The byline for this article goes to Don, who spent a good portion of his Tuesday working out the calculations here. I haven’t really reviewed these in detail, so please consider them as unofficial.
Team-by-Team:
The Jedi Masters (12-1): TJM is locked into the #1 seed. They are playing week 14 for record purposes (best single season record, most points in a season, etc) and to try to win Survivor.
SIAP (9-4): SIAP has the Central division wrapped up and is locked into the #2 seed. Their motivation this week? SIAP has never won 10 games in a single season. Four times they have finished at 9-5, but never better. Of course, 2 of those 4 9-5 finishes led to championships, so maybe it’s part of the formula.
Double D (10-3): Double D is locked into the top wild card spot and corresponding #4 seed. An 11-3 finish would be their best ever regular season, surpassing the 10-4 mark they posted in 2005, when they won the league championship.
Sharp as a Bowling Ball (7-6): The good news? They are in the playoffs for sure. The simple scenario? A win (or a Kramerica loss) and they wrap up the East division and the #3 seed. The complicated stuff? If SaaBB loses and Kramerica wins AND DDT wins, they could end up seeded 6th, 7th or 8th.
Kramerica Industries (6-7): Here’s a team that could win the division, or miss the playoffs altogether. A win plus a SaaBB loss plus a DDT win would give them the division title and the #3 seed. If that doesn’t work out, a win would still lock up a playoff spot and a seed anywhere from 6-8. A loss and they are out of the playoffs.
Post Mortem (7-6): Despite going 2-6 in their last 8 games, Post Mortem is in the playoffs as a wild card. They will be either the 5th seed (with a first round matchup against Double D) or the 6th seed (with a first round game against SaaBB or Kramerica). A win or WBM loss locks up the 5-spot. A loss plus a WBM win leads to the more attractive #6 seed.
Winning Beer Money (7-6): WBM is in the playoffs, that much is certain. Their seed, on the other hand, is completely up in the air. If WBM wins and Post Mortem loses, they will get the 5 seed. A win and a Post Mortem win locks up #6. A loss and they could end up seeded anywhere from 6-8, depending on what happens in the Kramerica and TKD games.
Tappa Kegga Day (6-7): Despite a 1-7 record in the West division, TKD controls its own destiny this week. A win and they are the 6 or 7 seed. A loss, and they need some help, but could still get into the playoffs.
Duany Duany Tanning (6-7): DDT needs to win and get a loss from either TKD or Kramerica to make the playoffs. If they lose, they could still get in if CSPJ, Kramerica and Hedfullalicker all lose.
Hedfullalicker (5-8): Hedfullalicker has an outside shot if they win, plus Kramerica loses to The Hip AND either DDT or TKD loses. Simple, right?
The Hip (5-8): These guys always seem to be alive by the skin of their teeth. The Hip appears to have a shot at the #8 seed. But they need to win, AND have SaaBB beat Hedfullalicker AND SIAP beat DDT.
Chain Smoking Patch Junkies (5-8): These guys appear to be SOL. However, if they win and a bunch of other stuff happens, they might have a chance at a total points tiebreaker. Best advice to the Smokers? Win and score a LOT of points.
Camel Toe (4-9): Will help determine Post Mortem’s seed if WBM wins. Other than that, Camel Toe will either be undefeated against only one PFFL team (Kramerica) after this game or two.
Turd Ferguson (2-11): A loss would give them the 2nd most losses in a single PFFL season. So, there’s that…
Career Record Watch
Here’s how some of the career and full-season records look heading into the week 14:
- Post Mortem has 86 career wins, SIAP is only 3 back with 83. The Jedi Masters, despite playing one fewer season, have moved into a tie with Hedfullalicker at 78 wins (4th place).
- The Hip will end the season with the most career regular season losses. The question is will that number be 78 or 79.
- Double D is going to hold onto the career regular season winning percentage record, but The Jedi Masters could potentially pass Post Mortem and move into 3rd.
- Barring The Hip scoring 446 more points than Post Mortem this week, Post will continue to lead the league in career regular season points.
- Post Mortem has also passed DDT on the Regular Season Points Per Game list by 0.2 ppg.
- The Jedi Masters now have the best career division winning percentage at .592, and have only 3 fewer division wins than SIAP.
- Post Mortem will continue to lead the career high point weeks chart, but SIAP is only 2.5 back.
Finally, in the season high points contest, Double D would need to outscore The Jedi Masters by 135 points this week to prevent the Jedis from claiming that prize too.
Adriana Lima wishes you all playoff-making success, and models some underwear that is way to expensive for you to buy for your ladies…
Thanks again Don!
