Happy New Year!

Stacy Kiebler has an “ad” on Funny Or Die:

Some highlights from this week’s transaction results:

• Post Mortem beat CSPJ by 30 (319-289) to get Derrick Ward
• Antwaan Randle El went for 333 to SaaBB, the highest priced FA of the week
• Camel Toe spent 200 for Sammy Morris. They probably didn’t need to as no one else bid for him.
• Same story for Hedfullalicker’s $187 pickup of Shaun McDonald
• The Indianapolis Colts defense cost TKD $103. Kramerica had bid 1, CSPJ 29.
• Double D got Drew Carter for $151 — no one else’s bid was involved.
• David Boston was actually still on someone’s roster. That has been rectified.

KSK’s Week One Gamebook (some good stuff in here, plus swear words)

In more important news, the PFFL season also kicks off this weekend. Some highlights from the week 1 schedule:

• PFFL Super Bowl champs Winning Beer Money battle Turd Ferguson for the 11th time in league history. WBM defeated Turd in the regular season and first round of the playoffs last year, and has won 4 straight regular season meetings en route to an 8-2 overall advantage.
• Kramerica Industries battles Camel Toe. Camel Toe defeated Kramerica in both of their division meetings last season.
• Sharp as a Bowling Ball and The Jedi Masters face off for the 14th time in PFFL history. SaaBB won both regular season meetings last year, and owns an 8-5 overall advantage.
• After meeting annually from 2003-2005, CSPJ and DDT meet for the fourth time ever. DDT won the last meeting by 35.
• Hedfullalicker beat Double D in week 4 last year by 40. This will be their secon-ever meeting.
• Post Mortem owns a 5-3 all-time advantage over Tappa Kegga Day and aims for a second straight regular season win this week. Post won 82-67.01 in week 5 last year.
• SIAP seeks a 10th win ever over The Hip this week. In week 7 last year, SIAP won 98.49-77.19.

Week 1 Records
The following week 1 highlights come from the PFFL records site:

• Hedfullalicker scored 165 points in week 1 of the 1998 season, the most ever in a week 1 game. Post Mortem scored 114.65 in week 1 last year, the 10th highest in the season opening week.
• The most combined points scored in a week 1 game happened in the first week of PFFL action. In 1997, Grady/Jochims defeated The Hip, 133-79, a total of 212 points.
• Post Mortem’s 102-43 win over Tappa Kegga Day in 1998 is the largest victory margin in a week 1 game.
• In 2003, CSPJ and Winning Beer Money played to the first and only week 1 tie, a 72-72 thriller.

This week’s preview babe is Keeley Hazell, and for a little NSFW stuff, follow the jump…

For more information about the lovely Sarah Shahi, see this recent Kissing Suzy Kolber blog post

To see:

WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT HER – What Would Tyler Durden Do

or

Britney Spears poses topless – The Superficial – www.thesuperficial.com

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Top 10 Stupidest Britney Spears Moments

For those of you that like bald chicks (or stalker-ish Britney getting a tattoo photos), check out
What Would Tyler Durden Do

While people like the Marks in PFFL were celebrating the sex machine’s win, and this guy was crafting a message for Bill Simmons, and a Bengal got arrested – Jessica Biel decided to get in some sunbathing on a yacht somewhere. I don’t really care too much about the state of her suntan, but the photos from her stalker are nice…

Also, Eva Longoria posed with some chains.

Jackson State’s Flaming Twirler (from With Leather)

Tim Tebow’s Girlfriend is Stacked (from With Leather)

Things You Can Learn from College Girls (Part 1) (from Barstool Sports, found only because I followed the link in the Tebow post)

Nicole Richie Doesn’t Induce Vomiting, Brain Confused (from The Superficial – this is the first image above)

Cigarettes Must Be On Sale (from What Would Tyler Durden Do? – this is the second image)

Jessica Alba was busy this week. She sported a number of different bikinis while spending her time on a beach in some sunny location that was likely not Lake Michigan. Personally, I don’t think she has a very good throwing motion, so her chances of making an NFL team are not good. I sure hope she has a backup plan.

Links:
WWTD – This Guy Really Likes Jessica Alba
The Superficial – Jessica Ala’s butt looks terrible in a bikini
The Superficial – Jessica Alba plays football in her bikini

And now, a buttload of pictures: