During the summer, I got a head start on some of the preview posts. You can call it cheating if you want, but they all do feature some Keeley Hazell pictures, so I don’t think you’ll complain too much.
This is the one I wrote for week 3.
In this post, I’m going to make an attempt to give a little more life to some of the rivalries in our first ever official Rivalry Week – inspired by (most of) your submissions in the offseason listing your biggest PFFL rivals.
Here we go. If you think any of these are lame, let me know and I’ll rename it to something more of your liking. Otherwise, you just might be stuck with these rivalry names for life.
 Post Mortem vs The Jedi MastersThe Battle for BritneyThis is the first ever named PFFL rivalry. There’s even a traveling trophy. It’s a poster of Britney Spears that, yes, I felt weird buying 5 or 6 years ago or whenever. I think it’s in Walker’s basement right now, or on one of his daughter’s bedroom walls. |
 Duany Duany Tanning vs Chain Smoking Patch JunkiesFIB (F**king Illinois Bowl) Both of these teams feature owners who reside in Chicago. While this isn’t necessarily a reflection of their individual worth, it does mean that they are likely terrible drivers. I believe this game is being played at Six Flags. |
 SIAP vs Double DIrish American Cup This is the storied matchup of Uncle Sam and the Leprechaun. One nation is an island known for its friendly drunks (just don’t bring up religion!), the other is the most powerful nation in the world. So, yeah, it’s a fair fight. |
 Kramerica Industries vs Turd FergusonThe White Shirt Allegedly, these two dislike the sun and are willing to go to extreme measures to protect themselves from it, to the point of putting on a layer of sunscreen so thick it becomes the equivalent of a shirt. The picture for this one is probably better than an image of either of these owners getting oiled up. |
 Hedfullalicker vs The HipThe World’s Smallest Indoor Cocktail Party One team is literally a head full of liquor. The other has owners separated by an ocean, but governed (symbolically) by the same queen. The name is a knockoff of the annual Florida – Georgia matchup in college football. Hopefully it’s also how these guys spend their time cheering on this game this weekend. |
 Sharp as a Bowling Ball vs Winning Beer MoneyBattle for the Flute Someone involved in this matchup was in band. Someone on one of these two teams listed the other team as their team’s #1 rival. Historically, they’ve played each other closely, including one tie. Alysson Hannigan and her Band Camp skills await the winner. |
 Tappa Kegga Day vs Camel ToeMooseknuckle Cup Well, the term is an advanced form of one team’s name, the picture is one that Kennedy would probably post for the other team. It seems to fit. Given that this is only their second meeting ever, they’re probably also going to hope they don’t play again anytime soon during rivalry week so they’re not subjected to this same pic. |
Rivalry Babe
Keeley gets the nod as the official preview babe, so for this special rivalry post, we’ll go with one of her countrymates. Say hello to Danielle Lloyd. Did you just say “Hello” out loud? Because she can’t really hear you. I mean, I was just using that figuratively.
More Danielle:
[...] week is the second of our two rivalry weeks for the season. Last time I named them all. This time, each team gets a mascot. Why? Well, I’d rather look for pictures [...]