View the Week 17 Game Center

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Championship Result

• #3 seeded Tappa Kegga Day beat #8 seed SIAP, 79.09 – 78.17. SIAP set the perfect lineup, but their second highest scoring player was their backup QB and they received subpar performances from several players who had helped them get to this point. Brandon Jabobs’ injury didn’t help either. TKD was led by Marques Colston and Jason Campbell, and was able to pull off the win despite leaving a bunch of points on the bench. The all-time series between these two clubs is now tied at 8 wins each, but TKD holds a 2-0 advantage in the postseason (both championship games), which is where it really counts. This is also the first time since 1998 that the winning team didn’t score 80 points. SIAP is now 12-6 in the postseason, including 2-2 in championship games. Similarly, TKD is 11-5 in the playoffs and an identical 2-2 in championships.

Championship Record Watch

• With a 0.92 point victory margin, this was the closest Super Bowl in league history. It’s worth noting that the 6 closest championships have occurred in the last 6 years, and this is the 3rd time in 4 years that the big game was decided by fewer than 2 points.
• Matt Schaub’s 27.4 point performance is the 3rd highest individual player performance in a Super Bowl in the player stats era (2004-present)
• The combined point total of 157.26 makes this the fourth lowest scoring championship game ever.
• SIAP’s 78.17 and TKD’s 79.09 are the 9th and 10th lowest point totals in championship history, respectively.
• TKD now has 11 postseason wins, one behind SIAP’s record 12.
• TKD’s .688 playoff winning percentage is 4th best overall and tops among active teams. SIAP is right behind, at .667.
• TKD joins SIAP and The Hip as the only three franchises in PFFL history to win two championships. And yeah… those three teams have won half of the 12 championships to-date.
• TKD won its 100th overall (regular season + playoffs) this week and is the third team to do so.

Toilet Bowl Result

• The Jedi Masters captured their first ever Toilet Bowl championship, beating The Hip.

Franchise Ratings

View the Franchise Ratings

• Only twice before had a team reached a perfect 100.0 (the max) on the franchise rating scale. SIAP was the first to hit the mark following their championship season in 2004 and The Jedi Masters hit the mark last year. Well, four teams are rated perfectly today. TKD’s championship run, Post Mortem’s winning season, The Jedi Masters’ high points mark and SIAP’s second place finish (combined with their strong ratings to-date) rank all four as the most valuable franchises in the league.
• DDT surpassed Double D as the fifth most highly rated team in the league — both are four star franchises
• SaaBB’s division championship added a full star to their rating, while The Hip basically held steady and Winning Beer Money lost a half star.
• Hedfullalicker had a great season and is certainly a team on the upswing value-wise, but their lack of playoff success has them right in the middle with 2.5 stars.
• Turd Ferguson and Kramerica Industries both gained a half star, giving their stockholders reason to be optomistic.
• At the bottom, Camel Toe and CSPJ both achieved the lowest possible scores and are zero-star franchises.

Championship Recap Babe

Doutzen Kroes is a Victoria’s Secret model from the Netherlands, meaning she’s not shy about showing off her naught bits.

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View the Week 16 Game Center

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Semifinal Results

• (8) SIAP 129.54 def (5) Turd Ferguson 104.83 > SIAP continued its impressive postseason, with 7 of 8 players in double digits this week. It all started with Jones-Drew and Wayne on Thursday night, continued with Jacobs’ 3 TDs on Sunday night and concluded with a two turnover/one block Monday night performance from the Bears’ D. For Turd Ferguson, they played like the game was over after Thursday when Garrard and Dallas Clark staked them to an early lead. With Bowe, Andre Johnson and AP all coming up small, however, Turd’s chance at a championship appearance vanished. SIAP now has a 3-game win streak against Turd, and leads the overall series, 10-6.
• (3) Tappa Kegga Day 91.53 def (2) Sharp as a Bowling Ball 53.78 > For the second straight week, TKD stayed alive largely due to a fortunate matchup, although at least the winning score this week was a little more respectable. TKD had Joseph Addai in the lineup on Thursday, and his gooseegg certainly wasn’t a good start, but solid, double digit performances from 6 of his 7 other players on Sunday made up for the rough start. Meanwhile, SaaBB was in trouble from the moment that Anquan Boldin was announced as “out” and got worse when Kurt Warner was completely ineffective in the snow and subsequently benched. Those two players had single-handedly gotten SaaBB to this point, so missing even a “good” performance from each of them spelled disaster. TKD’s win was a mark of revenge for a loss 3 weeks ago during the regular season. SaaBB still holds the overall series advantage at 9-6, but TKD has a 2-0 record over SaaBB in the playoffs.

Playoff Record Watch

• SIAP’s current record of 12 postseason wins is safe at least until the 2009 playoffs. TKD is second on the list with 10.
• SaaBB ties Post Mortem’s mark of 9 postseason losses (the result of similar playoff success — 9 of 12 years in the postseason, 0 championships)
• Both SIAP and TKD will be making their fourth championship game appearance, a league record given that no other team has made it more than twice.
• Turd Ferguson became only the 7th team in PFFL history to accumulate 1000 postseason points
• SIAP’s 129.54 point performance is the 9th highest score in postseason history
• SaaBB’s 53.78 point output is the 8th lowest score in the PFFL playoffs
• After participating in a postseason record-setting performance for combined high points last week, Turd Ferguson is on the list again in 4th place this week, as the SIAP-Turd battle totaled 234.37 points
• Turd’s 104.83 points is the 5th highest score in a losing postseason effort
• Turd’s 123.17 points-per-game average in the 2008 postseason is the 4th highest average score in PFFL playoff history

Toilet Bowl Results

• The Jedi Masters beat Double D for their first ever Toilet Bowl win
• The Hip beat Winning Beer Money and now owns a 6-1 Toilet Bowl record

Playoff Recap Babe

Kristen Bell might be only like 4′ 5″ but she’s mighty cute. And she wishes good luck to both of this week’s semifinal winners.

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Playoff Week 1 Results

• (8) SIAP took out (1) Post Mortem and is now 2-0 against PM in the postseason. This also continued a trend started in 2005. In the last six meetings between these clubs, the winner has alternated from the previous meeting. SIAP now leads the all-time series, 8-7. Post Mortem now has a 5-9 postseason record, including 5 first round eliminations. SIAP improves to 11-5 in playoff action, including an impressive 6-2 in round 1.
• (2) SaaBB held on to defeat (7) Kramerica Industries, ending a 3-game KI win streak in their all-time series, which SaaBB now leads, 6-3. Kramerica is 2-3 all-time in the postseason, while SaaBB is now 9-8, with only one first-round loss in 9 postseason appearances.
• (3) Tappa Kegga Day beat (6) DDT in a low-scoring affair. Of the eight playoff teams, these two teams had the lowest scores this week. Seeds matter. This was TKD’s second straight win over DDT after a loss back in week 6, but DDT still leads the overall matchup, 7-5. The postseason series is knotted up at 1-1. DDT is 4-6 in the playoffs, including 3-3 in the first round. TKD improves to 9-5 in the playoffs and is in the second round for the first time since 2005.
• (5) Turd Ferguson upset (4) Hedfullalicker in the highest-scoring matchup of the week. In fact, this game had the two highest scoring teams of the 8 playoff qualifiers. Again, seeds matter. After a week 1 loss, Turd has now won two straight against Hedfull, and the overall series is now tied, 7-7. Hedfullalicker is now a dismal 2-8 in the playoffs, including first round elimination in seven of his eight postseason appearances. Turd improves to 5-6 in the postseason, including a 4-3 record in round 1.

Playoff Record Watch

• SIAP’s 11th playoff win extends their record number of playoff wins. SaaBB and TKD are now tied for 2nd with 9 wins each.
• Post Mortem now has more playoff losses than any other team in PFFL history, with 9. SaaBB needs a championship run to avoid tying that mark this year, while Hedfullalicker is comfortably in 2nd place with 8.
• Turd Ferguson’s 141.51 point output this week is the 6th highest in postseason history.
• The matchup between Turd and Hedfullalicker set a new postseason mark for most combined points, with 254.72.
• The TKD-DDT total score of 140.42 is the 10th lowest ever in a playoff game.
• TKD’s 76.15 points are the 6th lowest in a playoff win
• Hedfullalicker’s 113.21 is the 2nd highest score in a playoff loss

Toilet Bowl

• Double D beat CSPJ by 0.36 points to advance to the semi-finals against The Jedi Masters
• Winning Beer Money beat Camel Toe by almost 15 to advance to play The Hip

Playoff Recap Babe

Meet Tamara Witmer, Playboy centerfold and fan of the postseason.

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View the Week 14 Game Center

View the Automated Week 14 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 14 Highlights

• DDT prevented Kramerica from winning the East division, ending a three-game losing streak to KI and earning a season split of their divisional series. DDT leads the career matchup, 5-4.
• SIAP earned the split in the season series with TKD, a win which also moved them into the playoffs, ended a three-game losing streak to the Keggers and gives them a one-game lead in the all-time series, 8-7.
• For the second straight year, Camel Toe beat Post Mortem to end the regular season. Of course, this win is only by 0.51 point, and we’ve seen how that can come back to haunt Camel before. CT leads this series, 2-1.
• Hedfullalicker ended The Hip’s postseason hopes by earning a season sweep and cutting into The Hip’s overall series lead, which now stands at 9-7.
• Turd Ferguson erased any possibility of getting locked out of the postseason with a win over Double D. Turd has won 5 of the last 6 meetings with DD and leads all-time, 7-2.
• The Jedi Masters earned high points for the week, but didn’t get the SIAP loss they needed to make the playoffs. Their season sweep earning win over CSPJ does give them a 4-2 all-time matchup lead, however. So, there’s that.
• SaaBB beat Winning Beer Money to earn a season sweep and an 11-3 record on the year. This is their 3rd straight win over WBM and moves SaaBB into a 6-5-1 series advantage.

PFFL Survivor

CSPJ recovered from their pitiful week 13 performance to put up over 100 points this week. It wasn’t enough to catch SaaBB, however, as the Bowling Ballers win Survivor 2008, 187.51 – 155.69.

SaaBB gets $100 for the win, while CSPJ gets $40 for making it this far.

View the final Survivor Standings

Postseason Qualifiers

1. West Division Champ: Post Mortem — earns the #1 seed based on a head-to-head win over SaaBB

2. Central Division Champ: Sharp as a Bowling Ball

3. East Division Champ: Tappa Kegga Day — wins a three-way tiebreak with DDT and Kramerica due to a 3-1 head-to-head record within this group (DDT was 2-2, KI was 1-3)

Wild Cards:

4. Hedfullalicker — at 9-5, the third best record in the league

5. Turd Ferguson — DDT is the higher ranked team in the East due to a better division record than Kramerica, so this came down to Turd vs DDT. The two did not play each other this season, so the next criteria was total points, which Turd wins by just under 7.

6. Duany Duany Tanning — beating Kramerica based on better division record

7. Kramerica Industries — best remaining record

8. SIAP — at 7-7, the best remaining record

Single Game Record Watch

• For the second time this season, Camel Toe was involved in a game that makes the list of top 10 closest games in PFFL history. Last time, it started out as the closest, then flipped to 4th closest after a stat change gave DD the win. This week, Camel beat Post Mortem by .51 points (pending another change) in the 7th closest game ever.

Season Record Watch

• Post Mortem and SaaBB join 8 other teams in a tie for 4th best regular season record with 11 wins.
• Camel Toe’s 11 losses ranks them with 10 other teams in 3rd on the most losses in a season list.
• The Jedi Masters’ season point total of 1438.61 is the 8th best season total in league history. This is the second consecutive season that has seen the Jedis score the most points in the league.
• Camel Toe’s 950.28 point total is the 9th lowest all-time and the fewest points scored in a season since Hedfullalicker’s 938 in 2001.
• As mentioned last week, Post Mortem and SIAP both finished the year with 5-1 non-division records, tied with a slew of other teams for 7th best non-division performance.
• The Jedi Masters’ 3rd high point week of the season ties them for 10th most HP weeks in a season with 6 other teams. It is also the most HP weeks by one team in a season since TKD had 4 in 2006.
• Hedfullalicker and SaaBB both closed the regular season with 4-game win streaks. That is tied for 8th most wins to end a season with 5 other franchises.

Career Performance Record Watch

• Post Mortem ended the season with 97 career regular season wins, 7 ahead of SIAP, who sits in 2nd with 90.
• The Hip has 87 career regular season losses, also 7 ahead of their nearest competitor, SaaBB, who has 80.
• Post Mortem gained ground this year on High Life’s 2-season career winning pct mark of .589. At .580, this difficult-to-beat record is becoming a possibility.
• Post Mortem leads the all-time regular season scoring list with 15,446.22 career points. The Hip remains in second place with 14,911.16 but is being pressured by Hedfullalicker’s 14,861.29.
• Post Mortem also has a 1-point lead in the regular season Points Per Game category, with 91.9, one better than DDT’s 90.9 and The Jedi Masters’ 90.7 per game averages.
• The Jedi Masters have a .585 winning percentage in division games, slightly better than DDT’s .581
• Post Mortem and SIAP are the only teams in PFFL history to have recorded 50 division wins
• Hedfullalicker has lost the most division games, with 45.
• Despite recording none this year, Post Mortem still has the most high point weeks in PFFL history, with 18.5

Postseason Record Watch

• Post Mortem and SaaBB are each making their league-leading 9th playoff appearance
• Hedfullalicker and SIAP are next in line, making their 8th visit to the postseason, while TKD and Turd are in for the 7th time and DDT makes it for the 6th.
• In terms of frequency, other than the two teams that made the playoffs in the only season in the league, DDT (6/8), Post Mortem (9/12) and SaaBB (9/12) have the best appearance frequency at 75%.
• Tappa Kegga Day won their 4th division title, good for second most in league history to TJM’s 5. For Post Mortem and SaaBB, it was their 3rd division crown each.
• Hedfullalicker and Turd are tied for the league lead in wild card appearances with 6.
• Post Mortem and TKD are in the postseason for the fourth consecutive season, the longest active streaks in the league.

Milestone Watch

A recap of Milestones reached in 2008:

• DDT scored their 10,000th regular season point in week 13, tying Post Mortem as the fastest teams to that mark
• Post Mortem scored its 15,000th regular season point in week 9, after 163 regular season matchups.
• In week 2, DDT scored their 10,000th point overall (including regular season and playoffs), the fastest team ever to this mark.
• DDT recorded their 5,000th division point in week 1
• DDT achieved their 50th win overall (regular + post- season) in week 3, fastest to this mark.
• Two teams recorded their 100th win overall (regular + post-season). Post Mortem did it in week 9, and SIAP hit this milestone in week 14.
• Post Mortem and SIAP also became the first teams to record 50 division wins, in weeks 11 and 14, respectively.
• CSPJ’s week 14 loss was their 50th overall PFFL loss (regular + post-season), making them the second fastest team to this milestone, behind Kramerica. In comparison, DDT hit this mark in week 5, after 112 games — 25 more than CSPJ took.
• In week 8, DDT suffered its 25th division loss, taking the second longest time to hit the mark.
• TKD’s 95-point victory over DDT in week 12 is only the 5th 90+ point win in PFFL history

Individual Team Record Watch

• Camel Toe’s 3-11 record continues a trend where they lose 2 more games with each new year (7 losses in 2006, 9 in 2007, 11 in ‘08). I’m really not sure what’s going to happen in 2010.
• CSPJ finished below .500 for the third straight year, and has now won 12 games in the last three seasons, combined.
• Double D finished with the worst season record in franchise history, ending a streak of three consecutive postseason-making years.
• DDT has finished 8-6 for the third time in the last three even numbered years.
• Since 2000, Hedfullalicker is 5-for-5 in postseason qualifying in even years, but 0-4 in odd years. This season was the most points scored in Hedfullalicker franchise history, as well as the most points allowed.
• For Kramerica, history shows that scoring more than 1200 points in a season gets them into the playoffs. Anything less? Toilet Bowl time.
• Post Mortem has made the playoffs four straight years, and 8 of the last 9. This club has never finished the season with fewer than 6 wins. This year’s 1340 points is the third highest point total in franchise history, and the division title this season is the third in team history, all in the West.
• SaaBB’s 11-3 record is the best in team history, as is their 1378.92 point total. This is the team’s 3rd division title (2nd in the Central with a West crown thrown in for good measure), and the 2nd seed matches their best ever playoff seeding.
• This is SIAP’s first ever 8-seed in the postseason. The 7-7 record this year is very similar to 2002’s team performance. Points Scored: 1269.57 (2008) – 1258 (2002), Points Against: 1286.14 (2008) – 1295 (2002). The lone difference? In 2002, that record wasn’t good enough to make the playoffs.
• TKD now has a .500 or better record in four straight seasons, and their 3rd East Divison title (plus one in the Central). This is the second time that TKD is seeded 3rd in the playoffs. They reached the championship game and lost last time, in 2005.
• The Hip has not finished with at or above .500 since 2005, and that has continued a playoff drought for one of the most successful franchises in PFFL’s first decade.
• The Jedi Masters miss out on postseason action after advancing in the last four seasons. On the bright side, this season was the 2nd highest scoring in club history.
• Turd Ferguson rebounded from a brutal 2007 to return to the playoffs with an identical-to-2006 seed of 5. This is the 5th winning season in Turd’s 11-year franchise history.
• Winning Beer Money struggled to the worst record in franchise history, including their 2nd lowest point output ever (second only to the 5-8-1 WBM team of 2001).

Season High Points

Congratulations to The Jedi Masters who locked up the highest point total in the league.

1. The Jedi Masters – 1438.61
2. Hedfullalicker – 1397.72
3. SaaBB – 1378.92
4. Post Mortem – 1340.98

Season High Points Against

Thanks to The Hip’s DeAngelo Williams, Hedfullalicker claimed the hard luck title with the most points scored against. Of course, it’s not really hard luck when you make the playoffs as the top wild card.

1. Hedfullalicker – 1357.14
2. The Jedi Masters – 1332.48
3. CSPJ – 1325.68

Recap Babe

Jessica Alba, post-pregnancy, in a photoshoot for Campari, which I had never heard of before. According to Wikipedia, Campari is an alcoholic (alcohol 20.5%, 21%, 25% and even 28% depending on which country it is purchased) aperitif obtained from the infusion of sixty ingredients, combined and macerated in a blend of distilled water and alcohol. Campari is a type of bitters.

Whatever, all I know is that Jessica looks fantastic.

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View the Week 13 Game Center

View the Automated Week 13 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 13 Highlights

• DDT now leads SIAP 7-3 all-time after completing the season division sweep.
• Double D owns a 7-2 advantage over Kramerica after splitting their season series.
• SaaBB locked up the #2 seed in the playoffs with a win over TKD, extending their series lead to 9-5.
• Hedfullalicker handed Post Mortem its first division loss of the season, earning a season split in their matchup and eating into PM’s overall matchup lead of 12-6.
• The Hip earned a season split of its division series with Turd Ferguson but still trails the all-time matchup 8-5.
• The Jedi Masters continued their dominance over Camel Toe, winning their third meeting in three tries. In those three games, they have outscored CT, 385.31-200.06.
• WBM beat CSPJ in a squeaker, securing a season series split, and extending their career series lead to 5-2-1, but knocking both teams out of the playoffs.

PFFL Survivor

Sharp as a Bowling Ball took a huge lead in the Survivor finale. They now lead CSPJ, 103.25 – 51.35.

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East:This division race has become much simpler. If Tappa Kegga Day wins in week 14, the division is theirs. If TKD loses, and Kramerica wins, then Kramerica wins the division in the last week of the season for the second straight year. If TKD loses and Kramerica loses to DDT, the division crown still belongs to TKD based on a tiebreaker advantage over KI and DDT in that three-way scenario.

Central: Sharp as a Bowling Ball has won the division

West: Post Mortem has won the division

Wild Card: Things are interesting here, and I could be wrong, but here’s what I’m pretty sure of:

In with a win: DDT and Turd Ferguson. 8 wins gets you mathematically in in 2008.

MUST win and get help: The Jedi Masters. The Jedis have one scenario that gets them into the postseason: Jedis beat CSPJ, SIAP loses to TKD and The Hip loses to Hedfullalicker. This would create a three-way tie between TJM, The Hip and SIAP. Since they did not all face each other, it would come down to total points, where the Jedis have a huge advantage. A win by either The Hip or SIAP and the Jedis are toast.

Probably in, but should focus on winning to avoid this scenario: Duany Duany Tanning. DDT has one scenario which would put them in a tiebreaker situation that they could lose. If DDT loses, Turd loses, and SIAP and The Hip both win, all four of those teams would be 7-7. DDT would lead SIAP based on a season sweep, but in the next step, vs The Hip and Turd, The Hip would likely move into the playoffs on points, and Turd currently leads DDT by 9 points. If DDT can make up that 9 this week, they would get in in this scenario, if not, The Hip and Turd would be in. This scenario is obviously pretty bad for SIAP too.

Another team probably in, but is better off just winning: Turd Ferguson. In addition to potentially being involved in that tiebreaker with DDT, a Turd loss combined with wins by The Hip and SIAP would create a three-way tie even if DDT wins their game. In this three-way tie, Turd vs The Hip in the West would come to points, and Turd currently trails The Hip by 32. If they don’t make that up, either The Hip or SIAP gets the final spot (SIAP leads The Hip by 28)

If one wins and the other loses: The Hip and SIAP hold a lot of control over the final playoff spots. If one of the two wins and the other loses this week, then things are clear, the winner is in, the loser is out.

Key tiebreaker considerations:

• SIAP currently leads The Hip by 28 points
• SIAP currently leads Turd Ferguson by 60 points
• The Hip currently leads Turd Ferguson by 32 points
• Turd Ferguson currently leads DDT by 9 points
• The Jedis beat everyone in points tiebreakers
• Winning Beer Money loses to everyone in points tiebreakers (which is why they’re out despite being able to partake in some 6-8 tie madness)
• The Hip beat DDT head-to-head and DDT beat SIAP head-to-head

I’m not even considering trying to figure out all the wild card seed implications…

IN: Post Mortem, Sharp as a Bowling Ball, Tappa Kegga Day, Kramerica, Hedfullalicker
OUT: Camel Toe, Double D, CSPJ, Winning Beer Money

Record Watch

• DDT hit the 10,000 regular season point milestone this week. It took them 111 games, tying Post Mortem as the fastest two teams to this mark.
• WBM’s 53.01 points is the 8th lowest point total in a winning effort
• The Jedi Masters’ record 13 wins in a season is now safe
• Camel Toe’s 11 losses ties them for third most ever
• Hedfullalicker secured their 15th high point week all-time

Season High Points

The Jedi Masters soared back into the season high points race lead this week, in what is, in all likelihood, a three-team race now:

1. The Jedi Masters – 1319.21
2. Hedfullalicker – 1296.82 (22.39 PB)
3. Sharp as a Bowling Ball – 1294.66 (24.55 PB)

Season High Points Against

Camel Toe did the Jedis no favors scoring so low this week while Post Mortem’s 100+ point total helped Hedfull. Interestinly, the Jedis face CSPJ this week, so those two teams are in position to help each other, with the loser being in the best position.

1. Hedfullalicker – 1271.96
2. The Jedi Masters – 1228.14 (43.82 PB)
3. SIAP – 1216.07 (55.89 PB)
4. CSPJ – 1206.28 (65.68 PB)

Recap Babe

Jennifer Hawkins is from Australia. She was also Ms Universe 2004. She’s pretty.

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View the Week 12 Game Center

View the Automated Week 12 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 12 Highlights

• Tappa Kegga Day destroyed DDT by 95 points. This was your classic high point week vs low point week matchup as nothing went right for DDT and everything feel into place for TKD. The win earns TKD a season split with DDT, but DDT still leads the all-time matchup, 7-4.
• Post Mortem used every last bit of Aaron Rodgers’ Monday night performance to squeak by SIAP and lock up the top playoff seed. This career series is now tied at 7 wins each.
• Kramerica Industries secured a spot in the playoffs with their second straight win over Winning Beer Money, extending their series lead to 6-4. WBM is now all but eliminated from playoff contention.
• CSPJ had another big week, mathematically eliminating Double D from the playoff race with a 22 point win. This ends a three-game win streak for DD in the series, but DD still leads 3-2.
• The Jedi Masters missed out on a chance to firmly insert themselves into the playoff hunt, falling to Hedfullalicker, 117.79 – 109.99. This all-time series is now all knotted up at 7 wins each.
• Sharp as a Bowling Ball remained in the 2nd playoff slot with a victory over The Hip, who is still fighting to get into the postseason. SaaBB’s win ended a four-game Hip winning streak in this battle, and gives them an overall 9-8 lead.
• Turd Ferguson completed a season sweep of Camel Toe, winning by 38 and extending their series lead to 3-1.

PFFL Survivor

SIAP was only able to muster 75.36 points this week and missed out on the money in Survivor by the slimmest of margins — one week. This sets up a two-week finale between CSPJ and SaaBB. The winner gets $100, the loser $40.

No More Immunity

Eliminated: SIAP

Finals: SaaBB, CSPJ

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East: The only division race that is actually still a race is led by TKD at 8-4. Kramerica is also 8-4, but was swept by TKD. SIAP cannot win the division, and neither can DDT. DDT could possibly enter into a three-way tie with TKD and Kramerica, but TKD would win based on a 3-1 record in their head-to-head matchups. So, this race is officially between TKD and Kramerica and TKD’s magic number is 2 — any combo of wins by TKD and losses by KI that equals or exceeds 2 will give TKD the division crown.

Central: Sharp as a Bowling Ball has won the division

West: Post Mortem has won the division and the #1 seed in the playoffs.

Wild Card: TKD and Kramerica have both locked up playoff spots regardless of how their division battle turns out. Hedfullalicker and Turd Ferguson qualify for the playoffs with one more win, or a Hip loss (interestingly, they each play The Hip head-to-head in the final two weeks). DDT and SIAP play each other this week. If Turd beats The Hip, the winner of the DDT-SIAP matchup is in. The Jedis, CSPJ and WBM are on life support, but do have a chance to get into a multi-team tie at 6-8 that could come down to total points (this is good news for The Jedi Masters). For this to happen, however, the loser of DDT-SIAP needs to also lose in week 14, and The Hip needs to go 1-1. Oh, and these 4-8 teams need to… like… win 2 games.

Seeds: Post Mortem has locked up the #1 seed. If SaaBB beats TKD this week, SaaBB will be the #2 seed. If TKD wins, they will be #2 with either a win in week 14 or a SaaBB loss. Seeds 4-8 are completely up in the air.

IN: Post Mortem (1), Sharp as a Bowling Ball, Tappa Kegga Day, Kramerica Industries
OUT: Camel Toe, Double D

Record Watch

• DDT’s 31.9 points doesn’t make the top 10 lowest scores list, but it’s close. Tied for 9th on that list are two teams that scored 31.
• TKD’s 95 point victory over DDT is the third largest victory margin in PFFL history.
• Post Mortem became the 12th team in league history to win 11 games in a single season. It’s the second time in Post Mortem history (they won 12 in 1997).

Season High Points

SaaBB remained in the lead in the season high points race, but the big news this week is how much the Jedi Masters have closed the gap. There is now less than 1 point separating the top two teams in this race, with two other teams less than 40 points back.

1. SaaBB – 1191.41
2. The Jedi Masters – 1190.48 (0.93 PB)
3. Hedfullalicker – 1160.16 (31.25 PB)
4. Post Mortem – 1153.16 (38.25 PB)

Season High Points Against

The hard-luck award now looks like a three-team race, with The Jedis pulling a little farther ahead of Hedfullalicker this week, but needing high scoring weeks from Camel Toe (unlikely) and CSPJ (likely) in the next two weeks to stay on top. Hedfullalicker, meanwhile, takes on Post Mortem and The Hip, while CSPJ plays WBM and TJM.

1. The Jedi Masters – 1178.59
2. Hedfullalicker – 1170.07 (8.52 PB)
3. CSPJ – 1153.27 (25.32 PB)

Recap Babe

Rocio Guirao Diaz is a fashion model from Argentina. A lot of her photos seem to be from the back for some reason. She apparently also danced in the Argentine version of Dancing with the Stars.

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View the Week 11 Game Center

View the Automated Week 11 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 11 Highlights

• Hedfullalicker took care of business in a non-division matchup with DDT, winning by 10. This evens the all-time series at 5 wins each and both teams now have matching 6-5 records.
• Kramerica kept pace in the East by completing the season sweep of SIAP. The two wins this season are KI’s only 2 in 8 tries against SIAP all-time.
• Tappa Kegga Day continued its dominance in division play with a win over Double D. TKD is now 7-4 overall, 5-1 in the division, including 2 wins over 7-4 Kramerica. My point? The division is TKD’s to lose. Despite being swept in two games by TKD this year, Double D still leads the career series 7-3.
• Post Mortem stayed perfect in West division play, completing a sweep of Turd Ferguson in a thrilling Monday night comeback. The win also locked up the West division for PM. Post leads this matchup, 9-6.
• Sharp as a Bowling Ball completed a division-clinching season sweep of their own, beating The Jedi Masters by 16. SaaBB now leads this matchup 10-6.
• The Hip beat CSPJ in a high-scoring affair, 109.21 – 106.29, between two teams fighting to stay alive in the playoff chase. This game ties the all-time series at three wins each.
• Camel Toe picked up their second victory of the season, beating WBM for the second time in three tries since CT joined the league. By winning by 39, Camel Toe also greatly reduced the chance that a stat change will wipe this win away.

PFFL Survivor

CSPJ scored 106.29 points to pace the remaining four Survivors, despite losing their game against The Hip. SaaBB did just fine with 90.95. The bottom two made things interesting though, as SIAP remained alive by only 2.4 points over The Jedi Masters, who were eliminated. Next week is the final elimination week before the grandiose two-week finale.

No More Immunity

Eliminated: The Jedi Masters

Final Three: SaaBB, SIAP, CSPJ

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East: Tappa Kegga Day is now firmly in control of their own destiny in the East. Win out and the division title is theirs. DDT, however, also controls their fortunes. Three wins to close out the season will give them the division title. Kramerica needs to win out and get a little help in the form of a TKD loss. SIAP? Well, they still have a chance, but with a 1-5 division mark and a sweep at the hands of Kramerica, they definitely need to win out and then get some help (an additional TKD loss and two losses by Kramerica to be exact). Double D has been eliminated from division contention.

Central: Sharp as a Bowling Ball has clinched the Central division title. To claim the #1 playoff seed, SaaBB needs to win three and have Post Mortem lose three.

West: Post Mortem has claimed the West division title, and needs only 1 more win or a single SaaBB loss to lock up the top seed and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

Wild Card: As it stands right now, 3 teams from the East and 2 from the West would make the playoffs as Wild Cards. While the line between playoff qualifier and Toilet Bowl entrant is starting to become clearer, there is still hope for a number of teams currently on the outside looking in. The Hip is likely in control of their own fate and would probably make the playoffs by winning out. The Jedi Masters and Winning Beer Money likely must win all three of their remaining games, and get a little help along the way, but still have at least a decent shot at getting that help given the number of head-to-head division games forthcoming in the East and West. CSPJ and Double D are not yet mathematically eliminated, but either of them making it to the postseason would be miracle-esque. Camel Toe is now officially a Toilet Bowl contender.

IN: Post Mortem, Sharp as a Bowling Ball
OUT: Camel Toe

Record Watch

• In a season of milestones, Post Mortem reached another one this week, becoming the first team in PFFL history to record 50 division wins. Despite only having 39 division losses, it took PM 90 division games to reach this mark — they currently have an all-time division record of 50-39-1. (Note: SIAP has two more chances this season to get their 50th division win and TKD would also reach the mark if they win both of their remaining division matchups)
• Sharp as a Bowling Ball and Post Mortem will both be making their 9th playoff appearances this year. That is a league record that cannot be tied by anyone else for at least one more season.
• The division titles for SaaBB and Post Mortem are their third. This is currently tied for 2nd most division titles in PFFL history with three other teams. The Jedi Masters hold the record with 5 division wins, and if either TKD or DDT wins the East, they will move into second place alone with 4.
• Matt Cassel’s 42.2 point performance on Thursday ties him for the 10th most points scored by a QB on a team’s roster in the player stats era (since 2004). Unfortunately, he was on Kramerica’s bench. This ranks him 5th on the list of highest scoring benched players at any position in PFFL player stat history.  It’s also the third benching in the top 10 to have occurred this season. It’s almost like 2008 has been a year of up-and-down performances and very few clear-cut stud players or something.

Season High Points

Sharp as a Bowling Ball used their head-to-head matchup against the #2 overall scorer to extend their lead this week:

1. SaaBB – 1098.66
2. The Jedi Masters – 1080.09 (18.57 PB)
3. Post Mortem – 1071.75 (26.91 PB)
4. Hedfullalicker – 1042.37 (56.29 PB)
5. SIAP – 1038.83 (59.83 PB)

Season High Points Against

The “hard luck” award of PFFL fee interest annually goes to the team that has the most points scored against them. Despite the financial crisis going on, this is actually still a hefty sum (thank you internet banking!), and this race is shaping up to be worth the prize:

1. The Jedi Masters – 1060.80
2. Hedfullalicker – 1060.08 (0.72 PB)
3. CSPJ – 1055.28 (5.52 PB)
4. SIAP – 1015.46 (45.34 PB)

Given their relatively weak remaining schedules, this appears (on paper, at least) to be a tough race for TJM or CSPJ to win. Meanwhile, SIAP plays the toughest remaining schedule in the league, which might give them the chance to make up that large-ish looking deficit). Here’s one time when you actually want your opponents to score points.

Recap Babe

Quantum of Solace was the top grossing movie at the box office over the weekend, and the Bond Girl of the moment is Olga Kurylenko. For those of you who speak German, enjoy the magazine text below. For everyone else? Look, boobies!

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View the Week 10 Game Center

View the Automated Week 10 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 10 Highlights

• DDT improved to 6-4 by completing a season sweep of Double D. Back in week 2, Double D scored 60.02 against DDT. This week they managed 60.82. At this rate, it will only take Double D 49 more games against DDT to score 100. DDT has won 4 straight in a series that they now lead 4-1.
• SIAP extended their win streak to 4 games with a beat down of Camel Toe. SIAP now leads this series 2-1 and has won the last two meetings. Camel Toe has lost 6 straight.
• Kramerica ended Post Mortem’s perfect season and remained in a tie for the lead in the East. KI has now won two straight in this series and leads the matchup, 3-2.
• TKD came up big this week to hand The Jedi Masters a loss. The loss ended a five game win streak for TJM in this series, which is still led by the Jedis, 8-7.
• Turd Ferguson took sole possession of 2nd place in the West with a win over Hedfullalicker. The two split their season series, but Hedfullalicker still leads 7-6 all-time.
• The Hip lost a third straight game, falling to Winning Beer Money, who seems intent on re-inserting themselves into the playoff picture. The Hip still leads this all-time matchup, 7-5.
• In the highest scoring game of the week, CSPJ picked up their 2nd division win (and 3rd overall) with a 12-point victory over division-leading SaaBB. The teams split their season series and the career series is all tied up at 5-5-1.

PFFL Survivor

Hedfullalicker’s 62.91 points this week were not even close to enough to get them into the Survivor Final Four. Now that we are down to 4 teams, there is no immunity. The next two weeks will see the lowest score eliminated regardless of prior week results, leading up to the two-week Survivor finale. SIAP, CSPJ, The Jedi Masters, and SaaBB are your contenders. Interestingly enough, 2 of those teams would currently be in the playoffs, while the other two are on the outside looking in)

No More Immunity

Eliminated: Hedfullalicker

Out of Survivor: Camel Toe, Double D, Winning Beer Money, Duany Duany Tanning, Turd Ferguson, Tappa Kegga Day, Post Mortem, The Hip, Kramerica Industries, Hedfullalicker

Final Four: SaaBB, SIAP, The Jedi Masters, CSPJ

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East: Wow. I mean, there was just no separation among the top teams in this division this week. TKD and DDT are in the best position with 4-1 division records, while SIAP, at 1-4, can’t afford another division loss. But, with three division matchups looming for the top 4 teams here over the next four weeks, there is a TON left to be settled. TKD faces Double D and SIAP and Kramerica square off in big week 11 East battles.

Central: If SaaBB beats The Jedi Masters in week 11, SaaBB wins the division. Yep, it’s that easy. Of course, these are also the two highest-scoring teams in the league, so this shootout should be interesting. The Jedis and WBM are still alive in this division race, but likely need to win out and have SaaBB lose out.

West: This division isn’t settled yet, but if Post Mortem defeats Turd Ferguson in week 11, the division crown will belong to Mortem. Turd needs to win to keep their division title hopes alive while Hedfullalicker has an outside shot if they win out and Post Mortem loses out.

Wild Card: Right now, this picture looks pretty clear. If you are .500 or better, you are in the playoffs. With the East teams set to start beating up on each other, however, the 4-6 (and even 3-7) teams have a shot to get into the mix if they can keep winning games. Only one team has clinched a playoff spot — Post Mortem actually wrapped up their postseason invite last week. No one has been eliminated yet, but Camel Toe is out with another loss or with a Hedfullalicker win.

IN: Post Mortem

Record Watch

• We can close the book now on the spot in the record books for Post Mortem’s 9-game win streak:
  • Longest win streak to start a season
  • Tied for 3rd longest multi-season win streak
  • Tied for 3rd longest single-season win streak
  • Longest win streak in Post Mortem franchise history
• Camel Toe’s current 6-game loss streak puts them in a tie for 5th longest single-season losing streak and a tie for 10th longest multi-season loss streak
• Hedfullalicker’s benching of Jay Cutler and his 38.25 point performance this week resulted in the 9th highest scoring performance from a player on the bench in the player stats era (2004-present)
• Camel Toe lost their 25th regular season game this week

Season High Points

We have one of the better races for season high points in recent memory going on right now with five teams within 100 points of the lead, so I’m going to start highlighting the current standings here.

1. SaaBB – 1007.71
2. The Jedi Masters – 1005.99 (1.72 PB)
3. Post Mortem – 982.87 (24.84 PB)
4. SIAP – 962.33 (45.38 PB)
5. Hedfullalicker – 941.26 (66.45 PB)

Everyone else is 149 or more points behind SaaBB and probably shouldn’t be including the season high point winnings in their budget.

Recap Babe

Blake Lively from Gossip Girl is your recap babe this week as she rocks a one-piece swimsuit.

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View the Week 9 Game Center

View the Automated Week 9 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 9 Highlights

• DDT picked up a big win as far as wild card tiebreakers are concerned, beating The Jedi Masters by 22. TJM still leads this series, 5-3, but DDT has outscored them by 10 points in the career matchup.
• SIAP recorded their first division win of the year, dropping Double D by 22 points. This is SIAP’s first win over DD since week 9 of the 2004 season and pulls them to within two in the all-time matchup, led by DD, 6-4.
• Tappa Kegga Day moved into the lead in the East division race with a low-scoring win over Kramerica Industries. The win earned TKD the season sweep of KI (in fact, KI’s only division losses this year have been to TKD), and stretched their overall series lead to 4-2.
• Post Mortem completed a season sweep of The Hip with a convincing 38 point win. PM has won four straight over The Hip and now leads the career matchup, 9-4.
• Hedfullalicker got back into the winning spirit with an 8-point win over Camel Toe, losers of 5 straight. Hedfullalicker was Camel Toe’s lone victim this season, back in week 4. Hed now leads this all-time matchup, 3-2.
• SaaBB rebounded from a tough loss last week to defeat a West division opponent in Turd Ferguson. This was SaaBB’s second straight win over Turd and moves them into the career series lead, 5-4.
• CSPJ notched their second win of the year, beating Winning Beer Money by 9. The win ended a 4-game series win streak for WBM, but WBM still leads all-time, 4-2-1.

PFFL Survivor

SaaBB won not only weekly high points, but also the final Survivor immunity, guaranteeing them a spot in the Survivor Final Four. SIAP, TJM, Hedfullalicker and CSPJ will battle next week for the other three final four spots.

Immunity Winner: Sharp as a Bowling Ball

Eliminated: Kramerica Industries

Out of Survivor: Camel Toe, Double D, Winning Beer Money, Duany Duany Tanning, Turd Ferguson, Tappa Kegga Day, Post Mortem, The Hip, Kramerica Industries

Still Alive: SaaBB, SIAP, The Jedi Masters, Hedfullalicker, CSPJ

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East: The league’s most interesting division race did not gain any clarity this week. Not at all. Four teams are now tied for the division lead at 5-4, and even last-place Double D is only two games out of the division lead. If DD wants any chance at the division crown, they must beat DDT and TKD over the next two weeks.

Central: SaaBB won and TJM lost this week, so this division is starting to look like a non-race. SaaBB’s magic number is 3 meaning any combination of 3 SaaBB wins and TJM losses will hand the Central crown to SaaBB.

West: With a 4-game lead with only 5 games remaining, it would now take a collapse of monumental scale for Post Mortem to not win the West. The race for second place though, should be a good one. Turd Ferguson and Hedfullalicker play this week, with the winner moving into 2nd. Meanwhile, both The Hip and Camel Toe have been mathematically eliminated from division contention.

Wild Card: The wild card spots are as up-for-grabs as the East division. Currently, all of the teams at 5-4 or better would be in the playoffs, but there are a couple of 4-5 teams nipping at their heels. Games between Turd and Hed, Double D and DDT, & TKD and TJM in week 10 will play a big part in the race.

Record Watch

• Post Mortem now owns the mark for best start to a season in PFFL history at 9-0.
• Post Mortem’s 9-game win streak is tied with three other teams for the third longest streak ever in the regular season, and tied with one other team for third longest streak in a single season.
• With 88.43 points this week, Post Mortem also became the first team in PFFL to record 15,000 regular season points. It took 163 games.
• Post Mortem also became the first team in league history to win 100 games overall (regular season + playoffs), doing so in 176 games.

Recap Babe

Keeley Hazell in easily the best witch costume I’ve seen this Halloween season.

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The closest win in PFFL history, a record-tying start to the season, and the setup for a great playoff chase. Here’s what happened in the PFFL in week 8!

View the Week 8 Game Center

View the Automated Week 8 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 8 Highlights

• Kramerica won their third straight game and assumed sole possession of first place in the East. This is also Kramerica’s third straight win in this series, which is now tied at 4 wins each.
• Don’t look now, but SIAP is on a win streak. With a dominant performance in a win over reeling Hedfullalicker, SIAP is now .500 and firmly in wild card contention. This is SIAP’s 2nd straight win over Hed, giving them a 5-3 all-time lead in the matchup.
• WBM handed TKD its third consecutive loss, ending a 3-game win streak by TKD in this series. WBM improved their record to 3-5 to get back into the wild card conversation, while TKD dropped to 4-4 and is down another wild card tiebreak. TKD still leads this series, 9-7.
• In a matchup between the two lowest scoring teams in the league this week, Camel Toe beat Double D by 0.06 points. That, my friends, is the smallest victory margin in PFFL history. Both teams are now 2-6 and need to improve quickly to make a run at the postseason.
• The battle of division leaders did not disappoint. Going into Monday night, SaaBB held a 7.74 point lead over Post Mortem, but Mortem had one player left, Rob Bironas. After the Tennessee kicker nailed two field goals totalling 78 yards early in the Monday Night game, Post Mortem had the lead and an 8-0 record. It is PM’s 4th straight win over SaaBB, putting Post’s series lead at 9-4-1. Despite having 5 more wins, PM has only outscored SaaBB by 47 points in their matchup history. For SaaBB, this was their first loss since week 1, ending a 6-game win streak.
• Turd Ferguson kept pace in the West, dropping division rivals The Hip by 11. Turd now leads this all-time matchup, 8-4 with one more meeting to come this season.
• The Jedi Masters exploded for league-high points this week, holding back a tough effort from CSPJ in their first meeting since 2005. The 51-point win gives TJM a 3-2 series advantage.

Record Watch

• Post Mortem became only the second team in PFFL history to begin a season 8-0. This ties the record previously set by the team PM beat this week, SaaBB. SaaBB achieved the mark in 2004, ultimately finishing the regular season with a 10-4 record and losing in the playoff semifinals as a wild card team.
• This is also only the 8th time that a team has won 8 straight games in a single season. In three instances, teams have won more than 8 straight within a single season, led by The Jedi Masters with 12 straight wins last year.
• Camel Toe’s 0.06 point win over Double D is the smallest victory margin in league history, surpassing WBM’s 0.18 point win over DDT in 2005.
• DDT became the 13th team to lose 25 division games. With an all-time division record of 33-25, DDT ties with Hedfullalicker as taking the second most time to record that 25th loss. SIAP took the longest — 64 games.

PFFL Survivor

With the weekly high points, The Jedi Masters locked immunity. This coming week is the last available immunity opportunity, and will determine one member of the Final Four. Meanwhile, The Hip’s second lowest point total of the season sent them off the island.

Immunity Winner: The Jedi Masters

Eliminated: The Hip

Out of Survivor: Camel Toe, Double D, Winning Beer Money, Duany Duany Tanning, Turd Ferguson, Tappa Kegga Day, Post Mortem, The Hip

Still Alive: Kramerica Industries, SaaBB, SIAP, The Jedi Masters, Hedfullalicker, CSPJ

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East – This is the league’s most wide-open race. Kramerica Industries grabbed sole possession of first place this week, but has three teams only one game back. All five teams in the division have played each other exactly once, and will repeat that cycle in the next six weeks. The team with the most ground to make up is SIAP, who is 0-4 inside the division but 4-0 outside it. Week 9 division matchups: Kramerica vs TKD and SIAP vs Double D.

Central – SaaBB’s loss combined with The Jedi Masters’ win has created a closer race in the Central. The Jedis have already lost 2 games in the division and only have 2 left, so they need to beat SaaBB in week 11 and get some help from other teams (preferably another division foe) in defeating the Bowling Balls. In the bottom of the division, WBM is trying to make a late push and gets help from the schedule, with two games against cellar dwelling CSPJ remaining on the schedule. Week 9 division matchup: WBM vs CSPJ

West – Two of the four best records and half of the top 6 scoring teams reside in the West, but most of the division has been overshadowed by Post Mortem’s undefeated start to the season. PM has beaten each of its division opponents once, while no one else in the West is better than 2-2 inside the division. It’s certainly not a guarantee that Mortem wins the division, but it’s going to take a fairly huge collapse by PM and an outstanding run through a slew of tough division foes by someone else for it not to happen. Turd Ferguson’s spot in the West standings will be determined during a 4-week division-only stretch starting in week 10 while the other four teams square off in West battles this week. Week 9 division matchups: Post Mortem vs The Hip, Hedfullalicker vs Camel Toe

Wild Card – Think the NFL has parity? Check out the annual dogfight that is the wild card race in PFFL. Post Mortem and SaaBB appear to be in very comfortable position to mathematically lock up a playoff berth soon. Kramerica Industries and Turd Ferguson are both 5-3 and in firm control of their destinies, but are only one game ahead of a six-pack of teams at 4-4. WBM, Camel Toe, Double D and CSPJ must win games now if they want to get into this fight. The next few weeks will do a lot to separate the contenders and pretenders in this group, starting with some key matchups this week. Key wild card influencing matchups in week 9: Kramerica Industries (5-3) vs Tappa Kegga Day (4-4), The Jedi Masters (4-4) vs Duany Duany Tanning (4-4).

Recap Babe

Stacy Keibler has always had the legs, now she’s trying to get a real acting career going. She also says she’s a “nerd.” I guess nerdy girls all date a string of roided out freaks. She was also apparently in something on ABC Family recently…

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