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Tag Archives: Keeley Hazell

2009 Week 2 Recap [Keeley Hazell]

Posted on September 25, 2009 by Post Mortem
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View the Week 2 GameCenter
View the Week 2 MFL Auto-Recaps

keeley-hazell-bikini-calendar-06Highlights

  • CSPJ rode Chris Johnson’s big Sunday to their first win of the season. The win ended a two-game win streak over the smokers for the Jedis. Both teams are now 1-1 overall and in division play.
  • DDT picked up a 0.35 point win over Camel Toe in this week’s closest game. The win gives DDT a 2-1 advantage in their career matchup with CT.
  • Despite scoring the fourth lowest points of any team this week, and requiring a big Ronnie Brown night on Monday to do it, TKD improved to 2-0, handing Hedfullalicker their first loss of the season. TKD continues to dominate this all-time matchup, 11-4.
  • Turd Ferguson bounced back from an ugly week 1 with a huge win. In fact, they went from week 1 low points to week 2 high points. The Hip was not as lucky and dropped to 0-2. Turd now leads this series, 9-5.
  • Kramerica remained undefeated with a win over arch-rival Winning Beer Money. Kramerica now owns a 7-4 all-time lead over WBM including winning the last three straight.
  • Post Mortem used the momentum from last year’s playoff victory over Double D to beat the D’s in convincing fashion. DD is now 0-2 on the season, but can hold solace in the fact that they still lead the career matchup with Mortem, 8-3.
  • SIAP improved to 2-0, despite another relatively low scoring week. SaaBB was on the losing end of this one and falls to 0-2. This series is tied at 7 wins apiece.

Record Watch

Note: All player scoring records cover the period of 2004 to the present only

  • DDT’s 0.35 point win over Camel Toe is the 6th closest game in PFFL history
  • Hedfullalicker and The Hip became the 2nd and 3rd teams to score 15,000 regular season points. They join Post Mortem in this exclusive club.
  • In PFFL all-time, Chris Johnson’s 49.4 point output is 2nd only to Adrian Peterson’s 50.5 point day in week 9 of 2007.

PFFL Survivor

View the Current Survivor Standings

Eliminated: Hedfullalicker
Won Immunity: CSPJ

There was a tight battle for elimination this week, with Hedfullalicker and TKD both entering Monday night’s game in jeopardy of league low points. TKD, however, had immunity, and later, Ronnie Brown, on their side. Hed was not so lucky. Meanwhile, Turd Ferguson’s high point week unfortunately happened while they were already off the island, so CSPJ gets the honor of week 3 immunity.

Recap Babe

Apparently PFFL-fave Keeley has given up the naked modeling business. She’s apparently focusing on silly things like trying to create a clothing line or a singing career or whatever-I-don’t-care-I-miss-the-old-job. But that isn’t stopping her from putting out a 2010 calendar.

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Categories: General | Tags: 2009, Keeley Hazell, Recap

2008 Week 9 Recap [Keeley Hazell is a Witch]

Posted on November 4, 2008 by Post Mortem
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Week 9 featured even more tightening of some playoff races while a couple division races are all but over. In addition, Post Mortem continued their early season success with a new record and two new milestones.

View the Week 9 Game Center

View the Automated Week 9 Recaps at myFantasyLeague

Week 9 Highlights

  • DDT picked up a big win as far as wild card tiebreakers are concerned, beating The Jedi Masters by 22. TJM still leads this series, 5-3, but DDT has outscored them by 10 points in the career matchup.
  • SIAP recorded their first division win of the year, dropping Double D by 22 points. This is SIAP’s first win over DD since week 9 of the 2004 season and pulls them to within two in the all-time matchup, led by DD, 6-4.
  • Tappa Kegga Day moved into the lead in the East division race with a low-scoring win over Kramerica Industries. The win earned TKD the season sweep of KI (in fact, KI’s only division losses this year have been to TKD), and stretched their overall series lead to 4-2.
  • Post Mortem completed a season sweep of The Hip with a convincing 38 point win. PM has won four straight over The Hip and now leads the career matchup, 9-4.
  • Hedfullalicker got back into the winning spirit with an 8-point win over Camel Toe, losers of 5 straight. Hedfullalicker was Camel Toe’s lone victim this season, back in week 4. Hed now leads this all-time matchup, 3-2.
  • SaaBB rebounded from a tough loss last week to defeat a West division opponent in Turd Ferguson. This was SaaBB’s second straight win over Turd and moves them into the career series lead, 5-4.
  • CSPJ notched their second win of the year, beating Winning Beer Money by 9. The win ended a 4-game series win streak for WBM, but WBM still leads all-time, 4-2-1.

PFFL Survivor

SaaBB won not only weekly high points, but also the final Survivor immunity, guaranteeing them a spot in the Survivor Final Four. SIAP, TJM, Hedfullalicker and CSPJ will battle next week for the other three final four spots.

Immunity Winner: Sharp as a Bowling Ball

Eliminated: Kramerica Industries

Out of Survivor: Camel Toe, Double D, Winning Beer Money, Duany Duany Tanning, Turd Ferguson, Tappa Kegga Day, Post Mortem, The Hip, Kramerica Industries

Still Alive: SaaBB, SIAP, The Jedi Masters, Hedfullalicker, CSPJ

View the current Survivor Standings

Postseason Races

East: The league’s most interesting division race did not gain any clarity this week. Not at all. Four teams are now tied for the division lead at 5-4, and even last-place Double D is only two games out of the division lead. If DD wants any chance at the division crown, they must beat DDT and TKD over the next two weeks.

Central: SaaBB won and TJM lost this week, so this division is starting to look like a non-race. SaaBB’s magic number is 3 meaning any combination of 3 SaaBB wins and TJM losses will hand the Central crown to SaaBB.

West: With a 4-game lead with only 5 games remaining, it would now take a collapse of monumental scale for Post Mortem to not win the West. The race for second place though, should be a good one. Turd Ferguson and Hedfullalicker play this week, with the winner moving into 2nd. Meanwhile, both The Hip and Camel Toe have been mathematically eliminated from division contention.

Wild Card: The wild card spots are as up-for-grabs as the East division. Currently, all of the teams at 5-4 or better would be in the playoffs, but there are a couple of 4-5 teams nipping at their heels. Games between Turd and Hed, Double D and DDT, & TKD and TJM in week 10 will play a big part in the race.

Record Watch

  • Post Mortem now owns the mark for best start to a season in PFFL history at 9-0.
  • Post Mortem’s 9-game win streak is tied with three other teams for the third longest streak ever in the regular season, and tied with one other team for third longest streak in a single season.
  • With 88.43 points this week, Post Mortem also became the first team in PFFL to record 15,000 regular season points. It took 163 games.
  • Post Mortem also became the first team in league history to win 100 games overall (regular season + playoffs), doing so in 176 games.

Recap Babe

Keeley Hazell in easily the best witch costume I’ve seen this Halloween season.

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, Recap

Week 7 Stat Change [Keeley Hazell]

Posted on October 23, 2008 by Post Mortem
2 comments

One stat change had an impact on the PFFL scores this week.

  • A 10-yard pass from Marc Bulger to Donnie Avery was changed to a running play. This deducted 10 yards from Bulger’s passing totals, and also deducted 0.5 point from Turd Ferguson.

Stat Change Babe

The stat changes babes have pretty much exclusively been British Page 3 (i.e. topless) models, so this is as good an excuse as any to post more Keeley pics. This set starts off with a rare picture of Keeley wearing clothes, then quickly moves on to her more typical attire.

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Categories: General | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, stat change

2008 Week 5 Stat Changes [Keeley Hazell]

Posted on October 10, 2008 by Post Mortem
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View the Stat Change news feed at myFantasyLeague.com

A couple stat changes this week had impacts on final scores in PFFL:

  • An 11-yard rush was erroneously attributed to Marshawn Lynch, when it was actually Fred Jackson. This added 1.1 point to CSPJ’s total, and deducted 1.1 point from The Hip.
  • A Ricky Williams negative yard play was changed from a negative rush to a sack, adding a point to the Chargers D. This added a point to Camel Toe’s score.

Stat Change Babe

Keeley Hazell in an older pic congratulates Ricky Williams on getting sacked.

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Categories: From the Commish | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, stat change

Week Three Stat Change [Keeley Hazell]

Posted on September 26, 2008 by Post Mortem
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My other lingerie covers even less of me

My other lingerie covers even less of me

View the Stat Change News Feed at MyFantasyLeague

Note: I have set the league site setting to automatically apply stat changes as they are loaded onto the myFantasyLeague system.

One stat change this week impacted the final score for Hedfullalicker.

  • A Baltimore sack of Derek Anderson was changed to a -3 yard rushing play. This converted the sack to a tackle, removing one point from Hedfullalicker’s score.

Stat Change Babe

Can you tell that I’m a Keeley Hazell fan? She’s just ridiculouly hot… Here you will find the shots from her 2009 lingerie calendar, in which she strangely seems to be wearing not a lot of underwear… Definitely NSFW so proceed with caution.

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Categories: From the Commish | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, stat change

PFFL Blog – You’ve been subscribed

Posted on August 28, 2008 by Post Mortem
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You wouldn't unsubscribe from me, would you?

You wouldn't unsubscribe from me, would you?

I’ve taken the liberty of subscribing all of you to the PFFL Blog based on your email addresses in myFantasyLeague. Why did I do this?

Well, other than my obvious intent to spam you all, it’s also so you can receive the latest PFFL articles, announcements and updates.

To avoid getting you fired/divorced/etc, the content of the posts is not being sent, only the title and the link to the post itself (at least that’s how I have it configured). Following that link should get you to the blog.

If you don’t like it, you can unsubscribe using the link on the PFFL Blog home page.

Oh, and Keeley and her boobs say “Hi”

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Categories: From the Commish | Tags: Keeley Hazell, PFFL Blog

2008 Week 4 – Preseason Preview

Posted on July 20, 2008 by Post Mortem
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View the 2008 Week 4 GameCenter

Keeley Hazell wearing about as much as you'll ever see her wearing

Keeley Hazell wearing about as much as you'll ever see her wearing

Week 4 will feature 5 inter-divisional matchups. This is an interesting week – Camel Toe and Hedfullalicker will be playing for the 4th time in league history, and that is the smallest number previous meetings for any game in week 4. There are also matchups between the two teams involved in the most lopsided game in PFFL history, and the two teams involved in one of the most (if not the most) lopsided all-time series in the league.

  • DDT vs Post Mortem – These two are meeting for the 8th time. Post Mortem leads the series, 4-3, and has won the last two, including a 58-ish – 45-ish win in week 9 last year. These two seem to play low-scoring affairs, as only 3 times in the previous seven meetings has one of the two teams scored 100+ points.
  • SIAP vs Tappa Kegga Day – Meeting for the 14th time, but only the 2nd since 2002, this is the first of two division matchups for TKD and SIAP this season. As division mates in ’97, ’98, ’99, ’00, and ’02, these two teams typically split their season series (SIAP swept TKD in 2000, otherwise, they were 1-1 against each other every year). TKD beat SIAP in the championship game 10 years ago. Last year, TKD beat SIAP, 87.69 – 55.88, in week 8, and carries a 2-game win streak into this season. SIAP still leads the all-time matchup, 7-6.
  • Kramerica Industries vs Chain Smoking Patch Junkies – With an all-time matchup knotted up at 3 wins apiece, Kramerica and CSPJ will only play once in the regular season this year for the first time in three seasons. Only once has one of these two teams scored 100+ in a game against the other — CSPJ in week 10 of the 2006 season.
  • Double D vs Sharp as a Bowling Ball – Double D leads this matchup, 3-2, but the regular season series is tied at 2 wins each. Double D won the last two meetings, but these two haven’t played in almost 2 full seasons. Their last matchup was in week 5 of the 2006 season.
  • Hedfullalicker vs Camel Toe – In the other division matchup of the week, Hedfullalicker and Camel Toe square off for the 4th time in PFFL history. As division rivals in CT’s first season, Camel Toe beat Hed in week 5 of the 2006 season. Then, Hed beat CT in week 13 of that season, and again in week 7 last year, to claim a 2-1 series lead.
  • The Hip vs The Jedi Masters – Did you know that The Hip and The Jedi Masters have never been in the same division? Neither did I. Until now. 2008 isn’t their year to co-habitate a division either, so they’ll have to settle for this inter-division clash as their 9th all-time meeting. The Jedis have won the last two games (in ’06 and ’07) to close in on The Hip’s 5-3 series lead. Last year’s victory was a bit of a laugher as the Jedi Masters won 159-84 – 36.5 in the biggest victory of any game in PFFL history, like… ever.
  • Turd Ferguson vs Winning Beer Money – This isn’t officially rivalry week, but these two clubs have always shared a bit of a rivalry, at least in words. On the field itself? Well, this one is crazy-lopsided in favor of WBM, by the count of 10-1. Turd’s last win over Winning? Week 5 of the 1999 season, and that win was 75-73. Wanna check out the all-time scoring? Well, WBM leads Turd, 1071.79 – 848.03 in points scored. We’ll see if Turd can put a dent in that this week.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a way-way-way-too-early preview without some Keeley. The next two photos are NSFW, so, wait until you’re at home, then feel free to click below.

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Categories: Preview | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, Preview, schedule

2008 Week 3 – Preseason Preview

Posted on April 27, 2008 by Post Mortem
1 comment

View the 2008 Week 3 Game Center

Week 3 will be a history-making week for PFFL. It will be the first ever official Rivalry Week. Yep, if college can do it, so can we. Most of these rivalries were chosen by your submissions, some were arbitrarily assigned (especially in cases where some of you didn’t submit any rival preferences). Hopefully this will be a fun week:

  • DDT vs CSPJ – This one falls into the arbitrary category, but it has been an interesting matchup over the last 5 years. CSPJ beat DDT in 2003 and 2004, but has lost three straight, including a season division series sweep last year.
  • SIAP vs Double D – These two teams have faced each other every season since DD joined the league. In fact, SIAP was the team that Double D defeated in their first-ever PFFL game. Following that first defeat, SIAP beat DD 3 straight times. The luck ran out there though, as Double D swept SIAP in their 2005 division matchups, and then won in their meetings in ’06 and ’07. 2008 will be the fourth time that they’ve resided in the same division.
  • Kramerica vs Turd Ferguson – Rivals since Kramerica’s entry into the league in 2002, a week 4 win last year gave KI a 4-3 series lead over Turd. This series has been remarkably close over the years, with only 10 points separating the two teams’ point totals in this series.
  • Tappa Kegga Day vs Camel Toe – Calling this one a rivalry is a bit of a stretch, but CT will be looking for revenge from a near-70 point beatdown in their only previous meeting with TKD, in week 6 of the 2006 season.
  • Post Mortem vs The Jedi Masters – The first rivalry to get a name in PFFL, the Britney Bowl is currently tied at 9 wins each. The last meeting between the teams was in the playoff semi-finals last year when PM lost by only 12 to the eventual Super Bowl champs. In 12 of their 18 meetings, the victor has scored 100+ points. In fact, in 7, the loser has scored 100+.
  • Hedfullalicker vs The Hip – Thanks to wins in the first three meetings (in ’97 and ’98), The Hip leads this series 9-5. Since The Hip’s win in week 15 of 2002, however, the winner of these matchups has altternated by game. If form holds, Hedfullalicker is due to win this game.
  • SaaBB vs Winning Beer Money – For the first time since 2000, these two teams are in the same division. WBM currently leads the series 5-4-1. The last two meetings have featured scores from both the winner and loser in the 100′s.

Per the way-way-way-too-early preview tradition, more Keeley Hazell pics for this preview. More from this series can be found here. Anyone else thirsty for a Coke?

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Categories: Preview | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, Preview, schedule

2008 Week 2 – Preseason Preview

Posted on February 16, 2008 by Post Mortem
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View the 2008 Week 2 GameCenter

936_keeley_fhm04.jpgAfter week 1′s five division games, week 2 will feature 4 more as teams look to get a jump start on their respective division races before the dreaded bye weeks begin. One matchup will be the 15th all-time meeting between the clubs involved, another the 14th, and yet another the 12th. As the icing on the cake of these double-digit meetings, we get a 2007 Super Bowl rematch in that series’ 10th meeting.

  • DDT and Double D will each be playing their 2nd division games in only their fourth meeting ever. This is the first time they have resided in the same division. After Double D won the first meeting in 2003, DDT has taken the last two.
  • SIAP and Winning Beer Money meet in a non-division matchup that is also the 15th meeting ever between their teams. WBM leads the all-time series, 9-5. As division rivals in 2007, these two split their season series. In week 2 last year, WBM beat SIAP, 117-87.57.
  • In a rematch of PFFL Super Bowl XII, The Jedi Masters and Kramerica will square off for the 10th time in league history. TJM owns the series advantage, 6-3, but Kramerica won their only previous week 2 meeting, in 2005.
  • After splitting a division series last year, Hedfullalicker and Tappa Kegga Day will meet for the 14th time. Interestingly, they did not meet in the inaugural PFFL campaign in ’97, but they’ve met at least once each season since then. TKD owns the series, 10-3.
  • Post Mortem and The Hip share a division for the first time since 2002 after not playing each other at all in 2007. This is the 12th meeting (including 2 playoff matchups) in a series that Post leads 7-4. These two met in week 2 of the first ever PFFL season, with PM winning, 101-73.
  • CSPJ and Sharp as a Bowling Ball are division mates for the second consecutive year, and fifth time in six years. In fact, the only non-division meeting they’ve ever played? It was a playoff game during 2004, when they were in the same division anyway. The series is tied, 4-4-1.
  • Camel Toe and Turd Ferguson share a division for the first time after splitting non-division week 8 meetings each of the last two seasons.

Official Way-way-waaaaaaaaaay Early Preview Babe Keeley Hazell is back this week with a couple pictures from her early years of like, 2005. I believe she was either 18 or 19 at the time these pics were snapped. She wears less clothes when you click for more.

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Categories: Preview | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, Preview, schedule

2008 Week 1 – Preseason Preview

Posted on February 6, 2008 by Post Mortem
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View the 2008 Week 1 GameCenter

58440_keeley_hazell_15_123_1111lo.jpg5 Division matchups, one 2007 semi-final rematch, and the first of two meetings between the last two PFFL champs highlight the start of the 2008 season.

  • DDT and SIAP played in the final regular season week of 2007. They play again to start 2008. This will be their ninth meeting. They were also in the same division in 2006, with SIAP sweeping the season series.
  • Kramerica and SaaBB played in the 2007 semi-final round, with Kramerica prevailing on the way to their first-ever Super Bowl appearance. SaaBB won the first five meetings between the teams, but Kramerica has taken the last two.
  • TKD and Double D are in the same division for the third straight year. DD has won the last three, and absolutely owns TKD in the overall matchup, 7-1.
  • Post Mortem meets CSPJ for the sixth time. PM is 3-0 in weeks 1-9, while CSPJ is 2-0 in week 10+. This is week 1.
  • Hedfullalicker and Turd Ferguson square off for the 12th time, and will be in the same division for only the second time (the last was 2003). Hed has used a four-game win streak over Turd to take the series lead, 6-5. Turd’s last wins? Those 2 division games in ’03.
  • The ’06 and ’07 PFFL champions will kick off the season with their first division meeting of the 2008 season. The Jedi Masters and Winning Beer Money were in the same division twice previously, in 2003 (they split) and 2005 (a Jedi sweep). For WBM, this is a familiar opponent — their last two games were against TJM (a loss in the regular season finale and a loss in round 1 of the playoffs).
  • The Hip and Camel Toe are division rivals for the first time, but have played in each of the last two years, splitting those two matchups.

Pics: I’ve decided that Keeley Hazell deserves a special role in PFFL. I didn’t want to make her our mascot though, since losing that job apparently makes you crazy. So, she is now our official way-way-waaaaaaaaaay early preview babe. Each preview will contain one pic at the start of the article that won’t get you fired and one more after the jump with the good stuff. Enjoy.

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Categories: Preview | Tags: 2008, Keeley Hazell, Preview, schedule
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