This week is the second of our two rivalry weeks for the season. Last time I named them all. This time, each team gets a mascot. Why? Well, I’d rather look for pictures of hot chicks than spend the day trying to think of some unique name for your rivalry. If any of you would like to name your rivalry games differently, however, feel free to let me know.

Week 12 Rivalry Matchups

Duany Duany Tanning vs Tappa Kegga Day
Olsen Twins vs Shania Twain

This is the 11th meeting between these two clubs in a series that has seen games played in every year since DDT joined the league. DDT beat TKD, 91.5 – 59.6, back in week 6 and hopes to their overall series advantage to 8-3. A win would also put DDT right back in the mix for the East division crown. DDT is represented by the Olsen twins in a photo that is more than likely fake, but that I’m sure DDT will enjoy. TKD is being cheered on by Shania Twain. I have no idea if she’s still performing or even alive, but she’s probably still on Steck’s list.

Sken’s Irish Alley Pissers vs Post Mortem
Krista Allen vs Keeley Hazell

This battle features the two winningest teams in PFFL history. Post Mortem leads all teams with 101overall wins and 96 regular season victories. SIAP is right behind with 89 in the regular season and is seeking their 100th win overall this week. This series is just as close, tied at six wins each in the regular season (although SIAP holds the overall lead, 7-6, due to a playoff win). SIAP won the last meeting, in week 7 last season. This is the 4th week 12 meeting in the career matchup, with SIAP ahead 2-1 in week 12 games. Krista Allen and Keeley Hazell share a special spot in many dreams…

Kramerica Industries vs Winning Beer Money
Brooke Burns vs Brooke Burke

This is the 10th meeting between Kramerica and WBM in a series that dates back to 2002. 2002 might also be when these two Brookes were both popular. Kramerica is currently 7-4 and riding a two-game win streak. WBM is 4-7 after losing last week. In the career series, Kramerica holds the lead, 5-4, and won the last meeting, 117.89 – 76.2, in week 8 of the 2007 season. This is the latest in the season these two teams have ever met.

Double D vs Chain Smoking Patch Junkies
Big Boobs vs Smoking Chick

Yeah, so these pictures were just team name based. It seemed appropriate. And really, when you’re both 3-8? Well, it’s not like I’m going to try extra hard. This game is probably going to be quite meaningful, though, as the loser is gonna be out of the playoff picture. I’m not saying the winner will get in, but they might at least still be alive. Since CSPJ won the first meeting in 2004, Double D has dominated this series, leading 3-1.

Hedfullalicker vs The Jedi Masters
Katherine McPhee vs Carrie Underwood

The babe matchup is two former American Idol hotties. The game matchup is a good one. TJM leads the all-time series over Hedfullalicker, 7-6, has won the last two meetings, and desperately needs a victory this week if they want to have any chance at a playoff berth. Hedfullalicker has won both of the previous two week 12 matchups between these clubs. Interestingly, since the Jedi’s entry into the league in 1998, these two teams have played every season except 2000.

The Hip vs Sharp as a Bowling Ball
Pamela Anderson vs Yasmine Bleeth

In a battle of original PFFL franchises, SaaBB and The Hip square off for the 17th time. The overall series is all tied up at 8 wins each. This is the fourth time these teams have met in week 12, with The Hip holding a 2-1 advantage. SaaBB has already locked up a playoff spot with the Central division title, while The Hip, at 5-6, is fighting for survival in their quest for the postseason.

Camel Toe vs Turd Ferguson
Erica Durance vs Scarlett Johansson

This young rivalry is being represented this week by Lois Lane (Smallville version) and the star of way too many Woody Allen movies. Turd leads this series, 2-1, winning in both 2006 and back in week 2 this season. Camel Toe took down Turd last year. These two teams have never before met after week 8. Camel Toe is out of playoff contention, but Turd Ferguson is right in the mix at 6-5.

Record Watch

• SIAP seeks their 100th overall win this week
• Turd Ferguson is looking for their 75th regular season win
• Post Mortem can lock up their first ever #1 seed this week with a win or SaaBB loss

During the summer, I got a head start on some of the preview posts. You can call it cheating if you want, but they all do feature some Keeley Hazell pictures, so I don’t think you’ll complain too much.

This is the one I wrote for week 3.

In this post, I’m going to make an attempt to give a little more life to some of the rivalries in our first ever official Rivalry Week – inspired by (most of) your submissions in the offseason listing your biggest PFFL rivals.

Here we go. If you think any of these are lame, let me know and I’ll rename it to something more of your liking. Otherwise, you just might be stuck with these rivalry names for life.

Post Mortem vs The Jedi Masters The Battle for BritneyThis is the first ever named PFFL rivalry. There’s even a traveling trophy. It’s a poster of Britney Spears that, yes, I felt weird buying 5 or 6 years ago or whenever. I think it’s in Walker’s basement right now, or on one of his daughter’s bedroom walls.

Duany Duany Tanning vs Chain Smoking Patch Junkies FIB (F**king Illinois Bowl) Both of these teams feature owners who reside in Chicago. While this isn’t necessarily a reflection of their individual worth, it does mean that they are likely terrible drivers. I believe this game is being played at Six Flags.

SIAP vs Double D Irish American Cup This is the storied matchup of Uncle Sam and the Leprechaun. One nation is an island known for its friendly drunks (just don’t bring up religion!), the other is the most powerful nation in the world. So, yeah, it’s a fair fight.

Kramerica Industries vs Turd Ferguson The White Shirt Allegedly, these two dislike the sun and are willing to go to extreme measures to protect themselves from it, to the point of putting on a layer of sunscreen so thick it becomes the equivalent of a shirt. The picture for this one is probably better than an image of either of these owners getting oiled up.

Hedfullalicker vs The Hip The World’s Smallest Indoor Cocktail Party One team is literally a head full of liquor. The other has owners separated by an ocean, but governed (symbolically) by the same queen. The name is a knockoff of the annual Florida – Georgia matchup in college football. Hopefully it’s also how these guys spend their time cheering on this game this weekend.

Sharp as a Bowling Ball vs Winning Beer Money Battle for the Flute Someone involved in this matchup was in band. Someone on one of these two teams listed the other team as their team’s #1 rival. Historically, they’ve played each other closely, including one tie. Alysson Hannigan and her Band Camp skills await the winner.

Tappa Kegga Day vs Camel Toe Mooseknuckle Cup Well, the term is an advanced form of one team’s name, the picture is one that Kennedy would probably post for the other team. It seems to fit. Given that this is only their second meeting ever, they’re probably also going to hope they don’t play again anytime soon during rivalry week so they’re not subjected to this same pic.

Rivalry Babe

Keeley gets the nod as the official preview babe, so for this special rivalry post, we’ll go with one of her countrymates. Say hello to Danielle Lloyd. Did you just say “Hello” out loud? Because she can’t really hear you. I mean, I was just using that figuratively.

More Danielle:

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