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2011 Championship Recap

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Post Mortem

Proving that the third time is indeed the charm, Hedfullalicker is your 2011 PFFL champion.

Thanks everyone for another great season — the FIFTEENTH! Stay tuned for sporadic updates in the next several months regarding PFFL 2012!

Championship Game Highlights

With PFFL MVP Aaron Rodgers (his 31.2 ppg narrowly edges Drew Brees’ 30.2) sitting this one out, Hedfullalicker had a QB decision to make. They went with Dan Orlovsky instead of Rodgers’ backup Matt Flynn. Fortunately for Hed (and unfortunately for Post Mortem), that decision did not decide the outcome of this game.
Leading the way for Hedfull was the Atlanta Defense, who took advantage of a Tampa Bay team that clearly had already given up on the season to record 21 points.
Jimmy Graham also chipped in with 97 yds and a TD
For Post Mortem, Arian Foster being held out was one factor leading to their demise, with Cam Newton’s uncharacteristically low point total chipping in as well.
Gronk tried his best to make up for Foster and Newton though, gaining 108 yards and scoring two touchdowns to cement his status as the top TE in the game
In the end, it basically came down to touchdowns. Hedfullalicker got 4 TDs from his position players and one passing TD from his QB. Post Mortem only had Gronk’s 2 TDs and a single pasing TD from Cam Newton.

Championship Game Records

Matt Flynn’s wasted 47-point performance was the highest point total ever scored by a benched player, in any game (regular season or playoffs), narrowly edging past Darren McFadden’s 46.6 point in week 7 of 2010 for WBM.
Hedfullalicker is now 1-2 in championship games
Post Mortem becomes the second team in PFFL history to lose their first two championship appearances. Hedfull accomplished that feat last year, so maybe Post will be back to win the 2012 title
Hedfullalicker is only the 4th #1 seed to win a championship, joining The Hip (2003), Double D (2005) and The Jedi Masters (2007). In fact, Hedfull is the first #1 seed to win a playoff game since the Jedis in 2007.
This was Hedfullalicker’s 2nd win over Post Mortem this season, their third in a row overall, and they improve to 2-0 vs Post in the playoffs
Hedfullalicker is now tied with Post Mortem with 7 career postseason victories, which is 7th most all-time
Post Mortem, meanwhile, extends their record to 11 career postseason losses, 2 more than Hedfullalicker, SaaBB and SIAP. That record will stand for a few more years now
Hedfullalicker is the 11th franchise to claim a PFFL title
Hedfullalicker’s 100.42 points is the 10th most scored in a Championship game
The combined point total of 183.22 makes this the 5th highest scoring championship in league history
Rob Gronkowski’s 25.8 points are the 6th most points scored by a single player in a PFFL championship during the player stat era

PFFL Championship History

A little recap of the PFFL championship games of years gone by:

1997	Super Bowl I	The Dark Side def. Tappa Kegga Day 101-50	TKD loses by 51 in the innagural PFFL title game
1998	Super Bowl II	Tappa Kegga Day def. Skens Irish Alley Pissers 109-78	TKD returns to the championship and gets it this time, over SIAP
1999	Super Bowl III	The Fighting Lamas def. Cuttysark, 102-80	In its first season, TFL beats CS by 22
2000	Super Bowl IV	Skens Irish Alley Pissers def. Sharp as a Bowling Ball, 134-94	SIAP returns to the Super Bowl, and gets a win this time by scoring more points than any other team in championship history
2001	Super Bowl V	High Life def. Post Mortem, 110-73	The commissioner’s team makes its first-ever appearance in the championship, but loses to freshman team, HL
2002	Super Bowl VI	The Hip def. Duany Duany Tanning, 110-66	TH dominates DDT to win the title for the first time
2003	Super Bowl VII	The Hip def. Double D, 85-71	TH wins a repeat championship over freshman team DD in a low-scoring matchup.
2004	Super Bowl VIII	SIAP def. The Jedi Masters, 96-86.8	SIAP returned to the championship for the first time in four years, and promptly won their 2nd PFFL title, matching The Hip as the only two-time champs.
2005	Super Bowl IX	Double D def. Tappa Kegga Day, 66.68-64.75	In their second championship appearance, Double D claims the crown in the lowest scoring Super Bowl in PFFL history. TKD falls to 1-2 in championship games.
2006	Super Bowl X	Winning Beer Money def. Hedfullalicker, 101.04 – 99.89	This was both the highest scoring and closest championship game in PFFL history. Both teams were appearing in the first Super Bowl.
2007	Super Bowl XI	The Jedi Masters def. Kramerica Industries, 93.11 – 74.77	The most successful season in PFFL history ends appropriately for The Jedi Masters, as they claim their first league title to conclude a 13-1 season.
2008	Super Bowl XII	Tappa Kegga Day def. SIAP, 79.09 – 78.17	In the closest championship game in PFFL history, TKD became the third franchise to win 2 PFFL championships.
2009	Super Bowl XIII	Sharp as a Bowling Ball def. SIAP, 136.45 – 49.55	One year after the closest championship in league history, SaaBB defeats SIAP in the most lopsided PFFL title game of all time.
2010	Super Bowl XIV	Double D def. Hedfullalicker, 104.06 – 78.05	Double D becomes the fourth two-time PFFL champ while Hedfullalicker becomes the first team to lose two championship games without winning one.

Toilet Bowl Update

DDT crushed Turd Ferguson 115.98 – 56.9 to claim their first ever Toilet Bowl title

Championship Recap Babe

Jessica Alba. She’s still got it.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Jessica Alba, Playoffs, Recap

Hedfullalicker wins

Posted on January 2, 2012 by Post Mortem

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Congratulations to Hedfullalicker, the PFFL Super Bowl XV champion.

But, my tight end got the single season TE receiving yards record and yours came in second. So there.

I’ll post some additional historical stuff when I get over the fact that Post Mortem is now the only remaining original franchise without a championship. Feels great to come in 2nd. Totally. *(@#$&@(*#&

Also… final dollar winnings have been tabulated and can be viewed here (“Total Winnings” is the amount of money you currently have in your PFFL balance)

Congratulations to Kramerica, The Hip, TKD, Hedfullalicker and me for making money this year (and to Double D for breaking even).

Please let me know if you would:

like your winnings paid out in full (please specify a method: PayPal, check in the mail, in person)
like to bank your winnings for the 2012 season
a combo of those two choices

If I don’t hear from you, your winnings will be automatically banked.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Playoffs, Recap

2011 Playoff Semi-Final Recap/Championship Preview

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Post Mortem

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It’s championship week in PFFL for the fifteenth time. Yep, FIFTEEN. And this year’s champ will be a first-timer who has been competing in all fifteen of those seasons. Hedfullalicker and Post Mortem are the only two franchises among the six charter league members still active in PFFL without a title. After this week, there will be only one left with an empty trophy case.

Playoff Semi-Final Highlights

Hedfullalicker beat Kramerica by 20 to reach the championship game for the second straight season. This is the second week in a row where ‘licker defeated a team they had also swept in division play. Kramerica has now lost 7 in a row to Hedfullalicker, dating back to 2005.
In the other semi-final, Post Mortem led throughout, then held on while The Hip had half their team playing on Monday night. In the end, Post prevailed, winning by 32. Post Mortem now leads the postseason series with The Hip, 2-1, and overall 10-5.

Playoff Records and Milestones

Post Mortem broke the 1500 postseason points barrier this week, and sits as the 4th highest scoring postseason team, despite a 7-10 playoff record
Post Mortem is making their second championship game appearance. They are 0-1.
Hedfullalicker is making their third championship game appearance. They are 0-2.
Kramerica is the 13th team in PFFL history to lose 5 postseason games

Toilet Bowl Update

DDT beat SaaBB
Turd Ferguson beat Camel Toe
It’s DDT vs Turd Ferguson for the Toilet Bowl title

PFFL Super Bowl XV Preview

Hedfullalicker vs Post Mortem — two original franchises, three previous championship appearances, zero titles
Post Mortem leads the overall series 14-8
Hedfullalicker beat Post in week 6, 89.23 – 71.84, their second straight win over Mortem
These two have met once before in the playoffs, in 2006. In the first round that year, Hedfull won 85.04 – 72.37
It used to be a guarantee that if you lost your first championship game, you would win the next time you made it to the title game. That changed last year when Hedfullalicker became the first team to record an 0-2 record in the championship round.
Only three teams (Hed, TKD and SIAP) have lost more than one championship game. Only SIAP has lost three. Either Hedfullalicker will join SIAP with 3 losses or Post Mortem will join this club with two.

PFFL Babe of the Week

Maria Menounos spent her holiday playing some football on the beach.

Categories: Preview, Recap | Tags: 2011, Maria Menounos, Playoffs, Preview, Recap

2011 Week 15 (Playoff Week 1) Recap

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Post Mortem

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Off the football topic for a bit, it’s Christmas time. I hope all of you have a great Christmas holiday with your family and friends. Travel safe, don’t drink and drive, and spoil your kids (if you don’t have kids of your own, spoil someone else’s).

And… just like that we are down to four teams left to battle for the championship. Three of those teams have never won a title, while The Hip has two on their resume, but they’re from like, way back in the the 2000-zeroes.

Playoff Week 1 Highlights

Top seeded Hedfullalicker easily dispatched of the upset-minded Chain Smoking Patch Junkies. The win gives Hedfull the rare three-game sweep of a team in one season. This is Hedfullalicker’s third first round win ever in the playoffs. In both previous visits to the final four, they have advanced to the championship, only to wind up in 2nd place. CSPJ is now 0-6 in the postseason all-time.
Double D was also attempting to achieve the three-game sweep, but failed, losing to The Hip in one of the week’s two high-scoring matchups. The defending champs will not be getting their repeat as DD lost in the first round for only the third time in their 7 playoff appearances. The Hip advances to the semi-finals for the first time since 2003. They are 2-2 in the 2nd round, and 2-0 when they advance to the title game.
Post Mortem won their second game against SIAP this year, and their first ever in the postseason, knocking out the former two-time champs by just over 2 points. Post Mortem makes it to the semis for the first time since 2007. Mortem is only 1-3 in semi-final games. SIAP is one-and-done for only the fourth time in their 11 playoff appearances.
Kramerica beat Tappa Kegga Day for the second time this year, and the second time in two playoff meetings, in another game with both teams scoring 100+. Kramerica is now 3-4 in postseason play and can move to .500 if they take down the top seed next week. TKD is out in round one for the second straight season, but only the 4th time in their 9 playoff appearances.

Postseason Records and Milestones

The 225.31 points scored by The Hip and Double D are the 10th most scored in a playoff game
Post Mortem’s 2.66 point win over SIAP is the 8th closest playoff game in league history, and the third time that SIAP has lost by less than 3 points in the postseason. SIAP does have the closest win in playoff history though, so it’s not like they can’t win the close ones.
TKD and Double D join the list of teams scoring the most points in a losing postseason effort, coming in at 4 and 7 on that list, respectively.
Hedfullalicker became the fourth team to score 20,000 points in all games (regular season + playoffs)
Double D became the 12th team to record 5 playoff losses
Combined number of postseason wins by the playoff winners this week (including this weeks’ games): 23. Combined number of postseason wins by the playoff losers this week: 34
SIAP joins Hedfullalicker and SaaBB in 2nd on the list of most playoff losses ever, with 9. Post Mortem leads with 10, and would be very happy to be tied with someone at the end of this season.

Semi-Final Preview

Hedfullalicker will try to get a three-game-sweep of another East Division rival in the first semi-final. They beat Kramerica 63.03 – 45.53 in week 8, then won much more handily in week 13, 130.45 – 86.3. Kramerica’s last win over ‘licker came in 2005. Hed has won the last six and leads the all-time series 8-2 and this is their first ever postseason meeting.
The Hip defeated Post Mortem, 113.71 – 68.67, back in week 5. That was their first win over Mortem since 2003 in a series Post leads 9-5. This is their third postseason matchup. The Hip beat PM in round 1 on their way to a championship in 2003. Mortem beat The Hip in 2005 in the first round.

Toilet Bowl Update

Turd Ferguson beat The Jedi Masters by a lot
DDT beat WBM in a game with fewer total points combined than Turd scored alone.
In the Toilet Semis: DDT vs SaaBB and Turd vs Camel

Recap Babe

Melanie Iglesias was the 2010 Maxim Hometown Hottie. Now, she apparently makes flip book style videos and puts them on YouTube, which is cool.

Merry Christmas!

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Melanie Iglesias, Playoffs, Recap

2011 Week 14 Recap

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Post Mortem

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stacy_keibler_naked_ass_book_culo_by_mazzucco

Another regular season has come to a close. The week 14 action was incredibly anti-climactic as all of the teams above the cut line remained made it in, while SaaBB’s last minute bid to spoil things for CSPJ failed. However, there was a lot of movement among the seeds, so we’ll see who benefits most from their seeded opponents in the first round of the postseason. There are a lot of record updates below as well, including a couple that I found shocking (see Gronkowski, Rob).

Week 14 Highlights

For two teams already eliminated from the postseason, Camel Toe vs Winning Beer Money was the week’s highest scoring matchup. Toe prevailed to earn a season split with WBM and even up their all-time matchup at 3-3.
Tappa Kegga Day seems to have shaken off their mid-season slump, securing a third straight win by completing the season sweep of Turd Ferguson. TKD leads this series 11-8.
CSPJ locked up their spot in the post season in a must-win game over a struggling Jedi Master team. This is CSPJ’s 5th straight win in a series they lead 7-4.
Hedfullalicker completed their impressive regular season with a season sweep earning victory over DDT. Hed now leads this matchup 9-7, but has been outscored overall by DDT by 25 points, for whatever that’s worth.
Post Mortem put up 114 points, but couldn’t keep pace with Kramerica’s 128 this week. It’s Kramerica’s second consecutive win over Mortem and they lead this series 5-3.
Double D used a 5-game season-ending win streak to win the Central division title. For SIAP, their depleted RB corps led to a 3-game losing streak and the loss of a division crown that seemed assured in week 10. DD now leads this matchup 8-7.
SaaBB did what they needed to do to get a playoff spot, beating The Hip by 40. However, CSPJ did not comply with their side of the calculation and SaaBB now has to be content with the top seed in the Toilet Bowl. SaaBB now leads this all-time series 11-10 after the season split.

Week 14 Records/Milestones

Winning Beer Money scored 130.8 points this week. And lost. That’s the second highest score ever in a losing effort (behind only the 140 that Hedfullalicker scored in a 2000 loss to Post Mortem)
The Camel Toe – WBM matchup is also the second highest scoring game in league history, totaling 271.78 points
Rob Gronkowski’s 31 point week is the 3rd best single game performance by a TE in the player stats era
The Jacksonville Jaguars Defense/Special Teams’ point total of 34.98 this week is the 7th best game by a defense

Regular Season Records/Milestones

Hedfullalicker’s 12 wins is tied with 4 others for second most in a single season. It is also the highest win total in Hedfullalicker team history
Tappa Kegga Day’s league leading 1483.75 points is good for 8th highest in a single season
Winning Beer Money had 1526.89 points scored against them this season. That is the highest points allowed in PFFL history. Camel Toe’s 1446.09 points allowed comes in 4th on that list.
Double D won their last 5 games of the season en route to a division title. That ties them with 4 other teams for the 4th best finish to a season
Both Winning Beer Money and The Jedi Masters lost their final 5 games, tied for 5th worst season finish
Post Mortem continues to lead all teams in regular season wins, with 122. However, Hedfullalicker has now tied SIAP for 2nd on that list with 113.
The Hip has a commanding lead in most career regular season losses, with 112. SaaBB and Turd are in 2nd with 103.
Double D’s .587 winning percentage in the regular season is tops among active teams, but Post Mortem is only 4 points back at .583
Post Mortem is the only PFFL team above 19000 regular season points, but a bunch of other teams will likely get there next season.
Post Mortem has also reclaimed the even more prestigious (since not all franchises have been around for 15 years) points per game mark. Mortem has averaged 92.0 points per regular season game, just ahead of DDT’s 91.8.
The Jedi Masters continue to be the league leader in division play, with a .577 winning percentage there
Post Mortem also remains atop the high point week leader board with 22.5, with SIAP (20) and Hedfullalicker (19) just behind
Aaron Rodgers scored 407.15 points this season, 2nd only to Tom Brady’s 410.15 in 2007 (only 1 of the top 10 is a RB, Tomlinson’s amazing 2006 campaign)
Drew Brees, Tom Brady and Cam Newton are numbers 5-6-7 on that list
The Baltimore Ravens turned in the 10th best season by a defense ever
Dan Bailey (who has actually been on two teams this year) scored 147.8 points, the best year for a kicker (on a roster) in the stats era. Mason Crosby is 3rd and John Kasay is 9th on the kicker season scoring list
LeSean McCoy was the top RB on the year, and is 9th all-time in RB season scoring with 265.2 points
Rob Gronkowski had a TE season for the ages, scoring 217 points, nearly 47 more than Jimmy Graham, who actually had the 2nd best TE season ever. For comparison, remember that Antonio Gates guy? He has 5 of the top 10 TE seasons in PFFL history. Well… in his best year (2005), he scored 165
Wes Welker (212.1) and Calvin Johnson (198.2) notched the 5th and 6th best WR seasons in the stats era
Drew Brees continues to be the career player scoring leader, but we have a new entrant to the top 20. Aaron Rodgers has scored almost 1400 points, good enough for 17th on the list. Tony Romo, in the 13th spot with 1540 points, is the only other player in the top 17 whose first PFFL season was later than 2004.

PFFL Survivor – Finale

This wasn’t even close. Hedfullalicker beat The Hip 231-ish to 143-ish in their 2 week battle for Survivor. Hed wins $100, Hip gets $40 for making it this far.

Season High Points and High Points Against

Nothing changed in these two races this week. Tappa Kegga Day is the season high points champ, and WBM’s record setting points allowed total gives them the money for high points against. We won’t know the specific amount that WBM wins until January 1 when the final month of interest is applied in the PFFL bank account.

Playoff Preview

#1 seeded Hedfullalicker takes on 8th-seeded CSPJ. This is the first ever postseason meeting between these two clubs, but they have some recent regular season history as they both come from the East division. Hedfullalicker swept the season series with CSPJ, winning in week 2 by only three points, and again in week 9 by 24. Hedfullalicker enters with a 4-9 all-time record in the postseason – a history that includes two championship game losses and 7 first round defeats. CSPJ, meanwhile, is making their sixth playoff appearance (and third in a row), but has never won a game.
#2 seed Double D will battle 7th seed The Hip in a rematch of the 2003 championship game. Another matchup of division rivals from this season, Double D swept the series. In week 1, it was DD by 9 and in week 6, DD came out on top by a margin of 21. In their only other postseason meeting, The Hip won that championship, 85-71. Double D is making their 7th playoff appearance and is 4-2 in the first round. They are also the defending champions. The Hip returns to the postseason for the first time since 2005 (like Double D, they made the postseason 7 of their first 9 seasons. DD probably doesn’t want to match the 5-year drought that came next though) and hasn’t won a playoff game since their championship win over DD in 2003. Both teams are looking to become the first 3-time champion in PFFL history.
#3 seed Post Mortem will battle #5 SIAP in their third all-time playoff meeting. SIAP has won both previous postseason matchups, 116-80 in the 2000 semi-finals and 104.03 – 87.89 in the first round in 2008. These two met once this season, just 3 weeks ago, with Post Mortem coming out on top 87.41-72.09. This is Post’s 6th playoff appearance in the last 7 years, but they haven’t won a first round game since 2007 and are only 5-10 overall in playoff games. SIAP is one of the most successful postseason teams in league history, compiling a 14-8 overall playoff record, including two championships in FIVE championship game appearances. This is SIAP’s fifth straight playoff appearance and second straight #6 seed.
#4 seed Kramerica will take on #5 seed Tappa Kegga Day in the final postseason game. These two teams met in week 7 with Kramerica winning 97.97-78.69 to secure the tiebreaker that handed them the home field advantage in this game. They also have met once before in the playoffs, matching up in the first round of the 2007 playoffs with Kramerica prevailing 110.26 – 83.48. KI is making their 4th playoff appearance in 5 years, but has only won one first round game (against TKD in ’07) on their way to a 2-4 overall postseason record. TKD is in the postseason for the 6th time in 7 years, holds two league championships on the way to an overall 11-6 postseason record, but only has one first round win in their last four playoff appearances.

Some playoff stats:

Post Mortem and SIAP continue to lead the league with 11 playoff appearances, while Hedfullalicker pulls into a 3rd place tie with SaaBB at 10
Double D has made it to the postseason in 7 of their 9 seasons, the best frequency among active teams
Post Mortem is tied with TKD and the Jedi Masters for most division titles, with 5
SIAP is now tied with Hedfullalicker and SaaBB for most wild card appearances, with 7

Toilet Bowl

There are also two Toilet Bowl matchups this week: The Jedis vs Turd and WBM vs DDT.

PFFL Recap Babe

Butts. From top to “bottom”, Chrissy Teigen alone, then laying on a bed with Stacy Keibler and some other woman, followed by Irina Shayk and an ink blot. Then Stacy Keibler in a very artsily post-processed image, followed by Kate Upton looking pretty darn nice in black and white. And finally, Lady Gaga. All of these images are part of the CULO book, available now on Amazon for your last-minute Christmas shopping needs!

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Chrissy Teigen, CULO, Irina Shayk, Kate Upton, Lady Gaga, Playoffs, Recap, Stacy Keibler

2011 Week 13 Recap

Posted on December 7, 2011 by Post Mortem

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While there is a lot of seeding left to be taken care of, the number of open playoff spots has dropped to one, and the number of teams competing for that final spot? Two. Plus, Hedfullalicker has clinched the #1 seed and home field throughout the postseason.

Week 13 Highlights

Turd Ferguson picked up another win, earning a season split with Camel Toe. The win improves Turd’s record to 5-8, which is only 1 game off of the wild card pace, however, a loss earlier this year to CSPJ and a significant points scored disadvantage have eliminated TF from postseason contention. Camel Toe, meanwhile, was making some noise in November, but has dropped three straight to move straight into the Toilet Bowl. Turd leads this all-time matchup 5-3.
Post Mortem extended their winning streak to three games with a season sweep of Winning Beer Money, losers of four in a row. The win also clinches the West Division title for Mortem, who can lock up the #2 seed with a win next week and a SIAP victory over Double D. Despite the two losses this year, WBM still leads this matchup 8-6.
Tappa Kegga Day has its season moving back in the right direction, winning their second straight while handing SaaBB a fourth consecutive loss. At 7-6, TKD has locked up a wild card spot. At 5-8, SaaBB has one last chance to get into the postseason as the #8 seed. They must beat The Hip in week 14 AND CSPJ must lose to the Jedi Masters. This overall series is tied at 9 wins each, but TKD has won the last four.
Duany Duany Tanning won their fourth game of the season, beating a CSPJ team that could have clinched a spot in the playoffs. The win ends a three-game losing streak to CSPJ for DDT, and ties the overall matchup at 5-5. For CSPJ, they are in the playoffs with a win over the Jedi Masters in week 14. If they lose, they can still qualify for the postseason if either SaaBB loses OR both SaaBB and Turd Ferguson win. In the latter scenario, the tiebreaker would be points scored, which CSPJ would win (barring any completely stunning scores in week 14).
Hedfullalicker continued to cruise through the season, improving to 11-2 overall and clinching the #1 seed with a win over Kramerica. Hed swept the season series with Kramerica, and has now beaten them 6 straight times, a streak that started in week 1 of the 2006 season. Despite the loss, Kramerica is still playoff bound.
Double D won their fourth straight game, this week dropping the Jedis to a 4th straight loss, and find themselves in the driver’s seat for the Central division crown. Their week 14 matchup with SIAP is basically a one-game playoff for the division. If DD wins, they get the division and either the #2 or #3 seed (depending on whether Post Mortem loses or coming down to points scored if they are tied with Mortem). The Jedis still lead this series, 7-4.
SIAP locked up a playoff spot two weeks ago, but hasn’t been playing like a playoff team since. This week, they lost to The Hip, splitting their season series and marking the first time SIAP has dropped a division game all season. The good news for SIAP is they can still win their division with a win over DD in week 14. That would give them the #3 seed and hand the #2 spot to Post Mortem (regardless of whether PM wins or loses). The Hip could finish in a three-way tie for the Central division lead if they win and SIAP wins in week 14. However, SIAP would win that 3-team tie by virtue of a superior division record, so The Hip will be a wild card team.

Week 13 Records/Milestones

Hedfullalicker’s 11 wins is currently tied for 6th best in a single season. Hed can move into a tie for 2nd most wins in a season with a victory next week
Hedfullalicker became the first team this year to record 3 high point weeks. They are the 19th team to get 3 HP weeks (or more) in a single season
Tappa Kegga Day became the third team in PFFL history to score 20,000 overall (regular season + playoffs) points, joining Post Mortem and SIAP (who both reached the mark back in week
The Jedi Masters became the 8th team in league history lose 100 overall games (regular + playoffs)
Camel Toe became the 16th PFFL team, and 4th fastest, to lose 25 division games

PFFL Survivor Finals – Part I

With high points this week, Hedfullalicker jumped out to a big lead in the Survivor finale. Current tally:

Hedfullalicker: 130.45
The Hip: 81.4

Season High Point Races

Tappa Kegga Day has been leading the season high points race for most of the year, but Hedfullalicker is closing in. Can Hed overcome TKD’s 38.09 point lead in week 14?
In the points allowed category, Winning Beer Money has a 70.62 point lead over Camel Toe, and should end up taking home the hard luck award

PFFL Recap Babe

Erin Heatherton – born and raised in nearby Skokie, IL. She’s now a Victoria’s Secret model, which means she looks decent in her undies.

Weirdest Touchdown I’ve ever seen

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Erin Heatherton, Recap

2011 Week 12 Recap

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Post Mortem

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Four teams are now officially in the playoffs, and two have been eliminated from contention. It was definitely a separation week as all 6 teams who were outside the playoff picture last week lost. More details on the playoff picture below.

Week 12 Highlights

Camel Toe continues to put up high point totals in losing efforts. This week, they fell victim to Tappa Kegga Day, who finally ended their 6-game losing streak. The win earned TKD a split in the season series and tied their all-time matchup at 4 wins each.
CSPJ won their 3rd straight game of the year to get back to .500. They now lead the all-time series over Turd, 4-3.
The Hip beat Winning Beer Money for the first time since 2007 to improve to 7-5. WBM has lost three in a row and trails The Hip 6-8 all-time.
Post Mortem and SIAP hooked up for the 18th time in league history, and the 5th time in a week 12 affair. With Post Mortem’s win, both teams now sit at 8-4. The career series is knotted up at 9-9, but Mortem leads in week 12, 3-2.
Double D officially eliminated DDT from the playoff chase with a 10 point victory. This is DD’s third straight win over DDT, but Tanning still leads all-time, 6-5.
Hedfullalicker inched closer to the #1 seed with a victory over stumbling SaaBB. Hed has dominated this matchup, leading 10-4 all-time.
Kramerica earned a split in their season series with The Jedi Masters, using Monday night to deliver a crushing 50 point win. Despite the loss, the Jedis still lead this matchup 8-6

Week 12 Records/Milestones

Following their win this week, TKD’s 6-game losing streak will remain tied for 5th longest in a season
Despite a disappointing season, DDT became the 10th team in PFFL history to score 15,000 overall (incl playoffs) points. They also matched Post Mortem as the fastest two teams to hit the milestone, needing only 164 games.
Camel Toe is now the 2nd fastest team to record 50 regular season losses. It took Camel 82 games to reach the mark, trailing only Kramerica’s swift 80 game pace.
Kramerica recorded their 9th high point week ever, tied for 11th most in league history
This was Kramerica’s 2nd high point week this season, making it 5 teams who have 2 high point weeks this year. I don’t know if that’s a record or anything, but it’s kinda cool.

PFFL Survivor – Week 12

Several years ago, SIAP suggested that we do away with immunity in Survivor when we reach the Final Four. This year, SIAP would’ve won immunity last week. Instead, they are the final team eliminated before the money round. Now, it’s a two week battle between Hedfullalicker and The Hip. Winner gets $100, runner-up goes home with $40.

Question: Do you guys still like the Survivor competition? Does anyone even know it still exists? Should we tweak the format at all? Comments/suggestions are welcome. One idea I have thought of is to use the show’s lame Redemption Island concept. Here, it would mean that after elimination, you’d have another chance to get back into the game by beating the high score of the next eliminated team. Kind of a double elimination format, with lots of work necessary to finalize the rules. But… it might keep a few more people interested as the season goes along.

Eliminated: SIAP

FINALS: Hedfullalicker vs The Hip

Playoff Picture

In the EAST: Hedfullalicker has won the division
In the WEST: Post Mortem’s magic number for the division title is 1. A win in either week 13 or 14, or a TKD loss in either of those weeks and this division race is over. If TKD wins out and Post Mortem loses out, this would go down to a points tiebreak, which TKD would likely win.
In the Central: The Hip can’t win the division, but they can play spoiler. I’m pretty sure SIAP can win the division this week if they win and Double D loses.
IN THE PLAYOFFS: Hedfullalicker, Post Mortem, SIAP, Double D
OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS: DDT
IN WITH A WIN + A SAABB LOSS IN WEEK 13: The Hip, Kramerica Industries, Tappa Kegga Day (who plays SaaBB), CSPJ
IN WITH TWO WINS: Sharp as a Bowling Ball. SaaBB really really really needs to beat TKD this week. If they do so, their postseason prospects get a lot brighter since they would own a tiebreaker advantage over both TKD and CSPJ
OUT WITH A LOSS (and might be out already, since they all need help): The Jedi Masters, Winning Beer Money, Camel Toe, Turd Ferguson

PFFL Babe of the Week

Yes, I know Candice Swanepoel has been featured already this season. Are you complaining? The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is on TV tonight. According to my wife, this is actually something that she would watch, which is one of those weird gender things. I mean, there is a -1000% chance that I would watch an hour of dudes walking down a run way in their boxers. But, a bunch of ridiculously hot women in crazily expensive skimpy lingerie (and wings!) is something females get excited about. I’m sure Walker will watch because Maroon 5 is on.

Anyway, this is how Candice Swanepoel stays in shape.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Candice Swanepoel, Recap

2011 Week 11 Recap

Posted on November 22, 2011 by Post Mortem

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I’m going to be getting up very early in the morning to drive to Michigan (where the whole family setting would make it way more awkward to download pictures of celebrities in bikinis), so this might be a little on the shorter than normal side.

Also, here’s wishing all of you (yep, even you Tim) a happy and safe Thanksgiving. I hope it’s filled with family, food, drink, and a Packer win.

Week 11 Highlights

DDT improved to 3-8 with a 30 point win over Camel Toe. DDT is 4-1 all-time against Toe and has won three straight.
Turd Ferguson has another 2-game win streak going, following an ugly, but close win over Winning Beer Money. This was like LSU-Alabama, but with worse teams. These two split their season series, but WBM leads overall 15-3, as Turd gets their first win over WBM since 2008. It’s also only Turd’s second victory over WBM in the 2000′s.
Post Mortem recovered from last week’s loss to beat Tappa Kegga Day, earning a season split in their division series and opening up a 2-game lead in the division. This was TKD’s 6th straight loss on the season.
CSPJ earned a season series split with Kramerica (losers of 4 straight) to improve to 5-6 on the year. CSPJ leads this all-time series 6-5.
In a close one, Double D prevailed over SaaBB by 4 points to earn a division series split on the year. DD now leads the career matchup 5-4.
SIAP won their 4th straight and handed bye-stricken Hedfullalicker only their second loss of the season. This could be important in the race for the #1 seed. SIAP has beaten Hed 4 straight times for a 7-3 all-time advantage. Hed’s last win over SIAP? 2001.
The Hip beat The Jedi Masters for the second straight year to take a 7-6 all-time lead in their series.

Week 11 Records and Milestones

Hedfullalicker’s win streak ends at 9 games, tied for 5th longest ever
Tappa Kegga Day’s 6-game losing streak is tied for the 5th longest run of futility in a single season.
Camel Toe lost their 50th overall game (including playoffs). It took them 83 games to hit this dubious milestone, second faster behind Kramerica’s 80.
Winning Beer Money became only the 7th team in league history to lose 100 overall (including playoffs) games. It took 205 games. Not bad.
Sharp as a Bowling Ball became only the 5th team ever to lose 50 division games
Post Mortem extended their league record for most high point weeks to 22.5

PFFL Survivor – Week 11

Camel Toe’s 73.52 effort was their worst scoring performance of the season, and the worst of the final 4 teams in Survivor. They are out. Only three teams remain, with no immunity to save anyone. The team eliminated in week 12 gets $0.00 — the same amount that Post Mortem gets, and they were eliminated in week 1.

Eliminated: Camel Toe

Final Three: SIAP, The Hip, Hedfullalicker

Playoff Math

Hedfullalicker cliniched a playoff spot last week. This week, they clinched their division.
SIAP will be joining Jeff in the postseason. They clinched a spot this week.
SIAP’s magic number to win the Central division is 3
Post Mortem’s magic number to win the West division is 2
Tappa Kegga Day once had a commanding lead in the season high points race. That lead has shrunk. Hedfullalicker trails TKD by 17.79
In the High Points Allowed category, WBM leads by 43.16 over CSPJ. SIAP, on the other hand, is playing some great defense.

PFFL Recap Babe

Candice Swanepoel in some ads for some clothes or something. Or for not wearing clothes. Whatever. She’s pretty.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Candice Swanepoel, Recap

2011 Week 10 Recap

Posted on November 18, 2011 by Post Mortem

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10 weeks in the books, 4 more to go, and we have our first playoff qualifier. Congratulations to Hedfullalicker, who are guaranteed a spot in the postseason and can now focus on locking up their division and a home field advantage.

Week 10 Highlights

Post Mortem screwed up their TE position this week and missed a golden opportunity to gain some separation in the West Division race. Instead, it was Camel Toe earning the season series split and getting back into the playoff hunt. Toe now leads this series 4-3.
Turd Ferguson picked up their third win of the year to stay alive in the playoff race, while The Jedi Master fell to 4-6. Turd has a 6-5 all-time advantage in this matchup, but hadn’t beaten the Jedis since 2004.
CSPJ erupted for over 140 points this week to dominate Winning Beer Money. It’s CSPJ’s second straight win over WBM, but Money still leads overall 5-4-1
Double D beat Tappa Kegga Day for the first time since 2007, dealing TKD a fifth straight loss on the season. DD leads the series 8-4.
Duany Duany Tanning upset Kramerica to earn a split of their season series and tie up the all-time matchup at 6 wins each.
Hedfullalicker is simply unstoppable, winning their 9th in a row to lock up a postseason berth. The Hip, meanwhile, fall to .500 on the season, which is also their winning percentage in this career matchup which is tied at 10 wins each.
SIAP remains perfect in Central Division play following the completion of a season sweep of SaaBB. SIAP continues to lead the Central by one game, while this all-time matchup is now tied 10-10

Week 10 Records and Milestones

Hedfullalicker’s current 9-game win streak is tied for the 5th longest victory run ever
Sharp as a Bowling Ball became the third team in PFFL history to lose 100 regular season games
By clinching a postseason berth, Hedfullalicker is the fourth team in PFFL history to make 10 playoff appearances
Hedfullalicker has now made the playoffs in two straight seasons. This is the first consecutive season streak of playoff appearances for Hed since they qualified in each of the league’s first four seasons

PFFL Survivor – Week 10

Not only has Tappa Kegga Day lost five straight games, but their 75.49 points this week was just a couple points lower than The Hip and TKD is eliminated from Survivor. We’re down to the Final Four. Two more will be eliminated (remember, no more immunity to save anyone) before the two week finale.

Immunity: NONE
Eliminated: Tappa Kegga Day

Still Alive: Camel Toe, Hedfullalicker, SIAP, The Hip

More Math

As mentioned several other times in this article, the first playoff spot has been claimed by Hedfullalicker
Hedfullalicker’s magic number for a division title is 2. A victory this week combined with a Kramerica loss will clinch the East Division
CSPJ and The Jedi Masters have joined DDT in being eliminated from division title contention
Post Mortem vs Tappa Kegga Day this week could very well be the deciding game in the West Division battle

PFFL Babe of the Week

Stacy Kiebler, who is George Clooney’s new “love,” looking as hot as she did back in her wrestling days.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Recap, Stacy-Kiebler

2011 Week 9 Recap

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Post Mortem

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Hedfullalicker continued to dominate, the Central division is so competitive that all four teams would be in the playoffs if the season ended today, and there’s a new leader in the West.

Deadline Reminders

I mentioned this last week, but I’ll repeat. Waivers will run at 10 pm on Wednesday nights, starting on November 9th. (That’s Today, people) This goes through the end of the season.

First Come First Serve waivers will be in effect from 10:30 pm on Wednesday nights all the way until Noon on Sunday. (Except Christmas weekend when most teams are playing on Saturday the 24th — waivers will stop at noon that day). Players playing in Thursday (or Saturday as the case me be) night games are not allowed to be added or dropped following the start of their games.

Also, the Trade Deadline is 7:20 pm (start of the Thursday night game) on Thursday, November 17th.

Week 9 Highlights

Camel Toe improved to 3-6 on the season and handed Double D their third consecutive loss. The regular season series between these two is now tied at 2 wins each.
Post Mortem won their third straight game and completed a season sweep of Turd Ferguson, who drops to 0-5 in division play. Mortem has won 12 of the 20 meetings with Turd. This is also the second time this season that a team scored fewer than 40 points against Post Mortem. DE-FENSE!
Tappa Kegga Day lost for the fourth straight week, this time to surging Winning Beer Money, who earned a split of the season series. TKD still leads this matchup all-time 11-9.
Hedfullalicker continues to roll, completing a season sweep of CSPJ in a high-scoring affair. Hed leads this series 8-5.
The Jedi Masters earned a season split with DDT (whose only victory this season came against the Jedis in week 4) and improved to 4-5. This is the Jedis first win over DDT since 2006, ending a 4-game skid. The matchup is all tied up at 6 wins per team.
SaaBB improved to 5-4 and dropped Kramerica to 6-3 on the year. SaaBB has beaten KI two straight times and leads the series 9-6
In a critical matchup in the Central, SIAP beat The Hip by 10 to improve to 6-4, while The Hip fell to 5-4 (and only 1-3 in division play). SIAP leads the overall matchup 12-6

Week 9 Records/Milestones

Hedfullalicker’s 8-game win streak is tied for the 9th longest overall win streak in league history. They can move into a tie for 5th with another win next week. The streak is tied for 7th within a single season.
Hedfullalicker’s 18th career high point week puts them alone in third on that list, behind only Post Mortem and SIAP
Hedfullalicker also joins Tappa Kegga Day as the only teams with two high point weeks this season

PFFL Survivor – Week 9

The race for immunity this week was not even close. Hedfullalicker earned league high points and was the only team still alive in Survivor to cross the century mark. Meanwhile, DDT’s luck finally ran out. Despite owning the worst record in the league, DDT was never at risk of Survivor elimination until this week. As a consolation, their 71.21 points is the second highest point total to earn Survivor elimination all year.

Now that we are down to five teams remaining, there will be no more immunity. Hedfullalicker’s immunity this week guarantees them a spot in the Final Four. But everyone else is at risk next week.

Immunity: Hedfullalicker
Eliminated: Duany Duany Tanning

Still Alive: Hedfullalicker, Camel Toe, SIAP, Tappa Kegga Day, The Hip

Math

There are 5 more weeks in the regular season. Because of that, a few things are now certain:

DDT has been eliminated from East Division contention
CSPJ cannot win the East in a two-way tie with Hedfullalicker, but there could possibly be some multi-team scenario that they could win. I’m not gonna figure that out now. In any event, CSPJ’s only division title chance involves winning 5 in a row while Hed loses 5. Good luck with that.
DDT is also currently 4 games behind the wild card chase. One more loss and they are officially out of the playoff hunt altogether.
Hedfullalicker, meanwhile, has a 4 game advantage over the first team out right now. That means their magic number is 2. If Hed beats The Hip in week 10, and the Jedis and WBM both lose, Hed is the first team to clinch a playoff berth.
Oh… and the Central Division? NOTHING is settled there. SIAP controls their own fate. That’s it.

PFFL Babes of the Week

Sports Illustrated will have a calendar this year. This is probably not the one that will be on the wall in my kitchen. That one always tends to have flowers on it or something.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Brooklyn Decker, Genevieve Morton, Hillary Rhoda, Irina Shayk, Julie Henderson, Kate Upton, Recap, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar

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