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Monthly Archives: September 2008

Week Three Stat Change [Keeley Hazell]

Posted on September 26, 2008 by Post Mortem

My other lingerie covers even less of me

View the Stat Change News Feed at MyFantasyLeague

Note: I have set the league site setting to automatically apply stat changes as they are loaded onto the myFantasyLeague system.

One stat change this week impacted the final score for Hedfullalicker.

A Baltimore sack of Derek Anderson was changed to a -3 yard rushing play. This converted the sack to a tackle, removing one point from Hedfullalicker’s score.

Stat Change Babe

Can you tell that I’m a Keeley Hazell fan? She’s just ridiculouly hot… Here you will find the shots from her 2009 lingerie calendar, in which she strangely seems to be wearing not a lot of underwear… Definitely NSFW so proceed with caution.

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Categories: From the Commish | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, stat change

2008 Week Three Recap [Codi Milo]

Posted on September 23, 2008 by Post Mortem

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View the Week Three Game Center

View the Week Three Automated Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Rivalry Week (3) Highlights

F**king Illinois Bowl: DDT improved to 3-0 in the East with a victory over winless CSPJ. After losing the first two in their career series, DDT has now won the last 4 meetings. DDT has yet to score 100+ points against CSPJ.
Irish American Cup: Double D notched their first win of the year against division foe SIAP. DD has won 5 straight in this matchup and leads the career series, 6-3.
The White Shirt: Turd Ferguson improved to 2-1 with a win over reeling Kramerica. The all-time matchup is now tied at 4 wins a piece. In an example of just how close this series has been, check out the all-time scoring: Turd: 694.96 – Kramerica: 693.95. Yes, 1.01 points separate these two.
Mooseknuckle Cup: Tappa Kegga Day dropped Camel Toe to 0-3 with a commanding performance this week. TKD now leads the career series 2-0. On the bright side, Camel Toe scored as many points this week as they did in the first two weeks combined.
The Battle for Britney: This was the most lopsided game in this series since Post Mortem beat the Jedis 110-62 in 2000. The win ends a two-game Jedi win streak over PM, including the playoffs last year, and gives Post a 9-7 career lead in the battle for Britney’s heart.
The World’s Smallest Indoor Cocktail Party: Hedfullalicker stayed undefeated with the week’s high point total, and won their first game against The Hip since week 1 of the 2005 season (ok, so they’ve only played one other time in that time span, but still…). The Hip, who are scoring a lot of points in their losing efforts these last two weeks, can take solace in the fact that they still lead this series 9-6.
Battle for the Flute: The band guy’s team won this one, as SaaBB trounced WBM by 40 points. After a week one high point performance, WBM has now dropped two in a row. SaaBB now has an 85 point lead in this career series, but it is as tied as an 11-game history can be at 5-5-1.

Record Watch

CSPJ’s loss this week extends their losing streak to 6 games, dating back to week 12 of last season. That’s good enough to tie for the 9th longest losing streak in PFFL history with 11 other teams. It’s also the longest losing streak in CSPJ team history.
Double D’s win this week makes them the fastest team to record 50 combined wins (regular and post- season). DD took only 81 games to hit the mark, 3 faster than SIAP.
Ronnie Brown’s 44.15 point performance is the second most points scored by a single player who was benched for his game in PFFL player stat history (2004-present). Poor Camel Toe.

Strange Note of the Week: Ronnie Brown likes week 3. Last year, he scored 44.1 points in week 3.

PFFL Survivor

Immunity Winner: Hedfullalicker

Eliminated: Winning Beer Money

Out of Survivor: Camel Toe, Double D, Winning Beer Money

View the current Survivor Standings

Recap Babe

This is Codi Milo. She’s 22, lists her boyfriend as one of her heroes, and is involved in something called “pornography.” I don’t know what that is, but apparently it involves movies, including one called Slut School. Her mySpace page says she makes more than $250,000 a year. That’s not too shabby. In the NSFW gallery below, you’ll also see Codi with some friends.

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2008, Codi Milo, Recap

Week 3 – Rivalry Week – is Upon Us [Danielle Lloyd]

Posted on September 19, 2008 by Post Mortem

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During the summer, I got a head start on some of the preview posts. You can call it cheating if you want, but they all do feature some Keeley Hazell pictures, so I don’t think you’ll complain too much.

This is the one I wrote for week 3.

In this post, I’m going to make an attempt to give a little more life to some of the rivalries in our first ever official Rivalry Week – inspired by (most of) your submissions in the offseason listing your biggest PFFL rivals.

Here we go. If you think any of these are lame, let me know and I’ll rename it to something more of your liking. Otherwise, you just might be stuck with these rivalry names for life.

Post Mortem vs The Jedi Masters
The Battle for BritneyThis is the first ever named PFFL rivalry. There’s even a traveling trophy. It’s a poster of Britney Spears that, yes, I felt weird buying 5 or 6 years ago or whenever. I think it’s in Walker’s basement right now, or on one of his daughter’s bedroom walls.

Duany Duany Tanning vs Chain Smoking Patch Junkies
FIB (F**king Illinois Bowl)

Both of these teams feature owners who reside in Chicago. While this isn’t necessarily a reflection of their individual worth, it does mean that they are likely terrible drivers. I believe this game is being played at Six Flags.

SIAP vs Double D
Irish American Cup

This is the storied matchup of Uncle Sam and the Leprechaun. One nation is an island known for its friendly drunks (just don’t bring up religion!), the other is the most powerful nation in the world. So, yeah, it’s a fair fight.

Kramerica Industries vs Turd Ferguson
The White Shirt

Allegedly, these two dislike the sun and are willing to go to extreme measures to protect themselves from it, to the point of putting on a layer of sunscreen so thick it becomes the equivalent of a shirt. The picture for this one is probably better than an image of either of these owners getting oiled up.

Hedfullalicker vs The Hip
The World’s Smallest Indoor Cocktail Party

One team is literally a head full of liquor. The other has owners separated by an ocean, but governed (symbolically) by the same queen. The name is a knockoff of the annual Florida – Georgia matchup in college football. Hopefully it’s also how these guys spend their time cheering on this game this weekend.

Sharp as a Bowling Ball vs Winning Beer Money
Battle for the Flute

Someone involved in this matchup was in band. Someone on one of these two teams listed the other team as their team’s #1 rival. Historically, they’ve played each other closely, including one tie. Alysson Hannigan and her Band Camp skills await the winner.

Tappa Kegga Day vs Camel Toe
Mooseknuckle Cup

Well, the term is an advanced form of one team’s name, the picture is one that Kennedy would probably post for the other team. It seems to fit. Given that this is only their second meeting ever, they’re probably also going to hope they don’t play again anytime soon during rivalry week so they’re not subjected to this same pic.

Rivalry Babe

Keeley gets the nod as the official preview babe, so for this special rivalry post, we’ll go with one of her countrymates. Say hello to Danielle Lloyd. Did you just say “Hello” out loud? Because she can’t really hear you. I mean, I was just using that figuratively.

More Danielle:

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Categories: General | Tags: 2008, Danielle Lloyd, Preview, rivalry

Week Two Stat Change

Posted on September 18, 2008 by Post Mortem

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One stat change this week has changed the final scores for two teams. Again, no game results were changed.

A Maurice Jones-Drew fumble was changed to not a fumble. This means that Jones-Drew gets 2 points added back to his score (benefitting SIAP) and the Buffalo defense loses 2 points for the fumble recovery (hurting Post Mortem)
SIAP now scored 101.7. Post Mortem now scored 116.42.

Stat Change Babe

Gemma Atkinson hotly supports all stat changes.

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Categories: General | Tags: 2008, Gemma Atkinson, stat change

2008 Week Two Recap [Megan Fox]

Posted on September 17, 2008 by Post Mortem

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View the Week Two Game Center

View the Week Two Automated Recaps at MyFantasyLeague

Megan admires the Jedis week 2 performance

Week 2 Highlights

DDT improved to 2-0 with a 40-point win over Double D. This is DDT’s third straight win over DD and gives them a 3-1 all-time lead.
SIAP snuck by WBM in a 99.7 – 90 thriller. Both teams are now 1-1. WBM still leads the career matchup, 9-6.
The Jedi Masters got huge performances from a number of players on the way to a 60-point win over Kramerica. The Jedis have won 7 of 10 career meetings with KI. Both teams are .500.
Hedfullalicker remained undefeated with an 8-point win over TKD in the closest game of the week. Hed has never beated TKD after week 7 and trails the all-time matchup, 10-4.
Post Mortem withstood a Monday surge from The Hip to hold onto a 12 point victory and remain undefeated. This is Post’s 3rd straight win over the Hipsters, and PM leads the career series 8-4.
SaaBB broke the century mark in scoring in a 40-point win over CSPJ, and now leads the series 5-4-1.
Camel Toe managed to undercut their week one scoring output, posting only 39.43 points this week in a losing effort. Turd Ferguson, despite scoring less than 80, was the beneficiary and improved to 1-1. Turd also has a 2-1 series lead.

Record Watch

The Jedi Masters became the 8th team in PFFL history to record 10 career high point weeks.
The Jedi Masters notched their 80th all-time regular season win this week, putting them in 5th place on the career list (4 ahead of both The Hip and WBM).
Meanwhile, The Hip now has 80 career regular season losses, tops in the league.
DDT became the fastest team to 10,000 points in all (regular + post season) games. It took them 109 games to get there, 2 faster than Post Mortem.

Week 2 Records
(record setting performances in week 2 only)

The Jedi Masters’ 136.71 points is the third highest total ever in week 2, and the highest week 2 output since Post Mortem scored 127.94 in 2005
The Post Mortem – Hip and Jedi – Kramerica matchups are the 6th and 10th highest scoring week 2 games, respectively
The Jedi’s 60.13 point win is the 4th largest victory margin in week 2 history

Odds and Ends

Post Mortem has been the 2nd highest point scorer in both weeks 1 and 2 this season. Fortunately, unlike the season that I will never ever stop talking about, I didn’t lose both of these games.
Camel Toe has scored 88.96 points for the season. 6 of the 14 PFFL teams have exceeded that total in each of their first two games (Jedi, Post, DDT, SIAP, Hed, WBM). Ouch.

PFFL Survivor

I neglected to cover Survivor in week one, and it’s too bad, because it was one of the closest eliminations ever. Winning Beer Money was the high point winner in week one and got week two immunity. On the other end of the spectrum, on Tuesday morning, SaaBB had 49.79 points and Camel Toe had 49.78 (Camel Toe actually lost 0.25 points via stat change later in the week to make this slightly less close). Camel Toe was the first team voted off the PFFL island.

In week 2, The Jedi Masters are your immunity winners with a season high single game point total. At the bottom? Double D’s 60.02 points earned them an early season elimination from Survivor.

View the current Survivor standings

Recap Babe

Even if you’re a terrible actress and you like tattoos a little much for my taste, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get a spot as a recap babe if you admit to a lesbian relationship with a stripper while you were a teenager, like Megan Fox did in the latest GQ.

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided—oh man; sorry, Mommy!—that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop [a strip club on Sunset Boulevard]. I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita. I was there all the time—I would go there by myself. I bought her things—perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man. I felt like I had this need to save Nikita. I’d get lap dances so I could get to know her, and I’d give her what I thought were great little sound bites of inspiration—like You can do it, you’re better than this! I didn’t want her to be there.”

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2008, Megan Fox, Recap

Week One Stat Changes

Posted on September 13, 2008 by Post Mortem

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There were a few stat changes in week 1 that I’ve updated things in the league for.

Only two of the changes impacted our league:

A Chris Perry 5-yd reception was changed to a run. This deducted 5 yards from Carson Palmer’s passing yards total, and therefore deducted 0.25 points from Camel Toe’s score
Jay Cutler’s passing yardage total was changed from 299 to 300. This gets him into passing yardage bonus territory, so Hedfullalicker’s point total increased 3.05 points

No game results were impacted by these changes.

Stat Change Babe? That’s Sophie Monk

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Categories: From the Commish | Tags: 2008, Sophie Monk, stat change

2008 Week One Recap

Posted on September 10, 2008 by Post Mortem

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View the Week One Game Center

View the Week One Automated Recaps at MyFantasyLeague

Panthers TE Rosario Dawson

With myFantasyLeague providing detailed automated writeups, I’m not going to go into to much detail on this week’s performances team-by-team. Some nuggets from the History site:

DDT now leads the all-time series against SIAP, 6-3
SaaBB leads the career matchup with Kramerica, 5-3. However, Kramerica now has all the momentum, winning their last three meetings, including the playoff semi-finals last year.
TKD beat Double D for only the second time, and first since week 2 of the 2006 season
Post Mortem beat CSPJ for the third consecutive time, and leads the series 4-2
Hedfullalicker beat Turd Ferguson for the 5th straight time. Turd’s last win over Hed? Week 11, of the 2003 season.
Winning Beer Money beat The Jedi Masters for the first time since week 7 of the 2004 season, and only the third time in 11 tries.
The Hip now holds a 2-1 career advantage over Camel Toe

Record Watch

With the loss this week, The Jedi Masters all-time best regular season win streak of 12 games came to an end. This was the Jedis first loss since week 2 of last year.
Winning Beer Money became only the 7th team in PFFL history to record 10 career high point weeks
DDT became the 11th team to score 5000 total points in division games. It took 55 division games for them to get there, 3rd fastest in PFFL history behind Post Mortem and The Hip, who accomplished the feat in 54 games.

Week 1 Records (because Joel hates these)

WBM scored the 9th most points in opening week history
The WBM-Jedi and Post Mortem-CSPJ matchups rank as the 4th and 9th highest scoring week 1 games, respectively
Michael Turner’s big day was the 2nd largest point total by a player in week 1 in the player stats era (2004-2007). Willie Parker’s day ranks him 8th on that same list.

Babe of the Week

In honor of her 7 catches, 96 yards and TD this weekend, it’s Rosario Dawson.

(if you haven’t already seen the video and story – go here)

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2008, Recap, Rosario Dawson

Blind Bid Waivers Help

Posted on September 8, 2008 by Post Mortem

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How much would you bid for me?

To help eliminate any confusion over how blind bid waivers work (it’s been a while), be sure to check out this topic in the myFantasyLeague Help Center.

Remember that with conditional blind bidding, you will receive a MAX of ONE player per ’round’ (’rounds’ in blind bidding are just buckets of requests), so if you intend to pick up three players, you will want to make sure to have three ’rounds’ of requests queued up.

There have been a fair number of attractive women appearing on Entourage. Here’s a collection of links to galleries of 44 of them. Pictured here are Emmanuelle Chriqui, who has been on the show for a while, and Monique Alexander, who guested once and is way more naked and porn-ey.

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