Highlights

• Camel Toe got their season off to a good start with a division win over CSPJ, ending a three game losing streak to the Smokers.
• Tappa Kegga Day needed every single one of their weekly high point total to beat Double D. This was TKD’s third straight win over the D’s.
• The Jedi Masters were one of three teams to win this week despite scoring fewer than 80 points. This was their fourth straight win over The Hip, and it ties the all-time series at five wins each.
• Winning Beer Money rode the domination of the Eagles defense to a big opening week win over Post Mortem. WBM leads this series 6-3, but this is their first victory over PM since 2004.
• SIAP notched the third lowest point total of the week. And won. Turd helped them out by having a terrible first game, as they dropped their fourth straight to the Pissers. SIAP leads this matchup 11-6.
• Hedfullalicker just narrowly snuck by DDT, winning by 1.85 points. It’s Hed’s second straight win over DDT and gives ‘licker a 6-5 career matchup advantage.
• In another close game, Kramerica beat SaaBB in the first week of the season for the second straight year. SaaBB hopes that it works out like last year and they get to face KI in the postseason.

Record Watch

Note: All player scoring records cover the period of 2004 to the present only

• Hedfullalicker became the third team in PFFL history to win 50 division games. It took 95 games for Hed to accomplish the feat, only 5 fewer than Post Mortem and SIAP.
• DDT is the 12th team in the league to lose 50 regular season games. Taking 113 games to reach the mark is a great accomplishment, tied for 2nd slowest time to lose 50 with SaaBB. SIAP took 116 games to lose this many.
• The Eagles 38.7 point output is the most ever by a starting defense (the Seahawks scored 46 on DDT’s bench in 2005).
• The 42.9 points by Drew Brees is the 7th most ever by a QB on a roster
• Hedfullalicker beat DDT by 1.85 points. That seems like a close game right? Well, it’s actually the 7th closest week 1 game in PFFL history.
• Drew Brees, Adrian Peterson and the Philly D posted the 1st, 3rd and 4th highest week 1 point totals ever (Tony Romo is 2nd on the list with his 2007 week 1 performance)

PFFL Survivor

View the Current Survivor Standings

Eliminated: Turd Ferguson
Won Immunity: Tappa Kegga Day

TKD beat WBM by 0.6 points to claim immunity in the first week of PFFL Survivor. Turd Ferguson was not nearly as fortunate, as a league-low 53.5 point output got them kicked off in a hurry.

Recap Babe

Have you heard of Megan Fox? I hear she’s pretty. Some even say she’s the hottest girl on the planet. My guess is that she shows up on this blog again this year.

A little video clip from her new movie:

…and some pics

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View the Week Two Automated Recaps at MyFantasyLeague

Megan admires the Jedis week 2 performance

Week 2 Highlights

• DDT improved to 2-0 with a 40-point win over Double D. This is DDT’s third straight win over DD and gives them a 3-1 all-time lead.
• SIAP snuck by WBM in a 99.7 – 90 thriller. Both teams are now 1-1. WBM still leads the career matchup, 9-6.
• The Jedi Masters got huge performances from a number of players on the way to a 60-point win over Kramerica. The Jedis have won 7 of 10 career meetings with KI. Both teams are .500.
• Hedfullalicker remained undefeated with an 8-point win over TKD in the closest game of the week. Hed has never beated TKD after week 7 and trails the all-time matchup, 10-4.
• Post Mortem withstood a Monday surge from The Hip to hold onto a 12 point victory and remain undefeated. This is Post’s 3rd straight win over the Hipsters, and PM leads the career series 8-4.
• SaaBB broke the century mark in scoring in a 40-point win over CSPJ, and now leads the series 5-4-1.
• Camel Toe managed to undercut their week one scoring output, posting only 39.43 points this week in a losing effort. Turd Ferguson, despite scoring less than 80, was the beneficiary and improved to 1-1. Turd also has a 2-1 series lead.

Record Watch

• The Jedi Masters became the 8th team in PFFL history to record 10 career high point weeks.
• The Jedi Masters notched their 80th all-time regular season win this week, putting them in 5th place on the career list (4 ahead of both The Hip and WBM).
• Meanwhile, The Hip now has 80 career regular season losses, tops in the league.
• DDT became the fastest team to 10,000 points in all (regular + post season) games. It took them 109 games to get there, 2 faster than Post Mortem.

Week 2 Records
(record setting performances in week 2 only)

• The Jedi Masters’ 136.71 points is the third highest total ever in week 2, and the highest week 2 output since Post Mortem scored 127.94 in 2005
• The Post Mortem – Hip and Jedi – Kramerica matchups are the 6th and 10th highest scoring week 2 games, respectively
• The Jedi’s 60.13 point win is the 4th largest victory margin in week 2 history

Odds and Ends

• Post Mortem has been the 2nd highest point scorer in both weeks 1 and 2 this season. Fortunately, unlike the season that I will never ever stop talking about, I didn’t lose both of these games.
• Camel Toe has scored 88.96 points for the season. 6 of the 14 PFFL teams have exceeded that total in each of their first two games (Jedi, Post, DDT, SIAP, Hed, WBM). Ouch.

PFFL Survivor

I neglected to cover Survivor in week one, and it’s too bad, because it was one of the closest eliminations ever. Winning Beer Money was the high point winner in week one and got week two immunity. On the other end of the spectrum, on Tuesday morning, SaaBB had 49.79 points and Camel Toe had 49.78 (Camel Toe actually lost 0.25 points via stat change later in the week to make this slightly less close). Camel Toe was the first team voted off the PFFL island.

In week 2, The Jedi Masters are your immunity winners with a season high single game point total. At the bottom? Double D’s 60.02 points earned them an early season elimination from Survivor.

View the current Survivor standings

Recap Babe

Even if you’re a terrible actress and you like tattoos a little much for my taste, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get a spot as a recap babe if you admit to a lesbian relationship with a stripper while you were a teenager, like Megan Fox did in the latest GQ.

“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided—oh man; sorry, Mommy!—that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop [a strip club on Sunset Boulevard]. I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita. I was there all the time—I would go there by myself. I bought her things—perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man. I felt like I had this need to save Nikita. I’d get lap dances so I could get to know her, and I’d give her what I thought were great little sound bites of inspiration—like You can do it, you’re better than this! I didn’t want her to be there.”

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Megan Fox looks over Post Mortem's cheatsheet

This is also serving as a way for me to test out a new image gallery plugin. So far, it’s fantastic.

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Something interesting that I didn’t notice until after the round 1 action was complete: Every round 1 matchup featured a former league champion playing a team that has never had their team name engraved on the PFFL trophy. Oddly enough, all four former champions lost. Wild.

On to the week 15 action:

• The Jedi Masters won their 13th straight game, defeating Winning Beer Money for the second week in a row. This matchup featured two of the three lowest scores among the playoff teams this week. The Jedis have now beaten WBM five straight times, and own an 8-2 advantage overall.
• In the closest game of the week, SaaBB beat SIAP by 0.68 points. SaaBB now leads the all-time matchup 7-6, while these two have split their two playoff showdowns.
• Kramerica Industries continued their impressive late season surge this week, knocking off a very hot TKD team by nearly 27 points. This is pretty impressive for a team that was still getting used to the title of “division champ.” This is Kramerica’s first victory over TKD since week 2 of the 2002 season, but it ties the career matchup at two wins apiece.
• In the only first round game featuring teams from the same division, Double D did in fact succumb to the old “it’s tough to beat the same team three times in one season” thing. After sweeping Post Mortem with ease during the regular season (and every time they’ve met since week 2 of the 2005 season), DD was eliminated from the playoffs by 13 points. Post did it without a single starter scoring a touchdown as well (as noted by Double D’s e-mail of frustration on Tuesday morning). DD still leads the all-time series 8-2, but the playoff matchup is now knotted at one each.

Records

• The 131.37 points scored by The Jedis and WBM makes it the 6th lowest scoring playoff game in PFFL history. The lowest? WNFL’s 71-50 win over The Dark Side in 1999. Oddly, The Jedi Masters have been involved in 4 of the top 10 lowest scoring postseason games.
• SaaBB’s 0.68 point win over SIAP is the smallest playoff victory margin ever, sneaking ahead of WBM’s 1.15 point win in the 2006 championship game. These two are no strangers to close playoff games. Both SaaBB and SIAP have been in four of the 12 closest postseason games.
• The Jedi Masters scored the third fewest points ever in a playoff win, while Post Mortem grabbed the #7 spot on that same list.
• SaaBB moves into a tie for 2nd with 8 career playoff victories. The Jedi Masters are alone in 5th with 6, and Post Mortem is now tied for 6th with 5.
• WBM, TKD and SIAP are all tied for 6th all-time with 5 career playoff losses.
• In career playoff record updates (for the losers):
  • Double D is now 5-3
  • SIAP is now 10-5
  • TKD is 8-5
  • WBM is 3-5

Toilet Bowl

• The Hip beat Camel Toe, 126.11 – 110.73 to advance to face DDT. Camel Toe is now 0-2 against The Hip (and overall) in Toilet Bowl games.
• Turd Ferguson beat CSPJ, 85.99 – 60.3 for the right to face Hedfullalicker. CSPJ is now 0-2 in the Toilet Bowl, all-time.

Megan Fox (of Transformers “fame”) congratulates all of the round 1 winners.