the career matchup 7-6, but has dropped the last two to TKD. In a scheduling quirk, this was the first meeting between TKD and SIAP since 2002!

Records and Milestones

Turd Ferguson’s sixth straight loss ties them for fourth longest single season losing streak. Ummmm, Yay?

PFFL Survivor

Kramerica was your winner of high points this week (their third ever), however, they had already been eliminated from Survivor back in week 1. The lowest point total of the remaining Survivor teams was SaaBB’s 54.66, but they had immunity! So, that resulted in SIAP getting booted from the island. Double D had the highest point total of the remaining survivors and holds immunity for week 9.

The Recap babe this week is Kim Kardashian. Her career summary is something along the lines of: (1) Used to party a lot with Paris Hilton, (2) Made a sex tape, (3) Got attention for having a big round ass, (4) Got her family some reality show on one of those lesser basic cable channels, (5) Posed for Playboy.

Categories: Recap | Tags: Kim Kardashian, Recap

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2007 Week Twelve Recap

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2007 Week Ten Recap

2007 Week Nine Recap

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