PFFL Blog

Congratulations to Hedfullalicker, the PFFL Super Bowl XV champion.

But, my tight end got the single season TE receiving yards record and yours came in second. So there.

I’ll post some additional historical stuff when I get over the fact that Post Mortem is now the only remaining original franchise without a championship. Feels great to come in 2nd. Totally. *(@#$&@(*#&

Also… final dollar winnings have been tabulated and can be viewed here (“Total Winnings” is the amount of money you currently have in your PFFL balance)

Congratulations to Kramerica, The Hip, TKD, Hedfullalicker and me for making money this year (and to Double D for breaking even).

Please let me know if you would:

like your winnings paid out in full (please specify a method: PayPal, check in the mail, in person)
like to bank your winnings for the 2012 season
a combo of those two choices

If I don’t hear from you, your winnings will be automatically banked.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Playoffs, Recap

2011 Playoff Semi-Final Recap/Championship Preview

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Post Mortem

It’s championship week in PFFL for the fifteenth time. Yep, FIFTEEN. And this year’s champ will be a first-timer who has been competing in all fifteen of those seasons. Hedfullalicker and Post Mortem are the only two franchises among the six charter league members still active in PFFL without a title. After this week, there will be only one left with an empty trophy case.

Playoff Semi-Final Highlights

Hedfullalicker beat Kramerica by 20 to reach the championship game for the second straight season. This is the second week in a row where ‘licker defeated a team they had also swept in division play. Kramerica has now lost 7 in a row to Hedfullalicker, dating back to 2005.
In the other semi-final, Post Mortem led throughout, then held on while The Hip had half their team playing on Monday night. In the end, Post prevailed, winning by 32. Post Mortem now leads the postseason series with The Hip, 2-1, and overall 10-5.

Playoff Records and Milestones

Post Mortem broke the 1500 postseason points barrier this week, and sits as the 4th highest scoring postseason team, despite a 7-10 playoff record
Post Mortem is making their second championship game appearance. They are 0-1.
Hedfullalicker is making their third championship game appearance. They are 0-2.
Kramerica is the 13th team in PFFL history to lose 5 postseason games

Toilet Bowl Update

DDT beat SaaBB
Turd Ferguson beat Camel Toe
It’s DDT vs Turd Ferguson for the Toilet Bowl title

PFFL Super Bowl XV Preview

Hedfullalicker vs Post Mortem — two original franchises, three previous championship appearances, zero titles
Post Mortem leads the overall series 14-8
Hedfullalicker beat Post in week 6, 89.23 – 71.84, their second straight win over Mortem
These two have met once before in the playoffs, in 2006. In the first round that year, Hedfull won 85.04 – 72.37
It used to be a guarantee that if you lost your first championship game, you would win the next time you made it to the title game. That changed last year when Hedfullalicker became the first team to record an 0-2 record in the championship round.
Only three teams (Hed, TKD and SIAP) have lost more than one championship game. Only SIAP has lost three. Either Hedfullalicker will join SIAP with 3 losses or Post Mortem will join this club with two.

PFFL Babe of the Week

Maria Menounos spent her holiday playing some football on the beach.

Categories: Preview, Recap | Tags: 2011, Maria Menounos, Playoffs, Preview, Recap

2011 Week 15 (Playoff Week 1) Recap

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Post Mortem

Off the football topic for a bit, it’s Christmas time. I hope all of you have a great Christmas holiday with your family and friends. Travel safe, don’t drink and drive, and spoil your kids (if you don’t have kids of your own, spoil someone else’s).

And… just like that we are down to four teams left to battle for the championship. Three of those teams have never won a title, while The Hip has two on their resume, but they’re from like, way back in the the 2000-zeroes.

Playoff Week 1 Highlights

Top seeded Hedfullalicker easily dispatched of the upset-minded Chain Smoking Patch Junkies. The win gives Hedfull the rare three-game sweep of a team in one season. This is Hedfullalicker’s third first round win ever in the playoffs. In both previous visits to the final four, they have advanced to the championship, only to wind up in 2nd place. CSPJ is now 0-6 in the postseason all-time.
Double D was also attempting to achieve the three-game sweep, but failed, losing to The Hip in one of the week’s two high-scoring matchups. The defending champs will not be getting their repeat as DD lost in the first round for only the third time in their 7 playoff appearances. The Hip advances to the semi-finals for the first time since 2003. They are 2-2 in the 2nd round, and 2-0 when they advance to the title game.
Post Mortem won their second game against SIAP this year, and their first ever in the postseason, knocking out the former two-time champs by just over 2 points. Post Mortem makes it to the semis for the first time since 2007. Mortem is only 1-3 in semi-final games. SIAP is one-and-done for only the fourth time in their 11 playoff appearances.
Kramerica beat Tappa Kegga Day for the second time this year, and the second time in two playoff meetings, in another game with both teams scoring 100+. Kramerica is now 3-4 in postseason play and can move to .500 if they take down the top seed next week. TKD is out in round one for the second straight season, but only the 4th time in their 9 playoff appearances.

Postseason Records and Milestones

The 225.31 points scored by The Hip and Double D are the 10th most scored in a playoff game
Post Mortem’s 2.66 point win over SIAP is the 8th closest playoff game in league history, and the third time that SIAP has lost by less than 3 points in the postseason. SIAP does have the closest win in playoff history though, so it’s not like they can’t win the close ones.
TKD and Double D join the list of teams scoring the most points in a losing postseason effort, coming in at 4 and 7 on that list, respectively.
Hedfullalicker became the fourth team to score 20,000 points in all games (regular season + playoffs)
Double D became the 12th team to record 5 playoff losses
Combined number of postseason wins by the playoff winners this week (including this weeks’ games): 23. Combined number of postseason wins by the playoff losers this week: 34
SIAP joins Hedfullalicker and SaaBB in 2nd on the list of most playoff losses ever, with 9. Post Mortem leads with 10, and would be very happy to be tied with someone at the end of this season.

Semi-Final Preview

Hedfullalicker will try to get a three-game-sweep of another East Division rival in the first semi-final. They beat Kramerica 63.03 – 45.53 in week 8, then won much more handily in week 13, 130.45 – 86.3. Kramerica’s last win over ‘licker came in 2005. Hed has won the last six and leads the all-time series 8-2 and this is their first ever postseason meeting.
The Hip defeated Post Mortem, 113.71 – 68.67, back in week 5. That was their first win over Mortem since 2003 in a series Post leads 9-5. This is their third postseason matchup. The Hip beat PM in round 1 on their way to a championship in 2003. Mortem beat The Hip in 2005 in the first round.

Toilet Bowl Update

Turd Ferguson beat The Jedi Masters by a lot
DDT beat WBM in a game with fewer total points combined than Turd scored alone.
In the Toilet Semis: DDT vs SaaBB and Turd vs Camel

Recap Babe

Melanie Iglesias was the 2010 Maxim Hometown Hottie. Now, she apparently makes flip book style videos and puts them on YouTube, which is cool.

Merry Christmas!

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Melanie Iglesias, Playoffs, Recap

2011 Week 14 Recap

Posted on December 15, 2011 by Post Mortem

stacy_keibler_naked_ass_book_culo_by_mazzucco

Another regular season has come to a close. The week 14 action was incredibly anti-climactic as all of the teams above the cut line remained made it in, while SaaBB’s last minute bid to spoil things for CSPJ failed. However, there was a lot of movement among the seeds, so we’ll see who benefits most from their seeded opponents in the first round of the postseason. There are a lot of record updates below as well, including a couple that I found shocking (see Gronkowski, Rob).

Week 14 Highlights

For two teams already eliminated from the postseason, Camel Toe vs Winning Beer Money was the week’s highest scoring matchup. Toe prevailed to earn a season split with WBM and even up their all-time matchup at 3-3.
Tappa Kegga Day seems to have shaken off their mid-season slump, securing a third straight win by completing the season sweep of Turd Ferguson. TKD leads this series 11-8.
CSPJ locked up their spot in the post season in a must-win game over a struggling Jedi Master team. This is CSPJ’s 5th straight win in a series they lead 7-4.
Hedfullalicker completed their impressive regular season with a season sweep earning victory over DDT. Hed now leads this matchup 9-7, but has been outscored overall by DDT by 25 points, for whatever that’s worth.
Post Mortem put up 114 points, but couldn’t keep pace with Kramerica’s 128 this week. It’s Kramerica’s second consecutive win over Mortem and they lead this series 5-3.
Double D used a 5-game season-ending win streak to win the Central division title. For SIAP, their depleted RB corps led to a 3-game losing streak and the loss of a division crown that seemed assured in week 10. DD now leads this matchup 8-7.
SaaBB did what they needed to do to get a playoff spot, beating The Hip by 40. However, CSPJ did not comply with their side of the calculation and SaaBB now has to be content with the top seed in the Toilet Bowl. SaaBB now leads this all-time series 11-10 after the season split.

Week 14 Records/Milestones

Winning Beer Money scored 130.8 points this week. And lost. That’s the second highest score ever in a losing effort (behind only the 140 that Hedfullalicker scored in a 2000 loss to Post Mortem)
The Camel Toe – WBM matchup is also the second highest scoring game in league history, totaling 271.78 points
Rob Gronkowski’s 31 point week is the 3rd best single game performance by a TE in the player stats era
The Jacksonville Jaguars Defense/Special Teams’ point total of 34.98 this week is the 7th best game by a defense

Regular Season Records/Milestones

Hedfullalicker’s 12 wins is tied with 4 others for second most in a single season. It is also the highest win total in Hedfullalicker team history
Tappa Kegga Day’s league leading 1483.75 points is good for 8th highest in a single season
Winning Beer Money had 1526.89 points scored against them this season. That is the highest points allowed in PFFL history. Camel Toe’s 1446.09 points allowed comes in 4th on that list.
Double D won their last 5 games of the season en route to a division title. That ties them with 4 other teams for the 4th best finish to a season
Both Winning Beer Money and The Jedi Masters lost their final 5 games, tied for 5th worst season finish
Post Mortem continues to lead all teams in regular season wins, with 122. However, Hedfullalicker has now tied SIAP for 2nd on that list with 113.
The Hip has a commanding lead in most career regular season losses, with 112. SaaBB and Turd are in 2nd with 103.
Double D’s .587 winning percentage in the regular season is tops among active teams, but Post Mortem is only 4 points back at .583
Post Mortem is the only PFFL team above 19000 regular season points, but a bunch of other teams will likely get there next season.
Post Mortem has also reclaimed the even more prestigious (since not all franchises have been around for 15 years) points per game mark. Mortem has averaged 92.0 points per regular season game, just ahead of DDT’s 91.8.
The Jedi Masters continue to be the league leader in division play, with a .577 winning percentage there
Post Mortem also remains atop the high point week leader board with 22.5, with SIAP (20) and Hedfullalicker (19) just behind
Aaron Rodgers scored 407.15 points this season, 2nd only to Tom Brady’s 410.15 in 2007 (only 1 of the top 10 is a RB, Tomlinson’s amazing 2006 campaign)
Drew Brees, Tom Brady and Cam Newton are numbers 5-6-7 on that list
The Baltimore Ravens turned in the 10th best season by a defense ever
Dan Bailey (who has actually been on two teams this year) scored 147.8 points, the best year for a kicker (on a roster) in the stats era. Mason Crosby is 3rd and John Kasay is 9th on the kicker season scoring list
LeSean McCoy was the top RB on the year, and is 9th all-time in RB season scoring with 265.2 points
Rob Gronkowski had a TE season for the ages, scoring 217 points, nearly 47 more than Jimmy Graham, who actually had the 2nd best TE season ever. For comparison, remember that Antonio Gates guy? He has 5 of the top 10 TE seasons in PFFL history. Well… in his best year (2005), he scored 165
Wes Welker (212.1) and Calvin Johnson (198.2) notched the 5th and 6th best WR seasons in the stats era
Drew Brees continues to be the career player scoring leader, but we have a new entrant to the top 20. Aaron Rodgers has scored almost 1400 points, good enough for 17th on the list. Tony Romo, in the 13th spot with 1540 points, is the only other player in the top 17 whose first PFFL season was later than 2004.

PFFL Survivor – Finale

This wasn’t even close. Hedfullalicker beat The Hip 231-ish to 143-ish in their 2 week battle for Survivor. Hed wins $100, Hip gets $40 for making it this far.

Season High Points and High Points Against

Nothing changed in these two races this week. Tappa Kegga Day is the season high points champ, and WBM’s record setting points allowed total gives them the money for high points against. We won’t know the specific amount that WBM wins until January 1 when the final month of interest is applied in the PFFL bank account.

Playoff Preview

#1 seeded Hedfullalicker takes on 8th-seeded CSPJ. This is the first ever postseason meeting between these two clubs, but they have some recent regular season history as they both come from the East division. Hedfullalicker swept the season series with CSPJ, winning in week 2 by only three points, and again in week 9 by 24. Hedfullalicker enters with a 4-9 all-time record in the postseason – a history that includes two championship game losses and 7 first round defeats. CSPJ, meanwhile, is making their sixth playoff appearance (and third in a row), but has never won a game.
#2 seed Double D will battle 7th seed The Hip in a rematch of the 2003 championship game. Another matchup of division rivals from this season, Double D swept the series. In week 1, it was DD by 9 and in week 6, DD came out on top by a margin of 21. In their only other postseason meeting, The Hip won that championship, 85-71. Double D is making their 7th playoff appearance and is 4-2 in the first round. They are also the defending champions. The Hip returns to the postseason for the first time since 2005 (like Double D, they made the postseason 7 of their first 9 seasons. DD probably doesn’t want to match the 5-year drought that came next though) and hasn’t won a playoff game since their championship win over DD in 2003. Both teams are looking to become the first 3-time champion in PFFL history.
#3 seed Post Mortem will battle #5 SIAP in their third all-time playoff meeting. SIAP has won both previous postseason matchups, 116-80 in the 2000 semi-finals and 104.03 – 87.89 in the first round in 2008. These two met once this season, just 3 weeks ago, with Post Mortem coming out on top 87.41-72.09. This is Post’s 6th playoff appearance in the last 7 years, but they haven’t won a first round game since 2007 and are only 5-10 overall in playoff games. SIAP is one of the most successful postseason teams in league history, compiling a 14-8 overall playoff record, including two championships in FIVE championship game appearances. This is SIAP’s fifth straight playoff appearance and second straight #6 seed.
#4 seed Kramerica will take on #5 seed Tappa Kegga Day in the final postseason game. These two teams met in week 7 with Kramerica winning 97.97-78.69 to secure the tiebreaker that handed them the home field advantage in this game. They also have met once before in the playoffs, matching up in the first round of the 2007 playoffs with Kramerica prevailing 110.26 – 83.48. KI is making their 4th playoff appearance in 5 years, but has only won one first round game (against TKD in ’07) on their way to a 2-4 overall postseason record. TKD is in the postseason for the 6th time in 7 years, holds two league championships on the way to an overall 11-6 postseason record, but only has one first round win in their last four playoff appearances.

Some playoff stats:

Post Mortem and SIAP continue to lead the league with 11 playoff appearances, while Hedfullalicker pulls into a 3rd place tie with SaaBB at 10
Double D has made it to the postseason in 7 of their 9 seasons, the best frequency among active teams
Post Mortem is tied with TKD and the Jedi Masters for most division titles, with 5
SIAP is now tied with Hedfullalicker and SaaBB for most wild card appearances, with 7

Toilet Bowl

There are also two Toilet Bowl matchups this week: The Jedis vs Turd and WBM vs DDT.

PFFL Recap Babe

Butts. From top to “bottom”, Chrissy Teigen alone, then laying on a bed with Stacy Keibler and some other woman, followed by Irina Shayk and an ink blot. Then Stacy Keibler in a very artsily post-processed image, followed by Kate Upton looking pretty darn nice in black and white. And finally, Lady Gaga. All of these images are part of the CULO book, available now on Amazon for your last-minute Christmas shopping needs!

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Chrissy Teigen, CULO, Irina Shayk, Kate Upton, Lady Gaga, Playoffs, Recap, Stacy Keibler

2010 Championship Recap

Posted on January 4, 2011 by Post Mortem

View the Week 17 Game Center

Results

Double D wins their 2nd PFFL championship, defeating Hedfullalicker 104.06 – 78.05. In a trend-bucking turn, Hedfullalicker became the first team ever to drop to 0-2 in championship games. Double D is now 2-1 in championship games.

PFFL Championship History

A little recap of the PFFL championship games of years gone by:

1997	Super Bowl I	The Dark Side def. Tappa Kegga Day 101-50	TKD loses by 51 in the innagural PFFL title game
1998	Super Bowl II	Tappa Kegga Day def. Skens Irish Alley Pissers 109-78	TKD returns to the championship and gets it this time, over SIAP
1999	Super Bowl III	The Fighting Lamas def. Cuttysark, 102-80	In its first season, TFL beats CS by 22
2000	Super Bowl IV	Skens Irish Alley Pissers def. Sharp as a Bowling Ball, 134-94	SIAP returns to the Super Bowl, and gets a win this time by scoring more points than any other team in championship history
2001	Super Bowl V	High Life def. Post Mortem, 110-73	The commissioner’s team makes its first-ever appearance in the championship, but loses to freshman team, HL
2002	Super Bowl VI	The Hip def. Duany Duany Tanning, 110-66	TH dominates DDT to win the title for the first time
2003	Super Bowl VII	The Hip def. Double D, 85-71	TH wins a repeat championship over freshman team DD in a low-scoring matchup.
2004	Super Bowl VIII	SIAP def. The Jedi Masters, 96-86.8	SIAP returned to the championship for the first time in four years, and promptly won their 2nd PFFL title, matching The Hip as the only two-time champs.
2005	Super Bowl IX	Double D def. Tappa Kegga Day, 66.68-64.75	In their second championship appearance, Double D claims the crown in the lowest scoring Super Bowl in PFFL history. TKD falls to 1-2 in championship games.
2006	Super Bowl X	Winning Beer Money def. Hedfullalicker, 101.04 – 99.89	This was both the highest scoring and closest championship game in PFFL history. Both teams were appearing in the first Super Bowl.
2007	Super Bowl XI	The Jedi Masters def. Kramerica Industries, 93.11 – 74.77	The most successful season in PFFL history ends appropriately for The Jedi Masters, as they claim their first league title to conclude a 13-1 season.
2008	Super Bowl XII	Tappa Kegga Day def. SIAP, 79.09 – 78.17	In the closest championship game in PFFL history, TKD became the third franchise to win 2 PFFL championships.
2009	Super Bowl XIII	Sharp as a Bowling Ball def. SIAP, 136.45 – 49.55	One year after the closest championship in league history, SaaBB defeats SIAP in the most lopsided PFFL title game of all time.

Super Bowl Records

Double D’s winning point total is the 6th highest score in championship history
The combined point total of 182.11 makes this the 7th highest scoring Super Bowl matchup ever
The 26.01 point victory margin is the 7th largest ever
Tim Tebow’s 29 point output is the 2nd most by a player since 2004 (behind Larry Johnson’s big game in 2005)
Despite only joining the league in 2003, Double D already has 9 postseason victories, 4th most in PFFL history
Hedfullalicker’s 9th playoff loss is tied with SaaBB for 2nd most ever behind Post Mortem
Double D is 9-4 in the postseason, best among active clubs
Double D joins SIAP, Tappa Kegga Day and The Hip as the only 2-time PFFL champions
Back in week 16, Double D, Hedfullalicker and Winning Beer Money all joined the list of PFFL teams to score 1000 postseason points

Toilet Bowl Championship

The Jedi Masters beat The Hip 77.89 – 68.34 to become the first ever 2-time Toilet Bowl champion.

Franchise Ratings

View Franchise Ratings

Now that the season has concluded, our annual franchise ratings have been updated. Some highlights:

SIAP is the only team to begin and end the year as a five-star team. Post Mortem and The Jedi Masters both fell from 5 to 4.5, while Tappa Kegga Day moved from 4.5 to 5 and Double D rose a full point from 4 to 5.
SaaBB (4.5), DDT (4), Turd Ferguson (1.5), Kramerica (1) and Camel Toe (0) all held steady.
CSPJ’s second straight season with a division title has them continuing on their path upward in franchise rating. This season’s success moved them all the way from 0.5 to 2

Championship Recap Babe

So, yeah, pretty much mailing this one in… Above are some celebrities celebrating New Years in bikinis. The one below is in honor of Camel Toe’s first playoff appearance. It’s the lip slip by Maria Menounos.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Fergie, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Maria Menounos, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Playoff Week 1 Recap

Posted on December 21, 2010 by Post Mortem

For the second straight year, the top two seeds fall in the first round. That means either Double D wins the championship, or a .500 team will take home the title this year.

Playoff Round 1 Highlights

In their first ever PFFL playoff game, Camel Toe came out with a win, taking down top-seeded CSPJ in a defensive battle (if we’re going to be kind). Arian Foster and MJD let down the smokers, as did their decision to start Kerry Collins over Eli Manning. For Camel Toe, it was Chris Johnson living up to his first-pick-overall status with a 22 point performance.
The second overall seed was Tappa Kegga Day. TKD scored the second most points of any playoff team this week. Unfortunately, they were playing Hedfullalicker, who scored the most. For Hed, it was the Michael Vick show, as the comeback player of the year tallied 44 points on his own. TKD countered with a huge game from Jason Witten and a solid effort from Drew Brees, but Terrell Owens’ injury early in his game this week resulted in a goose egg at one WR spot.
After limping into playoff eligibility by winning the god-awful Central division title, Winning Beer Money is now in the final four, courtesy of a 20 point win over SIAP. Peyton Hillis joined the ranks of RBs with successful seasons who came up small in the first round of the postseason. For WBM, it was solid performances from most of their roster that led the way to victory.
In the closest game of the week, Double D made full use of the 2-point Home Field Advantage to beat DDT by just over a point. Jon Kitna is the surprise hero in this win while stalwarts like Tom Brady, Dwayne Bowe and Matt Forte all came up small for DDT.

Playoff Record Watch

The 121.91 total points scored in the Camel Toe – CSPJ game is the 2nd lowest combined point total in PFFL postseason history. You have to go all the way back to 1999′s 71-50 win by WNFL over The Dark Side to find a lower scoring game.
Double D’s 1.18 point win over DDT ranks as the fifth closest game in playoff history.
Two teams joined the top 10 list of fewest points scored in a playoff win this week: Camel Toe is 2nd on that list behind TKD’s ugly first round win over Co-Cheese in 1999, and Double D finds themselves in the top 10 for a second time. They add an 8th ranked point total to their 3rd place score from the 2005 championship game.
Tappa Kegga Day’s 103.44 points is the 6th most points scored in a losing effort in the postseason
Camel Toe is the only active PFFL team with a perfect postseason record. Can they keep it up and win the 2010 championship?
DDT became the 8th team in PFFL history to score 1000 postseason points
CSPJ became the 11th team to lose 5 playoff games

Toilet Bowl Results

Turd Ferguson 119.13 – Post Mortem 103.79 > Both would’ve been strong contenders in the actual playoffs. Instead, Turd continues a march to the toilet.
The Hip 96.04 – SaaBB 87.74 > The Hip has dreams of another Toilet Bowl title to sit on the fireplace next to the one they earned in 2007

Playoff Recap Babes

It’s the playoffs, so you get videos and multiple ladies. First up is a video from Saturday Night Live which features Jessica Alba and Blake Lively in bed. Next is a clip from the movie Black Swan with Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. No boobies or anything here, but I probably wouldn’t watch these with the kids.

I Just Had Sex:

From Black Swan:

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Blake Lively, Jessica Alba, Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Week 14 Recap & Playoff Info

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Post Mortem

Week 14 Highlights

CSPJ wrapped up their season by completing a season sweep of DDT, tying their all-time matchup at 4 wins each
Hedfullalicker beat Double D for the first time since their first meeting back in 2006, earning a season split and crawling back to .500 in the process
Camel Toe beat SIAP for the first time since their first meeting back in 2006, earning a season split and crawling back to .500
SaaBB beat Kramerica to gain a season split in their series and maintain a career lead in their matchup, 8-6
Tappa Kegga Day snuck by The Hip to extend their all-time series lead to 10-5
The Jedi Masters beat Post Mortem in an ugly, low-scoring game that deserves very little to be said about it. It was the Jedis first win over Post since the playoff semifinals in 2007
Winning Beer Money positively destroyed Turd Ferguson to earn the Central division title. The win continues WBM’s completely lopsided performance against Turd, pushing their series lead to 14-2.

PFFL Survivor

Rebounding from their loss last week, CSPJ outscored Double D by over 20 points this week to claim the PFFL Survivor crown and the $100 cash prize that goes with it. Double D’s consolation prize is $40.

Record Watch

The 53.41 points scored by The Jedi Masters this week is the 9th fewest points scored in a win in league history, and the lowest game-winning point total in over 2 years
CSPJ’s 12 wins on the season is tied for 2nd best all-time (The Jedi Masters have the record with 13)
CSPJ ended the season with 1535.18 points, the 5th highest point total in PFFL history
CSPJ became the fifth team in PFFL history to go undefeated in non-division action. They are the first to accomplish the feat since TKD and TJM did it in 2007
Post Mortem extended their losing streak to 6 games this week. That is tied for 10th longest losing streak ever and will carry over to next year
The six-game losing streak to end the season ties Post Mortem with 2 other teams for the 2nd worst finish in league history
CSPJ became the 14th team to reach 10,000 regular season points, take one game more than the three fastest teams
SIAP is now tied with SaaBB and Post Mortem for the most playoff appearances (10) in PFFL history
DDT’s 8th playoff appearance in 10 seasons is the best of any PFFL franchise who played more than one year
Hedfullalicker tied SaaBB’s record for most wild card appearances all-time with 7
The 1372+ points scored against Camel Toe and the 1362+ points scored against DDT are the 8th and 10th highest points allowed amounts ever

Career Record Watch

Despite an awful season, Post Mortem still has a commanding lead in total all-time regular season wins with 113. The closest challenger is SIAP with 105
The Hip’s record 106 regular season losses is 11 more than challenger SaaBB
Post Mortem still has the highest regular season winning percentage (0.579) of active teams, but Double D is closing in fast (0.571)
Post Mortem has 17,936 regular season points, still by far the best in the league, but Hedfullalicker passed The Hip this season into second place on the list
DDT now has the career mark for most Points Per Game with 92.3. Previous leader Post Mortem is now a relatively distant second with 91.5
The Jedi Masters are the league’s best team in division play, with a 0.594 winning percentage

Season High Points & High Points Against

As expected, CSPJ held their wide margin to win the season high points race by over 120 points over runner-up DDT. In the High Points Against battle, we had quite the close finish, with DDT placing 2nd there as well. In the end, it was Camel Toe holding on by 9.4 points. Camel Toe’s prize amount will be determined on Dec 31 when the final interest amount is determined in the PFFL bank account. It’ll likely be a little over $30.

Playoff Qualifiers/Tiebreakers/Seeds

After running all kinds of numbers last week in anticipation of a messy tiebreaker for the final playoff spots, it should come as no surprise that we ended up with the easiest scenario. If your team won 7 games, you are in the playoffs, pure and simple.

CSPJ is your #1 seed as winner of the East and with a league best 12-2 record
TKD is your #2 seed as winner of the West with a 10-4 mark
Winning Beer Money earned the Central Division title and #3 seed with a 7-7 record
Double D, at 9-5, is the best non-division winner in the league and also gets to host a playoff game as the #4 seed
For the #5 seed, DDT beats Hedfullalicker with on the points tiebreaker and SIAP gets past Camel Toe with a better division record. DDT and SIAP did not play, so it comes down to points scored which DDT wins
For the #6 seed, it’s now Hedfullalicker vs SIAP, and SIAP beat Hed in the regular season
For the #7 seed, it’s Hedfullalicker vs Camel Toe. They did not meet this season, so it comes to total points and Hedfullalicker grabs the #7 seed.
Camel Toe is your remaining 7-7 team, earning the #8 seed and their first ever PFFL playoff berth.

Remember, the better seeds (1-4) get home field advantage in this round. That advantage is a free 2 points. Don’t waste it.

All non-playoff teams have had their ability to perform waivers revoked since that privilege is only offered to postseason teams. For those teams in the playoffs, remember the playoff waiver rules:

During the playoffs, only teams in the playoffs may drop players, and free agents can only be picked up to replace an INJURED player. Furthermore, the player must have been active or at the very least, listed as Probable in the week before the free agent acquisition is attempted (no stocking of injured players to make playoff moves).

Recap Babe

Melanie Iglesias is your 2010 Maxim Hometown Hottie winner. She wishes you luck in the playoffs and would like you to stop staring at her boobs.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Melanie Iglesias, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Week 13 Recap and Playoff Possibilities

Posted on December 8, 2010 by Post Mortem

The Central division is officially PFFL’s version of the NFC West, prompting the league office to put “consider changing the playoff seeding (not qualifying — just seeding) process” onto the 2011 PFFL Competition Committee meeting agenda. Of course, this will require an NFL season in 2011.

Week 13 Results

In a possible postseason semi-final preview, Double D beat previously unstoppable CSPJ, earning a split of their season series in the process. Double D leads this overall series 6-3
The Hip continued to make a valiant late season run, winning their third straight with a victory over DDT, splitting their season series and giving the Hip a 9-7 series lead.
Hedfullalicker won a must-win game, beating Turd Ferguson to tie their all-time matchup at 8 wins each
Kramerica earned a season sweep of Camel Toe, their only 2 wins over Toe in 6 tries. Both teams sit at 6-7, on the brink of playoff qualification/heartbreak
Tappa Kegga Day clinched a division title and eliminated SaaBB from playoff contention by sweeping their season series. SaaBB still leads the career matchup, 9-8.
SIAP handed Post Mortem a fifth straight loss on the season, officially ending Mortem’s longshot playoff chances. SIAP now has a 9-8 all-time lead in this series
The Jedi Masters played the role of potential spoiler, beating Winning Beer Money in PFFL’s NFC West. The Jedis are now 5-8, but are 4-1 in the division, with those 4 wins all coming against the two teams who will battle in Week 14 for the Central division title.

PFFL Survivor Finale

Not only did Double D beat CSPJ head-to-head this week, but they also took the lead in the two-week Survivor finale. CSPJ is not out of it by any means, though, as they only need to make up 9 points in Week 14.

High Point Races

CSPJ is going to win the season high points title, unless DDT outscores them by 122 points this week. So yeah, congratulations Smokers.

In the race for most points against, Camel Toe has a commanding 52.48 lead over DDT. DDT faces high point leader CSPJ this week, however, while Toe takes on SIAP. If CSPJ outscores SIAP by 53, Camel Toe is gonna lose this race.

Record Watch

CSPJ has already scored the 10th most points of any team in a single season. If they score 122 points in week 14, they will surpass The Jedi Masters’ record of 1551.91 set in 2007.
CSPJ’s win streak ended this week at 10 games, which will leave them alone in the #4 spot on that list for at least a year.
Congratulations to Double D who became the 13th team in PFFL history to score 10,000 regular season points. They accomplished the feat in 111 games, tying Post Mortem and DDT as the fastest teams to this milestone.
Hedfullalicker won their 100th regular season game this week. They join Post Mortem, SIAP and TKD as the only teams to hit this mark.
In losing to Hedfullalicker, Turd Ferguson became the 4th team in league history to lose 100 overall games
The Jedi Masters’ 1-7 non-division record ties them for 4th on the list of worst non-division records in a season with 4 other teams. Three teams have gone a full season without winning a single non-division matchup (TKD did have a tie back in 2000)
With their joint elimination this week, SaaBB and Post Mortem will remain stuck on a league-leading 10 playoff appearances until at least 2011. SIAP can join them in a tie for the lead in this race by officially qualifying in week 14.
Tappa Kegga Day’s division title is the fifth in franchise history, tied with The Jedi Masters as the only two teams to hit that mark.
CSPJ, meanwhile, has won their second division title (the other was in 2009), tied for 7th all-time

Playoff Outlook & Wk 14 Games to Watch

ALL of the following should be taken as unofficial — there are a lot of combinations that could happen here.

Ok, first off, here’s what we know for sure:

CSPJ is the #1 seed
Tappa Kegga Day is the #2 seed
Double D is the top wild card and #4 seed
Post Mortem and SaaBB are OUT
The winner of the week 14 game between Winning Beer Money and Turd Ferguson will win the Central division and will be the #3 seed

And, I am pretty sure about this:

SIAP is IN
DDT is IN

And now, here’s where things get interesting:

If Hedfullalicker and DDT tie at 7-7 in the East, DDT will win the tiebreaker based on points
If Hedfullalicker and The Hip tie at 6-8 in the East, The Hip will win the tiebreaker based on a better division record
The Jedi Masters swept BOTH Winning Beer Money and Turd Ferguson, so a win for TJM will move them to 2nd place in the Central, ahead of the loser of the WBM-Turd game
If SIAP, Kramerica and Camel Toe tie with 7-7 records, Kramerica wins the tiebreaker based on a 3-1 head-to-head record
If SIAP and Camel Toe are tied, SIAP wins the tiebreaker based on a better division record
If Kramerica and Camel Toe are tied, Kramerica wins the tiebreaker based on a sweep of Toe
Hedfullalicker is in with a win
Hedfullalicker can also qualify with a loss, but that also requires a loss by Kramerica or Camel Toe AND winning a points tiebreaker. It also is going to be much easier if The Hip loses due to the in-division tiebreaker.
Kramerica is in with a win
Kramerica is also in if they lose, AND Hedfullalicker wins, AND SIAP wins, AND Tappa Kegga Day wins, AND The Jedi Masters win
Kramerica can also fall into a points tiebreaker with a loss. The best scenario of they lose is for Camel Toe to also lose, but frankly it’s messy at that point, so they KI should try to score lots of points
WBM can get in with a loss if the following happens: SaaBB, TKD and Post Mortem all win. Otherwise, there are still some scenarios where WBM can get involved in a points tiebreaker, but it requires some very specific result combos
Similarly, Turd Ferguson can get in with a loss, a LOT of help and by winning a points tiebreaker
Camel Toe is in with a win, AND a loss by either Hedfullalicker or Kramerica. If both Hedfull and Kramerica win, Camel Toe is eliminated
Camel Toe qualifies with a loss, AND wins by DDT, Double D, Kramerica, The Hip, The and Jedi Masters — this is because Toe wins a three-way tiebreak with The Hip and The Jedis
Camel Toe can also get involved in a points tiebreaker if they lose, AND BOTH Double D and Kramerica win
The Hip and The Jedi Masters are in similar positions. They absolutely must win, and their only chance of qualification is some help in other games, as well as winning a points tiebreaker
Specifically, The Hip needs wins by all of (DD, CT and SaaBB) or (DD, SIAP, KI, PM and TF) or (SIAP, SaaBB and TF) or (CSPJ, DD, SIAP, KI, TJM and WBM) or (SIAP, WBM, and SaaBB) or (CSPJ, DD, SIAP, KI, PM and WBM) — again, that’s just to get to the points tiebreak
Specifically, The Jedi Masters need wins by all of (DD, CT and SaaBB) or (DD, SIAP and TKD) or (SIAP, SaaBB and TH) or (CSPJ, DD, SIAP, KI, and TH) — again, that’s just to get to the points tiebreak

Recap Babe

Irina Sheik is a supermodel who dates an athlete. How revolutionary.

View the Week 17 Game Center

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Irina Sheik, Playoffs, Recap

2009 Championship Recap [Kate Beckinsale]

Posted on January 6, 2010 by Post Mortem

1 comment

Results

Sharp as a Bowling Ball won their first ever PFFL championship, defeating SIAP, 136.45 – 49.55. SaaBB is now 2-1 against SIAP in the playoffs and 9-7 overall. SaaBB is 1-1 in championship games, while SIAP falls to 2-3.

Super Bowl Records

SaaBB’s 136.45 point output was the most ever in a championship game
SIAP’s 49.55 points are fewest ever in a championship game
The combined point total of 186 actually makes this the fourth highest scoring championship in league history
The 86.9 point victory margin is the most ever in a championship game, over 35 points ahead of the 51-point victory by The Dark Side in Super Bowl I.
It is also the 10th biggest blowout in any PFFL game ever
Arian Foster’s 29.5 point day for SaaBB is the 2nd most points scored by a single player in PFFL Super Bowl history (2004-present only). Only Larry Johnson’s 41.2 points in the 2005 title game was better.
SaaBB now has 12 postseason wins, second only to SIAP’s 14
SIAP is the first team in league history to lose three championships
SaaBB’s 121.73 point average in their three playoff games is the fifth best in PFFL history

Toilet Bowl Championship

Tappa Kegga Day beat Camel Toe, 123.98 – 76.71 to win the Toilet Bowl

Franchise Ratings

View Franchise Ratings

Now that the season has concluded, our annual franchise ratings have been updated. Some highlights:

Post Mortem, SIAP and The Jedi Masters are the only five-star franchises in the league
SaaBB’s championship win has vaulted them up a full rating point to 4.5
Tappa Kegga Day’s poor season dropped them from a five-star rating to 4.5
Double D and DDT held steady as four-star clubs, and Winning Beer Money is a three-star team for the second straight year
The Hip, Hedfullalicker and Turd Ferguson are next, followed by Kramerica, who is slowly rising from their dismal early-franchise performance
CSPJ’s division title has upped them slightly from their zero-star level to 0.5
Camel Toe needs to make the playoffs so they can stop being the lowest rated team in the league

Finances

The season Finance Summary is now complete. In addition, the Finances page now has a Career view. Check it out at your own risk.

Championship Recap Babe

Esquire has named Kate Beckinsale the sexiest woman alive. That’s a fairly lofty title, and I’m not sure she’d be my choice, but I’d let her interview for the job.