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2001 Week 8 Recap

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Post Mortem

The battle of teams with the two best records was pretty ugly. Meanwhile, the division races tightened up in a big way. And two 1-6 teams played each other in the “Suck For Luck” bowl. Oh wait, that probably doesn’t work the same here…

Waiver & Trade Deadline Heads Up

Next week, Thursday night games begin in the NFL. Therefore, our Blind Bid Waiver deadline will move up to Wednesday evening. Again, this is NEXT week — waivers will run at 10 pm on Wednesday nights, starting on November 9th. Every Wednesday for the rest of the year. You’ve been warned.

First Come First Serve waivers will be in effect from 10:30 pm on Wednesday nights all the way until Noon on Sunday. (Except Christmas weekend when most teams are playing on Saturday the 24th — waivers will stop at noon that day). Players playing in Thursday (or Saturday as the case me be) night games are not allowed to be added or dropped following the start of their games.

Also, the Trade Deadline is 7:20 pm (start of the Thursday night game) on Thursday, November 17th.

Week 8 Highlights

With one of their best weeks of the season, Winning Beer Money beat Camel Toe to move into third place in the West. This is WBM’s second straight win over Camel Toe, and they lead the all-time matchup 3-2
Turd Ferguson, who just ended a nice long losing streak last week, now has a win streak going, improving to 2-6 with a win over DDT. This is Turd’s third straight win over DDT, extending their series lead to 7-3. DDT’s last win over Turd happened in 2006.
In a close one, The Hip extended Tappa Kegga Day’s losing streak to 3 games. Both teams now have matching 5-3 records on the season. TKD still leads this all-time series 10-6.
In the 23rd meeting of the storied Post Mortem – Jedi Masters rivalry, it was Post coming out on top for their 4th win in the last 5 meetings between these clubs. Mortem leads this series 13-10 and moves into a first place tie in the West.
SaaBB crushed CSPJ by almost 70 points to get back to .500 on the year. The career matchup between these two is knotted up at 6-6-1.
Hedfullalicker continues to roll, winning their 7th straight game and securing the league’s best record, all despite scoring only 63. Kramerica continued their struggles against ‘Licker, losing for the 5th straight time in the series to fall behind 7-2 all-time. Kramerica’s last victory over Hedfullalicker was in 2005.
SIAP and Double D met in the playoff semi-finals back in 2009. SIAP won that game 93.04 – 92.6. In strikingly similar fashion, SIAP defeated Double D this week 99.14 – 97.54. That result would’ve been reversed if the Steelers D had been able to fall on that late fumble for a touchdown instead of getting a safety. Instead, both teams now sit at 5-3 and are part of a three-way in the Central with The Hip. All time, this series is now tied at 7 wins per team.

Week 8 Records/Milestones

With Double D’s loss this week and Post Mortem’s win, Mortem moves into the top spot on the all-time regular season winning percentage list among active teams with a 0.581 mark, while DD is next at 0.575.
SIAP and Post Mortem both reached the 20,000 points scored mark in all games (regular season + playoffs). SIAP accomplished the feat in 226 games, Post Mortem has had less fortune in the postseason and got there in 219.
SaaBB moves into 5th place all-time with 16 high point weeks.

PFFL Survivor – Week 8

The teams with the two best records in the league were the two lowest scoring teams on Survivor island. Even if Kramerica had outscored Hedfullalicker though, they still would’ve gone home thanks to Hed’s immunity. Meanwhile, SIAP becomes the first team this season to win immunity with fewer than 100 points. (Note: 4 teams scored 100+ points this week, but all of them were previously kicked off the island)

Immunity: SIAP
Eliminated: Kramerica Industries

Still Alive: SIAP, DDT, The Hip, Camel Toe, Tappa Kegga Day, Hedfullalicker

Next Week

Week 9 features a number of games matching teams with losing records against above-500 teams. Opportunity abounds to create some separation, or for the lower teams to make a move.

In the game of the week, Central division co-leaders The Hip and SIAP square off for the first time this year.

PFFL Babe of the Week

Claire Coffee in an Esquire/Me In My Place photo shoot. She’s an actress and she’s on that new show Grimm.

and she made a confession in her underwear:

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Claire Coffee, Recap

2011 Week 5 & 6 Recaps

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Post Mortem

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We’re already 6 weeks into the PFFL season. Next week will mark the halfway point of the regular season. Still a long way to go, but if your team is .500 or better right now, you should be happy because you control your own destiny playoff-wise. No one is out of it yet and no one has locked anything up, however, Turd Ferguson probably isn’t going to get the #1 seed — so that would be a silly bet to make in Vegas.

Week 5 Highlights

Camel Toe extended their losing streak to 4 games, falling to SaaBB for the 6th time in their 7 all-time meetings
Double D won for only the third time ever (10 meetings) over Turd Ferguson, who dropped to 0-5 on the year
Tappa Kegga Day remained undefeated, beating Winning Beer Money by almost 40, and extending their all-time series lead to 11-8
The Hip beat Post Mortem for the first time since 2003, but Mortem still leads the career matchup 9-5
Kramerica won their 3rd straight on the year to improve to 4-1, while CSPJ fell to 1-4. The all-time matchup between these two teams is all knotted up at 5 wins apiece.
SIAP beat DDT for the third straight time, and improved their season record to 4-1. DDT still leads this matchup by a game, 7-6.
Hedfullalicker won their 4th straight after starting the season with a loss, while The Jedi Masters lost their 3rd straight after beginning the year with 2 wins. The career series between these clubs is tied at 8 wins each.

Week 5 Records/Milestones

Turd Ferguson has now lost 7 straight regular season games, dating back to week 13 of last year. That’s tied for 8th longest losing streak in league history.
Sharp as a Bowling Ball became the 5th team in PFFL history to record 100 regular season wins. It took SaaBB 201 games to reach this milestone, the most of any team in the 100 regular season win club. The Hip are now the only original PFFL team yet to hit this mark.

PFFL Survivor – Week 5

Tappa Kegga Day’s 5th straight week with more than 100 points earned them another immunity idol in Survivor, although it seems unlikely at this point that they need it. Meanwhile, CSPJ continued to alternate 100+ and sub-100 point weeks and it caught up to them as their 66.02 point output was the lowest of the remaining Survivors.

Immunity: Tappa Kegga Day
Eliminated: Chain Smoking Patch Junkies

Week 6 Highlights

Camel Toe ended a 4-game losing streak and took down the final undefeated team in the league in the process, beating Tappa Kegga Day by 15. Camel leads this matchup 4-3.
Turd Ferguson remains winless after falling to Winning Beer Money in a close one. If they are betting a case of beer on every meeting, Turd has now bought WBM 15 cases, while WBM has only purchased 2. This might be the most lopsided rivalry in the league.
Hedfullalicker continued their winning streak, improving to 5-1, and dropping Post Mortem to 3-3. This is Hed’s second straight win over Mortem, but Post still leads overall 14-8.
CSPJ beat DDT for the third straight time and now leads this matchup 5-4
The Jedi Masters got back to .500 with a win over SaaBB. SaaBB leads this matchup 11-8, but has lost two straight to the jedis.
Kramerica continued to roll, improving to 5-1 with their 4th straight victory on the year with a 9 point win over SIAP. SIAP still leads the career series 9-4, but has lost two straight to KI.
Double D improved to 5-1, completing a season sweep of division rival The Hip, who fell to 3-3. DD is 6-4 in this matchup all-time.

Week 6 Records/Milestones

Turd Ferguson’s loss this week moved them into a 6-way tie for the third longest losing streak in PFFL history, at 8 in a row. Only Kramerica (9) and WNFL (12) have had longer loss streaks. This is also now the longest losing streak in Turd Ferguson history.
Turd’s 0-6 mark is tied with The Hip (1997) and DDT (2003) for the worst start to a season in PFFL history.
The Jedi Masters became the 6th team in PFFL history to record 100 career regular season wins. Taking 188 games, the Jedis are the third fastest to reach the mark. It should be noted that the Jedis are the first non-original team to reach this mark.
Winning Beer Money became the 7th team in league history to log 50 division wins.
Turd Ferguson joins The Hip as the only two teams in PFFL to have 100 regular season losses.
Tappa Kegga Day became the fourth team to lose 50 division games

PFFL Survivor – Week 6

CSPJ scored 112 points this week, tops in the league. Unfortunately, they were voted out of Survivor last week, so no immunity for them (if only we had some lame Redemption island thing, right? Hmmm… maybe we should?). CSPJ’s loss is Camel Toe’s gain, as they were the only other team in the league to score over 100. Immunity in week 7 is all theirs. Sharp as a Bowling Ball, on the other hand, had the 2nd most points in the league in week 5, but only scored 64 this week. They are out. Even worse for SaaBB? Their remaining 8 opponents have a combined record of 34-14, by far the toughest remaining schedule in the league.

Immunity: Camel Toe
Eliminated: Sharp as a Bowling Ball

PFFL Babe(s) of the Week(s)

Since there two weeks in this recap, it seemed only appropriate that there be two ladies in the pictures. Rosie Jones and India Reynolds won the honor. Who are they? Apparently just your typical British models with huge breasts that don’t mind displaying said huge breasts.

This video is only Rosie Jones, but it does include those boobs, so don’t let your kids watch it.

rosie-jones-sexy-nuts-photoshoot by EgotasticMedia

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, India Reynolds, Recap, Rosie Jones

2011 Week 4 Recap

Posted on October 4, 2011 by Post Mortem

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Now that week 4 is in the books, there is only one undefeated team left in PFFL, as well as only one team still seeking their first victory. Tappa Kegga Day is currently rolling through the league, leading the league in points scored and having under 75 points a week scored against them. Turd Ferguson, meanwhile, needs to find some offense in a hurry or this season is going to be very very long.

Week 4 Highlights

CSPJ picked up their first win of the season, handing Camel Toe its third consecutive loss in the process. This is the second straight year that CSPJ has beaten Camel in week 4.
TKD stayed perfect on the year, crushing Turd Ferguson. TKD leads this all-time series 10-8. Amazingly, this is the 6th time in those 18 games that the loser has scored fewer than 60 points.
Winning Beer Money picked up their first win of the year and handed SIAP its first loss. This was one of the week’s many close games, with WBM winning by 1.26. This is WBM’s 5th straight win in this series, improving their record to 14-6.
Post Mortem snuck by SaaBB by 0.5 points as both teams reached 3-game streaks. It’s also Post’s 6th consecutive win over SaaBB, who have not won a game in this series since 2003!
DDT got their first win, taking down The Jedi Masters by 1.19 points. The Jedis haven’t defeated DDT since 2006. With a 4th win in a row, DDT now leads the series 6-5.
In a rematch of last season’s Championship game, Hedfullalicker got some revenge, crushing Double D by over 60. DD still leads the career matchup 6-3.
Back in 2002, The Hip beat Kramerica in week 3. This is only their fourth meeting since that time, but it is also Kramerica’s fourth win in the series. KI is now 3-1 while The Hip falls to .500.

Week 4 Records/Milestones

SaaBB’s 118.79 points are the 7th most scored in a losing effort in PFFL history
TKD’s 4-0 start trails only 5 other starts to a season in PFFL history. It also matches TKD’s best ever start, from 2006.
Turd Ferguson’s 4-game loss streak to start the year is behind only 6 other teams on the worst start list. It is the worst start ever for Turd.
Winning Beer Money won their 100th overall (regular season + playoff) game. They are the 8th team to do so, and the 2nd non-charter team.
SIAP became the 5th team to lose 100 overall (regular season + playoff) games. It took them 222 games to hit the mark, by far the longest timeframe of the 5 teams in this club.
Aaron Rodgers’ 53 point performance is the 2nd highest point total by a single player in the player stat era (2004+). He trails only the 55.65 points that Michael Vick scored in week 10 last season. Both played for Hedfullalicker when they set their records.
By scoring three touchdowns, the Baltimore defense notched the fourth best defensive team performance in the player stat era

PFFL Survivor – Week 4

Hedfullalicker earned the 17th high point week of their career and earned immunity in Survivor. Meanwhile, after being in the bottom 3 in scoring every week, but staying alive, Turd Ferguson’s time finally ran out and their torch was snuffed.

Immunity: Hedfullalicker
Eliminated: Turd Ferguson

PFFL Babe of the Week

Kate Upton became sort of popular after appearing in this year’s SI Swimsuit issue. She’s also only 19. According to Wikipedia, she was born in St Joseph, Michigan, which is very close to where I got married. Her dad was a senator from Michigan. Also, she was an avid horse rider. She gave up horse riding when the bouncing became too uncomfortable. All but one of those things is true.

Video

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Kate Upton, Recap

2011 Week 3 Recap

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Post Mortem

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The NFL has 3 undefeated teams, PFFL has 3 undefeated teams. The NFL has 5 0-3 teams, PFFL has 4 0-3 teams. The NFL gets billions of dollars a year from their television contracts, PFFL has no outside income. What’s up with that? Are you going to tell me that Tappa Kegga Day, SIAP and Double D are less popular than the Bills, Packers and Lions? You are? Oh… ok.

Week 3 Highlights

SIAP rolled to a 3-0 start, handing Camel Toe their 2nd straight loss of the year after winning in week 1. SIAP leads this series 4-2.
In the lowest-scoring game of this 12-year rivalry, Post Mortem prevailed to move to 2-1, while Turd Ferguson remained winless. The loss ends a 2-game win streak for Turd Ferguson in the all time series. Post Mortem has won 4 of the last 6 meetings and leads the career matchup 11-8
Winning Beer Money got more than doubled up on the scoreboard by Kramerica, posting the lowest point total ever by one team in this rivalry. Kramerica now leads the series 9-5 and has won 5 of the last 6 meetings.
Tappa Kegga Day won out in a battle of undefeateds as The Jedi Masters struggled to find points. This is TKD’s third straight win in the series and it gives them a 10-9 overall lead.
Double D remained undefeated while dropping CSPJ to 0-3. DD is 7-3 in this matchup all-time.
DDT put up 90 points, but still couldn’t get their first win of the season, falling to Hedfullalicker by 8. Hedfull leads this all-time matchup, 8-7
In the 20th meeting ever between The Hip and SaaBB, it was The Hip’s turn to take home the win. This series is now all square at 10 wins each.

Week 3 Records/Milestones

Congratulations to The Hip, who won their 100th overall game this week. They are the last of the six remaining charter league members to reach the mark, and the 7th team overall (The Jedi Masters reached the mark last year). The Hip is still 8 regular season wins away from 100 in that category.
Tappa Kegga Day’s 16th high point week moves him into a tie with Hedfullalicker behind Post Mortem and SIAP for most ever.
Dan Bailey’s 21.4 points are the 9th most by a starting kicker in the player stat era
That huge game for Wes Welker? His 38.6 points are only the 8th most by a starting WR in the player stat era

PFFL Survivor – Week 3

Tappa Kegga Day had high points in the league this week and wins immunity. Meanwhile, The Jedi Masters had the 2nd lowest point total of the week, but the only team lower got the boot in week 2. So, the Jedis are… out.

Immunity: Tappa Kegga Day

Eliminated: The Jedi Masters

PFFL Babe of the Week

Mila Kunis. Does there have to be a reason?

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Mila Kunis, Recap

2011 Weeks 1/2 Recap

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Post Mortem

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Here’s what happened in the first two weeks of the PFFL season

Week 1 Highlights

Camel Toe beat Turd Ferguson by almost 10, winning their third straight season opener. Side note: In 7 matchups, neither of these two teams has ever scored 100 points
SaaBB beat Winning Beer Money for the 8th consecutive time, extending their series lead to 11-5-1.
Tappa Kegga Day beat Post Mortem for the first time since 2003
SIAP beat CSPJ for the third straight time and now leads their all-time matchup, 4-3
Kramerica crushed DDT by 50 to take a 6-5 series lead
Double D beat The Hip for the third straight time in the second highest scoring meeting of their 9-game career series
The Jedi Masters knocked off Hedfullalicker in their first meeting since 2008, and now leads this series, 8-7

Week 1 Records/Milestones

Dating back to last season, Post Mortem has now lost 7 games in a row. That ties the mark for 8th longest losing streak, and is the worst streak of ever for Mortem
Chad Henne’s 41.7 point performance is the 9th highest score by a benched player (3rd most at the QB position) in the player stats era
Cam Newton’s 37.9 point performance is the 9th highest score by a benched QB in the player stats era
Steve Smith’s (Carolina) 32.8 points is the 8th most by a benched WR in the player stats era
Kramerica’s 138.67 points is the 4th most ever in week 1
Tom Brady’s 43.15 points is the 2nd most by a single player in week 1 in the player stats era

PFFL Survivor – Week 1

Kramerica dominated the scoreboard in Week 1 and took home the season’s first immunity idol. Meanwhile, Post Mortem simply got dominated, scoring only 70.15 points (1.27 less than CSPJ) and got the boot.

Immunity: Kramerica

Eliminated: Post Mortem

Week 2 Highlights

Post Mortem ended a 7-game losing streak, absolutely crushing Camel Toe (by 1.01 pts) in the process. This matchup is now tied at 3 wins each, with a rubber match coming up later this season.
The Hip beat Turd Ferguson for the first time since 2008 to pick up their first win of the season and drop Turd to 0-2
Double D improved to 2-0 on the year, and won their 4th straight over Winning Beer Money, who hasn’t defeated DD since 2007
In one of two high-scoring, close games this week, Tappa Kegga Day remained undefeated, beating DDT by almost 4 points. It’s TKD’s first win over Tanning since the 2008 playoffs, but DDT still leads the career series 10-6
Hedfullalicker beat CSPJ 114.98 – 111.77 in the other high octane matchup this week. Hedfullalicker now leads this series 7-5
SIAP improved to 2-0 with a 25 point victory over SaaBB in the first of their two meetings this year
The Jedi Masters are also undefeated, dropping week 1 high point team Kramerica by almost 30 points. This is the Jedi’s first win over Kramerica since 2008, but they lead the series 8-5

Week 2 Records/Milestones

SIAP recorded their 20th high point week ever, trailing only Post Mortem’s 20.5
The Hedfullalicker-CSPJ and TKD-DDT matchups rank as the 6th and 8th highest scoring week 2 games ever, respectively
Post Mortem-Camel Toe is the 3rd closest week 2 game in PFFL history
Jeremy Maclin’s 32.2 points is the 8th most by a benched WR in the player stats era
Double D moved ahead of Post Mortem into 2nd on the career regular season winning percentage list (trailing only High Life’s big 2 season run)
SaaBB and The Jedi Masters both have 99 career regular season wins. One of them will likely be the fifth team in league history to notch 100

PFFL Survivor – Week 2

SIAP notched 122.05 points and grabbed immunity this week. In another hotly contest elimination, Winning Beer Money’s 79.52 edged out Turd’s 85.91 for elimination honors

Immunity: SIAP

Eliminated: Winning Beer Money

PFFL Babe of the Week

This week’s babe comes courtesy of SIAP. Meet Saskia Howard Clarke, who was on Big Brother in the UK in 2005 or something. Anyway, 34FF. You can find more fun pics here

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2011, Recap, Saskia Howard Clarke

2010 Championship Recap

Posted on January 4, 2011 by Post Mortem

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View the Week 17 Game Center

Results

Double D wins their 2nd PFFL championship, defeating Hedfullalicker 104.06 – 78.05. In a trend-bucking turn, Hedfullalicker became the first team ever to drop to 0-2 in championship games. Double D is now 2-1 in championship games.

PFFL Championship History

A little recap of the PFFL championship games of years gone by:

1997	Super Bowl I	The Dark Side def. Tappa Kegga Day 101-50	TKD loses by 51 in the innagural PFFL title game
1998	Super Bowl II	Tappa Kegga Day def. Skens Irish Alley Pissers 109-78	TKD returns to the championship and gets it this time, over SIAP
1999	Super Bowl III	The Fighting Lamas def. Cuttysark, 102-80	In its first season, TFL beats CS by 22
2000	Super Bowl IV	Skens Irish Alley Pissers def. Sharp as a Bowling Ball, 134-94	SIAP returns to the Super Bowl, and gets a win this time by scoring more points than any other team in championship history
2001	Super Bowl V	High Life def. Post Mortem, 110-73	The commissioner’s team makes its first-ever appearance in the championship, but loses to freshman team, HL
2002	Super Bowl VI	The Hip def. Duany Duany Tanning, 110-66	TH dominates DDT to win the title for the first time
2003	Super Bowl VII	The Hip def. Double D, 85-71	TH wins a repeat championship over freshman team DD in a low-scoring matchup.
2004	Super Bowl VIII	SIAP def. The Jedi Masters, 96-86.8	SIAP returned to the championship for the first time in four years, and promptly won their 2nd PFFL title, matching The Hip as the only two-time champs.
2005	Super Bowl IX	Double D def. Tappa Kegga Day, 66.68-64.75	In their second championship appearance, Double D claims the crown in the lowest scoring Super Bowl in PFFL history. TKD falls to 1-2 in championship games.
2006	Super Bowl X	Winning Beer Money def. Hedfullalicker, 101.04 – 99.89	This was both the highest scoring and closest championship game in PFFL history. Both teams were appearing in the first Super Bowl.
2007	Super Bowl XI	The Jedi Masters def. Kramerica Industries, 93.11 – 74.77	The most successful season in PFFL history ends appropriately for The Jedi Masters, as they claim their first league title to conclude a 13-1 season.
2008	Super Bowl XII	Tappa Kegga Day def. SIAP, 79.09 – 78.17	In the closest championship game in PFFL history, TKD became the third franchise to win 2 PFFL championships.
2009	Super Bowl XIII	Sharp as a Bowling Ball def. SIAP, 136.45 – 49.55	One year after the closest championship in league history, SaaBB defeats SIAP in the most lopsided PFFL title game of all time.

Super Bowl Records

Double D’s winning point total is the 6th highest score in championship history
The combined point total of 182.11 makes this the 7th highest scoring Super Bowl matchup ever
The 26.01 point victory margin is the 7th largest ever
Tim Tebow’s 29 point output is the 2nd most by a player since 2004 (behind Larry Johnson’s big game in 2005)
Despite only joining the league in 2003, Double D already has 9 postseason victories, 4th most in PFFL history
Hedfullalicker’s 9th playoff loss is tied with SaaBB for 2nd most ever behind Post Mortem
Double D is 9-4 in the postseason, best among active clubs
Double D joins SIAP, Tappa Kegga Day and The Hip as the only 2-time PFFL champions
Back in week 16, Double D, Hedfullalicker and Winning Beer Money all joined the list of PFFL teams to score 1000 postseason points

Toilet Bowl Championship

The Jedi Masters beat The Hip 77.89 – 68.34 to become the first ever 2-time Toilet Bowl champion.

Franchise Ratings

View Franchise Ratings

Now that the season has concluded, our annual franchise ratings have been updated. Some highlights:

SIAP is the only team to begin and end the year as a five-star team. Post Mortem and The Jedi Masters both fell from 5 to 4.5, while Tappa Kegga Day moved from 4.5 to 5 and Double D rose a full point from 4 to 5.
SaaBB (4.5), DDT (4), Turd Ferguson (1.5), Kramerica (1) and Camel Toe (0) all held steady.
CSPJ’s second straight season with a division title has them continuing on their path upward in franchise rating. This season’s success moved them all the way from 0.5 to 2

Championship Recap Babe

So, yeah, pretty much mailing this one in… Above are some celebrities celebrating New Years in bikinis. The one below is in honor of Camel Toe’s first playoff appearance. It’s the lip slip by Maria Menounos.

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Fergie, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Maria Menounos, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Playoff Week 1 Recap

Posted on December 21, 2010 by Post Mortem

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For the second straight year, the top two seeds fall in the first round. That means either Double D wins the championship, or a .500 team will take home the title this year.

Playoff Round 1 Highlights

In their first ever PFFL playoff game, Camel Toe came out with a win, taking down top-seeded CSPJ in a defensive battle (if we’re going to be kind). Arian Foster and MJD let down the smokers, as did their decision to start Kerry Collins over Eli Manning. For Camel Toe, it was Chris Johnson living up to his first-pick-overall status with a 22 point performance.
The second overall seed was Tappa Kegga Day. TKD scored the second most points of any playoff team this week. Unfortunately, they were playing Hedfullalicker, who scored the most. For Hed, it was the Michael Vick show, as the comeback player of the year tallied 44 points on his own. TKD countered with a huge game from Jason Witten and a solid effort from Drew Brees, but Terrell Owens’ injury early in his game this week resulted in a goose egg at one WR spot.
After limping into playoff eligibility by winning the god-awful Central division title, Winning Beer Money is now in the final four, courtesy of a 20 point win over SIAP. Peyton Hillis joined the ranks of RBs with successful seasons who came up small in the first round of the postseason. For WBM, it was solid performances from most of their roster that led the way to victory.
In the closest game of the week, Double D made full use of the 2-point Home Field Advantage to beat DDT by just over a point. Jon Kitna is the surprise hero in this win while stalwarts like Tom Brady, Dwayne Bowe and Matt Forte all came up small for DDT.

Playoff Record Watch

The 121.91 total points scored in the Camel Toe – CSPJ game is the 2nd lowest combined point total in PFFL postseason history. You have to go all the way back to 1999′s 71-50 win by WNFL over The Dark Side to find a lower scoring game.
Double D’s 1.18 point win over DDT ranks as the fifth closest game in playoff history.
Two teams joined the top 10 list of fewest points scored in a playoff win this week: Camel Toe is 2nd on that list behind TKD’s ugly first round win over Co-Cheese in 1999, and Double D finds themselves in the top 10 for a second time. They add an 8th ranked point total to their 3rd place score from the 2005 championship game.
Tappa Kegga Day’s 103.44 points is the 6th most points scored in a losing effort in the postseason
Camel Toe is the only active PFFL team with a perfect postseason record. Can they keep it up and win the 2010 championship?
DDT became the 8th team in PFFL history to score 1000 postseason points
CSPJ became the 11th team to lose 5 playoff games

Toilet Bowl Results

Turd Ferguson 119.13 – Post Mortem 103.79 > Both would’ve been strong contenders in the actual playoffs. Instead, Turd continues a march to the toilet.
The Hip 96.04 – SaaBB 87.74 > The Hip has dreams of another Toilet Bowl title to sit on the fireplace next to the one they earned in 2007

Playoff Recap Babes

It’s the playoffs, so you get videos and multiple ladies. First up is a video from Saturday Night Live which features Jessica Alba and Blake Lively in bed. Next is a clip from the movie Black Swan with Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. No boobies or anything here, but I probably wouldn’t watch these with the kids.

I Just Had Sex:

From Black Swan:

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Blake Lively, Jessica Alba, Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Week 14 Recap & Playoff Info

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Post Mortem

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Week 14 Highlights

CSPJ wrapped up their season by completing a season sweep of DDT, tying their all-time matchup at 4 wins each
Hedfullalicker beat Double D for the first time since their first meeting back in 2006, earning a season split and crawling back to .500 in the process
Camel Toe beat SIAP for the first time since their first meeting back in 2006, earning a season split and crawling back to .500
SaaBB beat Kramerica to gain a season split in their series and maintain a career lead in their matchup, 8-6
Tappa Kegga Day snuck by The Hip to extend their all-time series lead to 10-5
The Jedi Masters beat Post Mortem in an ugly, low-scoring game that deserves very little to be said about it. It was the Jedis first win over Post since the playoff semifinals in 2007
Winning Beer Money positively destroyed Turd Ferguson to earn the Central division title. The win continues WBM’s completely lopsided performance against Turd, pushing their series lead to 14-2.

PFFL Survivor

Rebounding from their loss last week, CSPJ outscored Double D by over 20 points this week to claim the PFFL Survivor crown and the $100 cash prize that goes with it. Double D’s consolation prize is $40.

Record Watch

The 53.41 points scored by The Jedi Masters this week is the 9th fewest points scored in a win in league history, and the lowest game-winning point total in over 2 years
CSPJ’s 12 wins on the season is tied for 2nd best all-time (The Jedi Masters have the record with 13)
CSPJ ended the season with 1535.18 points, the 5th highest point total in PFFL history
CSPJ became the fifth team in PFFL history to go undefeated in non-division action. They are the first to accomplish the feat since TKD and TJM did it in 2007
Post Mortem extended their losing streak to 6 games this week. That is tied for 10th longest losing streak ever and will carry over to next year
The six-game losing streak to end the season ties Post Mortem with 2 other teams for the 2nd worst finish in league history
CSPJ became the 14th team to reach 10,000 regular season points, take one game more than the three fastest teams
SIAP is now tied with SaaBB and Post Mortem for the most playoff appearances (10) in PFFL history
DDT’s 8th playoff appearance in 10 seasons is the best of any PFFL franchise who played more than one year
Hedfullalicker tied SaaBB’s record for most wild card appearances all-time with 7
The 1372+ points scored against Camel Toe and the 1362+ points scored against DDT are the 8th and 10th highest points allowed amounts ever

Career Record Watch

Despite an awful season, Post Mortem still has a commanding lead in total all-time regular season wins with 113. The closest challenger is SIAP with 105
The Hip’s record 106 regular season losses is 11 more than challenger SaaBB
Post Mortem still has the highest regular season winning percentage (0.579) of active teams, but Double D is closing in fast (0.571)
Post Mortem has 17,936 regular season points, still by far the best in the league, but Hedfullalicker passed The Hip this season into second place on the list
DDT now has the career mark for most Points Per Game with 92.3. Previous leader Post Mortem is now a relatively distant second with 91.5
The Jedi Masters are the league’s best team in division play, with a 0.594 winning percentage

Season High Points & High Points Against

As expected, CSPJ held their wide margin to win the season high points race by over 120 points over runner-up DDT. In the High Points Against battle, we had quite the close finish, with DDT placing 2nd there as well. In the end, it was Camel Toe holding on by 9.4 points. Camel Toe’s prize amount will be determined on Dec 31 when the final interest amount is determined in the PFFL bank account. It’ll likely be a little over $30.

Playoff Qualifiers/Tiebreakers/Seeds

After running all kinds of numbers last week in anticipation of a messy tiebreaker for the final playoff spots, it should come as no surprise that we ended up with the easiest scenario. If your team won 7 games, you are in the playoffs, pure and simple.

CSPJ is your #1 seed as winner of the East and with a league best 12-2 record
TKD is your #2 seed as winner of the West with a 10-4 mark
Winning Beer Money earned the Central Division title and #3 seed with a 7-7 record
Double D, at 9-5, is the best non-division winner in the league and also gets to host a playoff game as the #4 seed
For the #5 seed, DDT beats Hedfullalicker with on the points tiebreaker and SIAP gets past Camel Toe with a better division record. DDT and SIAP did not play, so it comes down to points scored which DDT wins
For the #6 seed, it’s now Hedfullalicker vs SIAP, and SIAP beat Hed in the regular season
For the #7 seed, it’s Hedfullalicker vs Camel Toe. They did not meet this season, so it comes to total points and Hedfullalicker grabs the #7 seed.
Camel Toe is your remaining 7-7 team, earning the #8 seed and their first ever PFFL playoff berth.

Remember, the better seeds (1-4) get home field advantage in this round. That advantage is a free 2 points. Don’t waste it.

All non-playoff teams have had their ability to perform waivers revoked since that privilege is only offered to postseason teams. For those teams in the playoffs, remember the playoff waiver rules:

During the playoffs, only teams in the playoffs may drop players, and free agents can only be picked up to replace an INJURED player. Furthermore, the player must have been active or at the very least, listed as Probable in the week before the free agent acquisition is attempted (no stocking of injured players to make playoff moves).

Recap Babe

Melanie Iglesias is your 2010 Maxim Hometown Hottie winner. She wishes you luck in the playoffs and would like you to stop staring at her boobs.

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Melanie Iglesias, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Week 13 Recap and Playoff Possibilities

Posted on December 8, 2010 by Post Mortem

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The Central division is officially PFFL’s version of the NFC West, prompting the league office to put “consider changing the playoff seeding (not qualifying — just seeding) process” onto the 2011 PFFL Competition Committee meeting agenda. Of course, this will require an NFL season in 2011.

Week 13 Results

In a possible postseason semi-final preview, Double D beat previously unstoppable CSPJ, earning a split of their season series in the process. Double D leads this overall series 6-3
The Hip continued to make a valiant late season run, winning their third straight with a victory over DDT, splitting their season series and giving the Hip a 9-7 series lead.
Hedfullalicker won a must-win game, beating Turd Ferguson to tie their all-time matchup at 8 wins each
Kramerica earned a season sweep of Camel Toe, their only 2 wins over Toe in 6 tries. Both teams sit at 6-7, on the brink of playoff qualification/heartbreak
Tappa Kegga Day clinched a division title and eliminated SaaBB from playoff contention by sweeping their season series. SaaBB still leads the career matchup, 9-8.
SIAP handed Post Mortem a fifth straight loss on the season, officially ending Mortem’s longshot playoff chances. SIAP now has a 9-8 all-time lead in this series
The Jedi Masters played the role of potential spoiler, beating Winning Beer Money in PFFL’s NFC West. The Jedis are now 5-8, but are 4-1 in the division, with those 4 wins all coming against the two teams who will battle in Week 14 for the Central division title.

PFFL Survivor Finale

Not only did Double D beat CSPJ head-to-head this week, but they also took the lead in the two-week Survivor finale. CSPJ is not out of it by any means, though, as they only need to make up 9 points in Week 14.

High Point Races

CSPJ is going to win the season high points title, unless DDT outscores them by 122 points this week. So yeah, congratulations Smokers.

In the race for most points against, Camel Toe has a commanding 52.48 lead over DDT. DDT faces high point leader CSPJ this week, however, while Toe takes on SIAP. If CSPJ outscores SIAP by 53, Camel Toe is gonna lose this race.

Record Watch

CSPJ has already scored the 10th most points of any team in a single season. If they score 122 points in week 14, they will surpass The Jedi Masters’ record of 1551.91 set in 2007.
CSPJ’s win streak ended this week at 10 games, which will leave them alone in the #4 spot on that list for at least a year.
Congratulations to Double D who became the 13th team in PFFL history to score 10,000 regular season points. They accomplished the feat in 111 games, tying Post Mortem and DDT as the fastest teams to this milestone.
Hedfullalicker won their 100th regular season game this week. They join Post Mortem, SIAP and TKD as the only teams to hit this mark.
In losing to Hedfullalicker, Turd Ferguson became the 4th team in league history to lose 100 overall games
The Jedi Masters’ 1-7 non-division record ties them for 4th on the list of worst non-division records in a season with 4 other teams. Three teams have gone a full season without winning a single non-division matchup (TKD did have a tie back in 2000)
With their joint elimination this week, SaaBB and Post Mortem will remain stuck on a league-leading 10 playoff appearances until at least 2011. SIAP can join them in a tie for the lead in this race by officially qualifying in week 14.
Tappa Kegga Day’s division title is the fifth in franchise history, tied with The Jedi Masters as the only two teams to hit that mark.
CSPJ, meanwhile, has won their second division title (the other was in 2009), tied for 7th all-time

Playoff Outlook & Wk 14 Games to Watch

ALL of the following should be taken as unofficial — there are a lot of combinations that could happen here.

Ok, first off, here’s what we know for sure:

CSPJ is the #1 seed
Tappa Kegga Day is the #2 seed
Double D is the top wild card and #4 seed
Post Mortem and SaaBB are OUT
The winner of the week 14 game between Winning Beer Money and Turd Ferguson will win the Central division and will be the #3 seed

And, I am pretty sure about this:

SIAP is IN
DDT is IN

And now, here’s where things get interesting:

If Hedfullalicker and DDT tie at 7-7 in the East, DDT will win the tiebreaker based on points
If Hedfullalicker and The Hip tie at 6-8 in the East, The Hip will win the tiebreaker based on a better division record
The Jedi Masters swept BOTH Winning Beer Money and Turd Ferguson, so a win for TJM will move them to 2nd place in the Central, ahead of the loser of the WBM-Turd game
If SIAP, Kramerica and Camel Toe tie with 7-7 records, Kramerica wins the tiebreaker based on a 3-1 head-to-head record
If SIAP and Camel Toe are tied, SIAP wins the tiebreaker based on a better division record
If Kramerica and Camel Toe are tied, Kramerica wins the tiebreaker based on a sweep of Toe
Hedfullalicker is in with a win
Hedfullalicker can also qualify with a loss, but that also requires a loss by Kramerica or Camel Toe AND winning a points tiebreaker. It also is going to be much easier if The Hip loses due to the in-division tiebreaker.
Kramerica is in with a win
Kramerica is also in if they lose, AND Hedfullalicker wins, AND SIAP wins, AND Tappa Kegga Day wins, AND The Jedi Masters win
Kramerica can also fall into a points tiebreaker with a loss. The best scenario of they lose is for Camel Toe to also lose, but frankly it’s messy at that point, so they KI should try to score lots of points
WBM can get in with a loss if the following happens: SaaBB, TKD and Post Mortem all win. Otherwise, there are still some scenarios where WBM can get involved in a points tiebreaker, but it requires some very specific result combos
Similarly, Turd Ferguson can get in with a loss, a LOT of help and by winning a points tiebreaker
Camel Toe is in with a win, AND a loss by either Hedfullalicker or Kramerica. If both Hedfull and Kramerica win, Camel Toe is eliminated
Camel Toe qualifies with a loss, AND wins by DDT, Double D, Kramerica, The Hip, The and Jedi Masters — this is because Toe wins a three-way tiebreak with The Hip and The Jedis
Camel Toe can also get involved in a points tiebreaker if they lose, AND BOTH Double D and Kramerica win
The Hip and The Jedi Masters are in similar positions. They absolutely must win, and their only chance of qualification is some help in other games, as well as winning a points tiebreaker
Specifically, The Hip needs wins by all of (DD, CT and SaaBB) or (DD, SIAP, KI, PM and TF) or (SIAP, SaaBB and TF) or (CSPJ, DD, SIAP, KI, TJM and WBM) or (SIAP, WBM, and SaaBB) or (CSPJ, DD, SIAP, KI, PM and WBM) — again, that’s just to get to the points tiebreak
Specifically, The Jedi Masters need wins by all of (DD, CT and SaaBB) or (DD, SIAP and TKD) or (SIAP, SaaBB and TH) or (CSPJ, DD, SIAP, KI, and TH) — again, that’s just to get to the points tiebreak

Recap Babe

Irina Sheik is a supermodel who dates an athlete. How revolutionary.

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Irina Sheik, Playoffs, Recap

2010 Weeks 11 & 12 Recap

Posted on December 1, 2010 by Post Mortem

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Hopefully everyone had a great Thanksgiving with plenty of food, family, friends and football. Based solely on an incredibly inaccurate prediction regarding the Bears-Eagles game on Sunday, my PFFL team was not thanks-worthy. I think my bench would’ve won a lot of games this week though. Oh well… I think this is the good thing about playing in multiple leagues.

Week 11 Highlights

CSPJ won their 9th in a row with a sound beat down of Kramerica
Double D earned a season split with DDT in blowout fashion
The Hip threw a wrench in Hedfullalicker’s playoff preparations, earning a split of their season matchup in the process
Uh oh, is Camel Toe going to fade out of playoff contention again? TKD beat them this week to split their two-game division series this season
Post Mortem laid a turd and got beat by Turd Ferguson, who earned the season sweep
The Jedi Masters continued their late season run, winning their third in a row and beating SaaBB for the first time since 2007
Winning Beer Money extended their all-time series lead to 12-6 over SIAP

Not sure what was going on this week, but 3 of the 7 games featured teams getting their first win over an opponent in 6 years.

Week 12 Highlights

CSPJ simply cannot be stopped. Their 10th straight victory came over Hedfullalicker in a high-scoring matchup
Camel Toe won their first game ever over Double D, in three tries (all in even numbered years, oddly)
DDT had not beaten Winning Beer Money since 2004, but ended that losing streak in grand fashion, with a 152-83 blowout this week
The Hip needed every last decimal point this week to beat The Jedi Masters for the first time since week 12 of the 2004 season
Kramerica’s starters scored 68, Post Mortem’s starters scored 55, Post Mortem’s bench scored 98. Post Mortem sighed
Turd Ferguson earned their first win over SaaBB since 2004, and put themselves right back in the playoff hunt
SIAP got back to .500 with a season-split-earning win over Tappa Kegga Day in the 19th game of this long-time rivalry

PFFL Survivor

DDT bowed out of Survivor in week 11 with 85 points, by far the most for an eliminated team this season. In week 12, SaaBB picked the wrong week to struggle and was the final team eliminated from the island.

So it will be CSPJ and Double D in the Survivor finals. $100 to the winner, $40 to the loser in a two-week cumulative point showdown. CSPJ has twice been the Survivor runner-up, while Double D was a runner-up in the competition one time. One of them will get their first Survivor necklace.

Record/Milestone Watch

The Hip’s 0.28 point win over The Jedi Masters in week 12 goes down as the 5th closest game in PFFL history
CSPJ has 11 wins. Only 4 times has a team finished the season with more than that, highlighted by The Jedi Masters’ 13 victories in 2007
DDT joins a big list of teams who have notched 3 high point weeks in a season. Only 9 teams have acquired more than that, with three teams getting to 5.
CSPJ’s 10-game win streak is the fourth longest in league history and could still tie The Jedi Masters’ record 12-game streak from weeks 3-14 of the 2007 season.
CSPJ became the 4th team to score 10,000 points in all games (regular and playoff) in week 11
CSPJ became the 14th team (tied for 4th fastest) to score 5,000 points in division play in week 12

High Point Race

You can view the complete standings here, but all you really need to know is that CSPJ has a 142 point lead with 2 weeks left. It’s going to take something crazy to keep CSPJ from the cash here.

High Points Against Race

Camel Toe is leading the race for the bonus prize of having the most points scored against. The full list is here – with an 82 point lead, this one seems somewhat unlikely to change as well, but if anyone has CSPJ and DDT left on their schedule, they could move up

Playoff Hunt

There is a lot left to be determined for the final playoff spots, but a few things are certain:

CSPJ has won their division and will be the #1 seed
Tappa Kegga Day needs only one more win (or one loss by both SIAP and Camel Toe) to clinch a division crown and the #2 seed
Either Winning Beer Money or Turd Ferguson will win the Central division and likely #3 seed
No matter what else happens, Double D and TKD are in the playoffs
DDT is in the playoffs with a win or a Kramerica loss
SaaBB, The Jedi Masters, Post Mortem and The Hip stand on the brink of elimination. They need two wins and a bunch of help for a chance at postseason play.
There are 6 teams at 6-6 or 5-7. That’s way too many combinations for me to figure out right now.

Recap Babe

Sara Jaramillo is from Colombia and apparently likes grapes. She would like to congratulate CSPJ on their #1 seed and wish them the same good fortune that Post Mortem had the last two years in that position.

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Categories: Recap | Tags: 2010, Recap

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